Here I am....
I've been vacationing in Alex. I met up with Egianqueen. Lots to say...but no time now......here's 2 points tho....
*still considering joining a nunnery
*MM has been texting me (and I REALLY don't like her!!!)
posted by Safa at 4:07 AM
19 Comments:
Salam alaikoum Safa
Were they nice texts, or were they all Frenchy-nice-but-double-meaning? El mouhim lol Moroccans are special like that subhan Allah :)
4:24 AM
Asslamo Allaikum Sister,
Its very simple.
In solving a problem, you have two sets of challenges:
1) Things you can control, manipulate change and manage
2) Things you can’t
Lately your posts are more about 2 and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about them!
Spend your time constructively and worry about 1. YOU & YOUR KIDS come first and everything else is a distraction!
Have a firm & polite conversation with the dude (your other-half as I am loathe to calling him better-half) and GET ON WITH yours & the Kid’s life.
If Divorce is inevitable then sort out your immigration and passport issues and get crackin!
If your husband comes after a while & you two are sleeping in two different beds THEN you two have MAJOR issues.
Sudden death is better then drib drab!
Simple!
5:19 AM
WhAT? Why on Earth would that harridan text you? Whas the deal, Safa? I hope you're doing well. Just ignore anything that might disturb you. You're gonna make it through, baby! *hugs*
7:01 AM
Safa, does your husband know she's texting you?
Good grief, just kick all their asses!
7:02 AM
Hey! Ana Maghribiya! I take offense (sort of), Moroccan ladies are notorious for their attitudes. Just remember we're not ALL like that. :)
7:23 AM
2 of them were in french...I did the online translation thingy....I understood the gist of them that way....but who knows CNCZ?
I started the text messaging cuz she was texting the hubster too much...so I sent a message that said..."Please stop texting because the HUBBY has children and you are upsetting them".....so she texts me back....I am texting to my love, not to you. YOUR children should understand that I have rights and get used to it"...
It got worse from there. I ended up sending her 5 texts in total. The last one....
"When you hurt the husbands children you hurt the husband. Be smart. You have no children."
JEEZ! I hated myself for that last line.....and I still do. Hubby came home and asked me for my cell phone. I told him why do you want it? He says he wants to look at it. So I says...I don't know where it is. He didn't say anything else.
It looks like tonight.
7:51 AM
OUCH - she is texting to her love - OMG - that must have really felt like a sucker punch - especially after all you have been told. I am sorry that she is so insensitive - wonder how she would react if you were texting him all the time while they were together. Remember where I am - always in your corner and never that far away.
10:15 AM
Well, Safa, i have a friend, whose husband is doing the same.
but....the guy is a kafir!!!
basically i can tell u what i told her: kick him out or bear the consequences of living a looser. im sorry, im harsh now, but thats it.
If he stopped loving u (and seems like he did, sorry, safa, really, but a man who loves is definitely not like this), then think: is it k to live like this, afterall u r financially well off, villa, etc, kids safe and sound but MM IS IN HIS HEART AND CLEARLY SHE RULES HIM or u give urself a secnd chance, "van banque", as Frenchs say, hehe, and get out from this situation.
from this moment on, i keep my anger towards him of course, but i dont really wanna feel sorry anymore for u, Safa. U gotta be strong and then u will deserve respect.
be strong and make up ur mind; either way, inshalah u will get the best.
12:43 PM
Texting her love...give me her number I am gonna text her and see if she can text her love with her phone in her butt.....Safa I am so sad for you. I want to do something I wonder if we could organize a womans group to drive up to Canada and protest in front of his store...if we get a big enough group we could rent a bus and half of us could be at the store and the other half could be in front of her apartment and if they try to escape we will follow them like the paparazzi....
1:33 PM
Just delete those messages from our outbox sis ;)
3:17 PM
That's so insensitive, unnecessary and well... mean. This woman lacks humanity. And maybe your husband, too.
3:21 PM
Salamu alaykum,
Well texting is less obtrusive then phone calls and similar to emails as you won't necessarily know that he's getting them unless of course you're around him 24/7!
As for the kids well he does have 2 wives and it doesn't sound like he's trying to get rid of her to me but Allah knows best. I think he needs to be honest with himself and you and MM. He can't say oh he's getting rid of her and then tell her 'my love' I'll be back in a few days! Sometimes when co-wives don't speak it gives the husband a chance to pull a lot of stuff that he wouldn't normally get away with. I would ask her 'oh I heard he'll be back in Canada to take care of some business...and see what she says!
3:37 PM
Safa, she's evil...and maybe your hubby just deserves that type of person.
I'm so pissed off at them both after reading all this.
You have to just be dead inside dealing with all this shiat for so long.
And now, he wants to go back??? She has her claws deep in him. She's thrown such a huge fit that he's now running back to keep her from leaving too.
I don't see how you put up with it, honey.
I wish I were close enough to give you a hug atleast.
I'm sorry they both are big monkey butts.
8:19 PM
it's interesting that she mentions that she has rights and you all need to get used to it when all this time she is using up her rights and yours.
i have to say that i don't really blame her. I blame your husband more because he lets her get away with it. he lets her continually do things to you and your children that I'm sure he wouldn't let you do to her. A man in polygyny has to have full control of the situation in order to prevent or at least AT LEAST minimize bad behavior between his wives.
and about the "vow of chastity" that's been going on between the two of you. maybe he's waiting for you to initiate. maybe you're waiting for him. it's never going to happen if you're in separate beds. if you want something safa go for it. whether it be time, rights, divorce or heck..even some lovin. if you really want it/need it/got to have it GO FOR IT!
I've joined the nunner too since my husband has been deported and I definitely know how you're feelin. IT SUCKS big time :)
take care of you and those children my dear safa. i'm thinking of you.
and to all those who continually comment " i can't wait to hear more" or "it's like a soap opera"
remember this isn't a soap opera. this is safa's life. there is a person on the other side of the computer behind all the words, all the hurt, and all the pain. and although i can get caught in the "drama" i have to remember that to her it isn't drama and as sad as it may be it's REAL.
11:25 PM
Walla, Im still shaking anytime Im reading these...How dares she???? and how dare your husband does not repripmand her, when she talks about the children LIKE THIS???
My husband is from the Gulf, where many people practice polygamy still and i can say, the husband might be unfair sometimes or even careless, but the children are always untouchables and their needs are always met...! Woe to any co-wife who doesn't respect them...!!!
1:46 AM
You know...I have not told my husband about the text messages. But he does know....she told him. She sent him two texts yesterday after my LAST text to her....the first one says...
"It's too much, please call me"
And he DID call her 20 mins later. This is probably when he came home asking for my cell phone....the 2nd message said...
"I'm having a big problem with my family now because of the messages. I don't know what I'm going to do"
He didn't call her back.
~~~~
I sure as hell am not going to spend the rest of my life fighting for respect. Hubby did NOT ask me about the messages....and neither have we said more than 5 words to each other since yesterday......
3:24 AM
I dont know why this mud duck would text you back at all but I know I would stomp a hole in her face if she ever text me a reply like that. I would tell my husband as well to make his damn mind up right then and now because after those comments I don't know what it would take for you to say to hell with this home wrecking woman and your husband who seems to operate on his needs 1st, then the buisness and then the family. In my house my husbands priorities are as follows: Kids, Me and the HIM and it is the same with me and this is how it should be. No marraige can last with a spouse who thinks about his happiness 1st over his family. His every action screams hi'll fit you in when ever he damn well feels like it. Honestlt, when husbands actt this nasty I don't even want him to touch me. I'd go home to Canada with him for those 20 days or we would be getting a divorce and that would be his only option. I would tell him to make sure you divorce me before you leave then because I have no inttention of playing around with you and sitting by the phone awaiting the return. Men only respect you when you start treating them the way other MEN treat MEN. My husband told me that a long time ago. That the whining and crying really doesn't have much effect on them but when you harden yourself for battle and set the terms and don't bend that is when the are listening loud and clear. This circle will never end for you because he doesn't respect you. You're a punk to him and the MM has more spunk than you and doesn't tolerate so much of his BS which is why she gets more time.
You should be burning his ear off EVERYDAY he is there. He should openly see and feel your pisstivity at the highest levels. Allowing silence is exsactly the way he prefers it. He is praying you barly say nothing and top toe around him. Don't give him this benefit, he certainly doesn't deserve it and you need solid answers NOW. not when or IF he comes back in 20 days.
11:26 AM
SubhanAllah! You know Hijab....I wish I'd have gotten this comment 3 days ago.....but you know what?? Ur SPOT on.....the silence prolly aggravates him....but I'm sue he prefers it over talking.....DARN!
11:29 AM
Dear Safa,
I am going to stand out in this crowd because I do not agree with you, Safa. She has every right to text him and in her mind he is her love. The same is true of you when he is with her. I would not appreciate it at all if my husband's other wife sent me a message asking me to leave my husband alone -- kids or no kids. Personally, I don't think it is right to use the children as the reason she should leave him alone. They -- like you -- need to learn to deal with polygyny, and that means you share your husband and father. It's ugly, I know, but this is how Islam has always been interpreted. By that I mean no woman has rights over a Muslim man and he is within his rights to marry up to 4 women and have children with each.
If you can't deal with it then there is always divorce -- and believe me I know this is a hard option.
Polygyny sucks. I know it does because I hate it too. But what disturbs me is that you and most of your supporters make it seem as if MM is the bug problem and has no rights in regard to her marriage. Your husband is the problem and he will continue to be as long as he can call the shots like he is.
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
2:39 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home