DUCK!
Getting my needs met. I've made some sacrifices. The greater good. Do you all hate me now? Ahhhhh, but you'll all agree. I've accomplished something. Here are the points.....
*MM is on her way out.
*P will be going out with her.
*Canada is on it's way out
*Apologies have been made.
*BABY'S BC IS GOING TO BE MADE TOMORROW!
But the court case still runs......which is the amount of time he has to completely SETTLE in Egypt. We will move into the villa by Eid al Kabeer. As I type this, the carpenters are working, we will pick the new ceramic tomorrow, the plumber is working and the builder is finishing off the final pieces here and there......the gardener/maid have had their quarters made. We are buying a guard dog.
Oh yes. It's serious. And I have witnesses to it all. He has to keep up his end, or I'm gone. And now he knows I'll go.
Alhamdulillah.....we still have some things to discuss........but as long as I have baby's paperwork done, I'm able to take control of my own destiny if need be. After checking out everywhere, I found that it is ABSOLUTELY impossible for me to do the paperwork without him. Damage control people.
So now we begin round 2........
posted by Safa at 3:33 AM
34 Comments:
From L_Oman:
I'll just say alhamdulillaah first.
Second, I am happy for you, I really, really am. You've been in my thoughts and prayers and I often sit and wonder - how is Safa doing at this moment (you're not thaaaat far from me!)?
A big exhale coming from me. Insha'allaah, you'll be in your 'mansion' soon after I'll be in mine! :) May Allah make it a blessed home.
4:07 AM
Salam alaikoum
This is awesome. Macha Allah. I see where you're going and I see your point. Good job Safa! You rock. Role Model.
5:26 AM
Allahu Akbar! My kids are here asking me why I am crying. I've wanted to post since he gave u the "divorce", but your story touches so close to home, and it hurts. I just couldn't write you yet. If we're patient, Allah always, always takes care of us. I really believe it, because He has taken care of me. Right now i am going thru another test, but as I think why do I have to do this again, I also realize that as long as Allah tests me, then He loves me and has not placed that "veil over my eyes" alhumdulilah.
I want to so much give you and your children hugs and kisses... May Allah bring the love back between you and your husband, may He heal you and your children, may He bring you and your family peace and the best that this world has to offer, along with paradise in the next life.
The next stage will be difficult, but you can make it. We did, alhumdulilah; my hubby and I are closer than ever. If Allah can forgive us our sins, then we can find it in us to forgive others.
Allahu Akbar
5:27 AM
Dear Sister safa,
Alhumdolilah, I am so happy that you are happy. Don't budge. Do everything on your term. Get your safety, and have back up. In case if he tries to do something next time. So be careful. Get everything you need first for your futre. Alhumdolilah I am so happy for you. Allah is always with you.
5:51 AM
Alhumdulillah I'm so happy for you! You're on your way to having the family which you and your children deserve back Insha Allah and that is a result of your patience amonst other things. I don't know if I would have had the courage to do what you just did but you're absolutely right, it is for the greater good. Hang in there!
5:53 AM
I wish you the best and I'm happy to read that your husband is comprimising but I hope this means that he will treat you better and that in the end you will be closer to each other.
Too bad that sometimes it takes a major fit to make a man realise how important his wife & children actually are to him.
6:17 AM
How could we hate you, Safa?! Look, you covered ground. The family is involved and aware of his hijinx. Honestly...from the way you described the conversations, if I were your husband I would have taken your request for divorce very seriously. There is nothing weak about demanding change and giving hubby a chance to own up. He should be scared, though.
8:09 AM
Alhumdullilah! Iam glad he has seen the error of his ways. MAybe now things can get back to a somewhat normal state Insha'Allah. But I do have one question- Will all that has been happeneing over the past 2 years do you believe him? I mean you can physically see him getting the villa done but what about MM, do you beleive he is really done? I want to believe it as much as I am sure you do too but I think caution needs to be taken in regards to this. You have heard on numerous occassions that she was out but BAM there she is again.....You know? Insha'Allh this text message thing had opened his eyes to the type of person she is and they type of person you are. May Allah make all things easy for you....miss you!
8:10 AM
oh and PS I could never hate you!
8:10 AM
Dear Sister safa,
I wanted to tell you, please DO NOT GET THE GUARD DOG. It's a hadith that Angel don't enter the house, which has a dog, and pictures. Please do not get the dog. Trust Allah, he will protect you anywhere and everywhere, just like he listen to your prayer in this difficult times.
8:10 AM
I hope it all works out for you and the kids. I think you are doing what you think is best for your family. That is what is important.
8:13 AM
Asalamalaykomm Successful Safa,
There are many ways to be a success. If ANYONE wants to tell you that you have not succeeded, then they have not looked at the big picture. You have kept things in perspective. Our life is bigger than just ourself, as well you know. You have done the best you could with what you were given.
May this man with so blessings take time to count them and thank God.
8:29 AM
I sincerely hope this works!
MM had to go, no matter what and hopefully this will open him up.
I am glad you are still being cautious. It could take a long while to build up the lost time and trust. (I would rather not have this posted if possible)
8:30 AM
wow, alhamdulillah. I hope things continue to go the way that works out best for you, insha Allah. How did you finally start making headway? It seemed like everything was at a deadlock for a while there...
8:47 AM
This is good news. I hope he apologizes for all the stuff he said about you. Good job on enlightening him about MM.
8:59 AM
Dear Safa,
SOunds like you are making practical decisions and no one can fault your for that. I pray that he does what he said he will and you will be happy in remaining married. But if not, getting the paperwork straight will be one less thing you'll have to do.
Love you,
PM
9:05 AM
Isn't that a revolution ?
I'm really happy for you. When that works, you're really the person who'd saved this marriage ! You impress me.
9:06 AM
soubhana Allah, wa el hamdullilah wa Allahu Akbar, hold on Safa, you are almost there, ma sha Allah!
9:13 AM
Allhamdulillah!!
Just take each day as is comes. If this is the door that Allah has opened for you - then walk right through it.
Walaikumsalam,
starlight
9:36 AM
It's my theory that men do what women let them get away with. Kudos to you for taking control! :)
10:07 AM
Way to go SAFA!!!! You seem to be winning this one and I am so happy to be in your cheering section!
I'd never judge or hate you for your choice to stay married. You do what you feel is best.
My dear Grandma (100 years old and counting) always reminds me to "follow my 1st mind" and if your 1st mind is telling you to negotiate then you should, IMO.
10:20 AM
Personally, it sounds to me like this is a wise compromise for you. Afterall, you've been saying that you prefer having your dh as a true dad and husband, truly committed to you and your children.
If he is truly getting his act together, you can go forward with him in your life as your husband. but... if he proves unwilling to make corrections, you now have the freedom to act. And you didn't have that freedom before without baby's bc.
10:35 AM
Allahu Akbar!
I REALLY hope he's up to it this time!
12:09 PM
Mashallah Safa,
You have stayed strong and had SABR...and I don't mean in the sitting-there-doing-nothing-and-allowing-injustices-to-be-carried-out-against -yourself-and-kids, I mean in your reliance of Allah SWT. And SubhanAllah it is clear your back is being watched for you!
2:19 PM
Hmmmm, I don't know what to say about that....
3:01 PM
Hey! Alhumdillilah!! He's stopped being so selfish and is actually bending a little. Good start! Hope it continues to go well!!
4:48 PM
was all these things, you said you have witness to, documented?
5:57 PM
Salaams, Safa,
Glad to hear that you found a solution that makes you feel comfortable, secure, and most of all empowered.
Insha'Allah he will abide by his word, give you your rights, you'll reciprocate, and the two of you can begin healing, trusting, and more importantly helping your kids through the aftermath of this difficult situation.
Kudos to you for not buying into the theatrics and staying strong. Yay!!
6:29 PM
sounds good...no hating over here.
I hope it all works out as planned. No sudden if's, and's and but's to it.
Just one thing: you might want to put a guard dog on your hub as well...just in case.
(don't mind me trying to be funny...)
good luck
1:25 AM
Hey, Safa. I'm so glad you are happy. I want for you to be happy wherever you are. I pray to Allah that your husband changes. It will be hard but it can happen. Please be careful and know that whatever/wherever I will always love you.
8:41 AM
Al hamdulilaah - I pray that things continue to improve. Seeing hubby extricate himself from MM will be something. I don't think she's going to want to go away without a fight!
9:55 AM
Assalamu Aleikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatuhu,
Safa, YOU CAN KEEP A GUARD DOG OUTSIDE YOUR HOME, IT'S YOUR HUSBAND I'D WORRY ABOUT (since he's married 2 other women, have you asked him to take STD tests? One of them wasn't even a Muslim, isn't that right?).
This is from islamqa.com
Question 33668
Keeping dogs to guard the house
Question:
Myself, my mother and sister are living alone in a house. sometimes I've got to leave town due to work and my mother and sister stay alone. there is no one living below and the house is big. Can we rear any pets for some protection against intruders or thiefs? If we can, what kind of pets can we rear?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible to keep a dog as a guard dog, so long as you avoid letting it inside the house and are careful to avoid letting it make vessels and clothes naajis (impure), because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever keeps a dog, his reward for good deeds will decrease by one qeeraat every day, except dogs used for farming or herding livestock.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2322.
The version narrated by Muslim (1574) says: “Whoever keeps a dog, except a dog for hunting or herding livestock, his reward will be decreased by two qeeraats every day.”
Dogs used for farming or herding livestock are those that are used to guard them.
This hadeeth indicates that it is permissible to keep a dog to guard one’s property.
Al-‘Iraaqi said in Tarh al-Tathreeb, 6/28: Our companions and others said: it is permissible to keep a dog for these three purposes, namely hunting and protecting one’s livestock and farmland. They differed concerning keeping a dog for the fourth purpose, which is to guard houses or roads etc. Some of our companions said that it is not permissible because of this hadeeth and others, which clearly state that it is haraam except for one of these three things. But most of them said, which is the more correct view, that it is permissible by way of analogy, based on the reason that may be understood from this hadeeth, which is necessity.”
With regard to preventing the dog from entering the house, that is because of the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “The angels do not enter a house in which there is a dog or an image.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3322; Muslim, 2106.
Islam Q&A
And from islamicity:
Question#:
2064
Question Date:
11/21/1997
Topic :
Dogs
Question:
Is it haram to keep a dog as a pet?
Answer:
2064 Dear Br. H. As-salaamu alaykum. Yes, it is Haram to keep a dog as a pet in the house. While prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught Muslims to treat all animals with kindness and gentleness, he also stated that a house where a dog lives inside it will not be visited by the angels. Dogs can be owned and raised by Muslims for only specific purposes such as watch dogs, shepherd dogs, hunting dogs, etc. But even with such a permission, they should stay outside the house but can live in the yard in a doghouse. Thank you for asking and God knows best.
11:29 AM
Well, now that the guard dog crisis has been averted, let's focus on the big stuff.
1:39 PM
Sigh....the dog comment was about a guard dog actually. It's a big piece of land. It would have a cage outside and be left to roam at night. I'd train it. And thanks CGal....ya, crisis averted......
Why did I name the post DUCK anyways? Seems DOG would have been more appropriate!!!
1:51 AM
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