unwinding the yarn.......

The air is very tense in my home. It's difficult to talk to someone who doesn't want to be talked to. Every time a question comes out of my mouth......it's a problem.

For example.....I asked him yesterday morning..."how long are you going to Canada for?" He said 20 days. Hmmmmm. So when are you leaving? A week before Ramadan he says.....he'll be back by Eid. Hmmmmm. But isn't that a month then? I ask him. No...it's 20 days. Maybe 22 or 23. I get sticky. 3 weeks of Ramadan and a week before equals a month...I say it calmly but FIRMLY. He grinds his teeth and answers me....

"I HAVEN"T BOOKED MY TICKET YET!"

Maybe the ticket agents will agree with him that 1 week plus 3 weeks equal 20 days I suppose. I'll just have to see, won't I?

So I pushed further....when you go back to the store....what work do you do? ALL OF IT...he says. Clearly ruffled cuz I'm pushing on.

Let me go with you, I say to him. WHAT? He responds.

"sure...you know my mom has been sick with her back...and I really would love to see her...if it's only 20 days, let me go too" I plead.

"What about the kids?? They have tutors and school...it'll be Ramadan....it's not good timing." He answers.

I say to him..."but it's only 20 days. What harm could that do?"

"NO." he says. Conversation over.

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....................I think.

~~~~~~

I called my SIL yesterday. I needed to talk. She has changed her tune of late. No more saying to me to hold on and be patient. She has one thing that she's saying over and over....Haraam. Haraam.

I explained my deal. And now I'll post it to you.....

*I want to go back to Canada with the kids. All of us.

I'm expecting that to go nowhere....but I have my BIL's support in this. My BIL will push him to take responsibility for his family and say that it's the only way to give me my rights. I still expect this to create a problem. But it's how I"m going to start.....as if I'm still trying to save the family.

At this point....my hubby will look pretty bad. And I will look him right in his angry eyes...and ask him a few questions.......

*How do you plan to be fair between your two wives right now??
*Just how are you planning to come back to Egypt when you've bought a new store???

Should the answers be unsatisfying....(Allahu alem)....but I'm expecting more of....I can't right now.....I know what I'm doing.....you have to be patient.....etc etc......

And then I'll just come out and say...."well, I can't live on patience.....I need to have a husband and you are unwilling to step up to the plate.......DIVORCE ME."

That is how it goes in my brain......no crying, okay? Please? I just don't want to cry about it anymore......