something....
....interesting. I checked his Canadian cell phone yesterday. (Oh help me Allah to keep my hands off it!!!)....here's what I found....
*the log has been deleted
*the only text messages on his phone are from me and the ones that are sent by the countries as you enter them.....
*MM's home number is deleted
*MM's cell phone number now has a "1" in front of it (meaning its' long distance while dialing in Cda?)
*there is a new listing for MM....it starts off 011 212.......
Hmmmmmmm. I know when I was in Canada and calling Egypt that's how we dial.....but for Egypt it's 011 201.....what does that mean then? Is MM in Morocco? I'm curious, but being contemplative about things.
So far we haven't really spent any time alone....the kids are all over their father, and the baby slept between us that first night. Sigh. Good news is that it appears that some ice is melting on the oldest 2 kids hearts.......
I think that by March 20th, hubby will have definately have helped his children...insha Allah?
But me? Well.....Allah knows.......what did the last commenter say in the post?? Oh ya...guarded happy. Yes...that's me. Perhaps that will be "forever me"........but u know what? I'm curious about MM........she hasn't called yet.....which is great......
I want to say something positive here.....but just don't feel it......sorry. Next post will contain some inner ramblings.....because what I've written here is just verbal diarrhea.....
posted by Safa at 7:13 AM
32 Comments:
phone number is Morocco, I just checked.....wow! 1001 questions....I don't even want to think about it.....clear my mind, breathe....
7:26 AM
yup, 212 is Morocco's country code.
7:26 AM
Asalamalaykom Snoopy Safa,
Allah showed you what you needed to see. NOW HANDS OFF THE PHONE.
I know how easily cellphone snooping can turn into an addiction. It also gives that little box too much power. Allah is more powerful. Let Allah know all...you don't have to.
As for what the truth is? Well, all will be revealed as life unfolds. There are things that have happened which would crush you if you learned of them now. Allah knows the best time for you to learn of the secrets untold.
And what's up with not being positive?! That sucks! UNACCEPTABLE! You have to say "Alhumdulillah," and you know it.
7:50 AM
Guarded happy might have to be your existence until, over what I would expect to be a good amount of time, hubby shows that his word will be honoured and that he can be trusted. I truly hope this is the beginning of your rebuild, but being somewhat supersticious, I fear 'jinxing' it with too much excitement.
8:06 AM
Asslamo Allaikum,
Lots of Muslims go to Morocco for jollies, married and umarried ones.
8:29 AM
Yes it is, and if you have the next figures, I might tell you the area (if it's not a cell phone over there). You've got mail contact on the websites of my profiles, and I'm the only one to read them.
Guarded happy is the best thing, I'd say. I pray for you :)
10:52 AM
you got it right on the 212. :)
she's that much closer. Bleah. Overland, no less.
1:14 PM
wow! u got me hooked. it's like a movie, i wanna know wat's next.....
2:34 PM
I don't get it, is she morrocan?
3:14 PM
Ummmmmmm........what? Can I call him and ask him?
3:15 PM
So what is she doing in Morocco??? I don't know how you do it but saying prayers for you to get through this!!
4:11 PM
hmm..what if he told her he's off to you guys for a while so she might as well go visit her family or whatever in morocco. so he's here fixing the scene for the moment?
yeh guarded happiness is good.
7:26 PM
Safa,
DO NOT SNOOP! I have been down that road many times before. Many times it has left me feeling stupid, and my husband hasn't wanted to trust me afterwards. Lot's of men guard they're privacy, so please do not snoop and go through your husbands phone. Focus on whats going on in your home only. I'm just mentioning this for your own good, and you want things to be on good terms. Not for him to feel like now he can't trust you. And I understand you would feel like you can't trust him for all the things he's done in the past, but that doesn't justify going through his phone. Just focus on you and your family right now, and forget about MM.
Saying this only with love,
Ashley
8:48 PM
SAFA!! I don't check your blog for a few days and all sorts of things change! lol
I am glad that he is there for so long (insha'Allah, of course). Insha'Allah his being there will take some of the inevitable pressure of single parenting off your back.
8:50 PM
WOW, the plot thickens! I am so hoping every thing works out as you want it Safa. Hang in there.
10:13 PM
What I'm worried about, and of course it isn't like you haven't thought about it, but this shouldn't be a little visit to make you feel better then everything goes back to normal. You must make him talk to you about everything. You shouldn't have to look in his cell phone, you should be discussing these things. For god sakes you have a right, woman. Tell him, I'm so happy that you've come, it's nice to have you here, but what is going on and what is going to happen, in concrete, real terms?
1:25 AM
MM is from Morroco....I call her MM for Morrocan Magic.
I wonder if she has her kids with her?
Yes...I need to talk to him. The opportunity just hasn't presented itself....and I suppose we've got lots of time now. Allah knows.
At this precise moment...I CANNOT deal with P in my marriage. I'm finished with it.....and this is what will be the bottom line that will get me a divorce. He has 6 mos to convinve me otherwise.....and you know what?
It scares the hell out of me.....
1:54 AM
Marie-Aude...I tried sending u an email and it didn't work....could you please send it to me here?? I won't publish....
2:00 AM
asalamualikum
*hoping everything works out for the best inshaAllah*
with love and duaas....
ur sister, aasiya
4:58 AM
Salam Safa, I've been a blurker for the past week and I wanted to finish reading your entire blog before I commented. Wow, what a roller coaster!!! I wanted to get to the end because I just knew it had to get better. InshaAllah ya Rab it will get better. I know there's not much I can say because people have basically said it all in the comments. Just wanted to let you know that you've seriously changed the way I view my marriage. My husband is such a good man mashaAllah, he takes very good care of me and always wants and tries his hardest for me to be happy. I take a lot for granted because I am spoiled. I will try to do more to show him I appreciate him. I'm sure your husband has taken you for granted but he will realize what a HUGE mistake he's made. You are an amazing woman mashaAllah. I feel like I know you and your children. MashaAllah they are amazing just like their mommy. :) By the way I'm an Egy American living in the Gulf and now visiting Egypt.
Rabina Ma3aky!!! :)
P.S. One thing that worries me that if she's in Morocco then he might break the visit and go there?
-Masriya
7:40 AM
Thanks Masriya....I sure hope its getting better. I wonder if he'll break and go there.....depends on how long she's staying.....
7:49 AM
You can use this website:
http://www.fonefinder.net/
If you really want to know more.
You CAN deal with P -- you just have to set your mind to it and try to make it better in terms of fairness.
SOTP, Safa! (STAY OFF THE POT!)
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
8:02 AM
cairogal:"hubby shows that his word will be honoured and that he can be trusted"
The problem is that he hasn't really given his word about anything except some vague platitudes. Flying to Egypt and saying "we'll deal with it when I'm there," or whatever just seems to me like a way to get her to shut up and buy him more time, and I say, demand a refund. I'm so glad you're sticking up for yourself. I'm all for trying to make it work, but what we need here are some concrete promises that are not, "It's over with her," or "Everything will be better." They should be, "We are divorced" or "I'm calling today to discuss divorce with her." That is real, "It's over," we have seen, means nothing.
11:25 AM
Wait are you not the one who always tells me not to be nosey????
Ignorance is bliss baby.....
7:07 PM
Salam alaikoum
I honestly wonder if he would go to Morocco, I personally don't think he would knowing the culture there. I just don't think it would jibe with her family if he showed up if her family knew the whole deal with the cw situation. Moroccans tolerate p but families are hard on the men who do it, even if they are Moroccan and doubly so if they are non moroccan. I don't think the family in Morocco would be comfortable for him unless she had totally not been straight with her family.
If she hasn't called sounds like she is trying to play hardball. Just my two cents, even though I am not in P I know Morocco and Moroccans, I just wanted to say a side trip to Morocco is doubtful to my ears. If her family was nice to him (doubtful) nothing stops her ex in laws from coming around to stir it up. If he went it would be in a hotel and likely not in her hometown. I would be surprised. Incha Allah I won't be surprised because it won't happen :)
7:11 PM
Asalaam Alaikum Sister,
So much said and unsaid. You continue to be in my dua. Insha'Allah, there is ease on the way, no matter what happens.
May Allah bless you and your family,
Aeryn
7:24 PM
Asslamo Allaikum Respect Sister in Islam,
Divorce is ugly, actually breakage of any relationship is ugly. It hurts and no one likes it; you give years and years of your emotions, your thoughts, your physical body to someone and they spit on you and leave you in the dirt.
It’s ugly to say the least.
Nevertheless sometimes you have to demolish something in order to build it better.
I was discussing divorce with a Sister & she was contemplating her options and I put it to her plainly:
a) Do you love him?
b) Do you want to live with him?
She answered both of them as a resounding “No”!
Self-sacrifice can only carry us so far, there comes a point where we have to face realities of life or our very being will be ripped apart; and we will be no more (as we know it).
I have seen Brothers/Sisters lose their Islam due to reaching their absolute breaking point.
We were taught in our Military training to know YOUR and YOUR ENEMY’S breaking point.
Dear Respected Sister in Islam,
1) Do you know your breaking point?
2) How far are you from reaching it?
Only Safa can tell because no one knows her better.
All I can do is to salute your courage, your steadfastness and your sheer bloody-minded doggedness in the face of extreme circumstances and make dua for you and your children to Allah (SWT) that things turn out the best for you and them (Ameen).
And Allah (SWT) always responds.
You have my deepest respect and duas.
If there is anything this brother of yours can do for you, don’t forget to ask, Insha’Allah.
7:10 AM
Alsalam Alaikum Safa:
Im a NYC sis, 26 years old arab, and I stumbled upon your blog. Sufficed to say, it is quite addictive. Mashallah sister, you are STRONG> Upon reading this, something kept coming in my head that I REALLY want to share with you. Is there an e-mail that I can reach you thus it can be confidential?
2:18 PM
Thanks CNCZ...u know? I never thought about what she must have told her family?? I doubt she ever mentioned him already being married.....makes me wonder tho.....
Tks Colonel....
Tks Aeryn, Cherie.....everyone...
Anon.......you can go ahead and send me ur email, and I'll get back to you...I won't publish the comment.....
2:04 AM
I luv u Safa. Not 1 day goes by that I don't make dua 4 u.
3:33 AM
asalamualiakum,
i am glad to have found your blog.i hope you will be strong and i believe Allah sometimes show his mercifulness in the most unexpected ways.
8:08 AM
Cherie, I think you misread my comment. This is it in full:
"Guarded happy might have to be your existence until, over what I would expect to be a good amount of time, hubby shows that his word will be honoured and that he can be trusted."
Remove the centre clause and you have "Guarded happy might have to be your existence until hubby shows that his word will be honoured and that he can be trusted." I don't think he's done this so far, but it's possible that he sees Safa at the aforementioned breaking point, and perhaps he's a little scared. As he should be.
8:16 AM
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