buying of needless things........

Where to start?? How about with Alhamdulillah?? Yes...that's a good place.......

Alhamdulillah. Say it with me okay? Out loud.....if ur at work...just whisper it....say it again...

Alhamdulillah.

Good. Okay....well I was going to tell you about the SIL conversation, right? Here's the short version. She called me and told me to stop acting silly and get the relationship back on track. So I says to her....but what has changed? And she's like....never mind tomorrow...leave it to Allah....but for your kids sake.....go back to your husband! And then I repeated myself again....but what has changed? Am I going to go back to him while things are exactly the same? Hasn't my husband shaken the heavens at least 4 times now, as far as I know? Am I really going to go back to him and perhaps have him divorce me a 2nd time? Now that I've been divorced...lets gather something out of it.

Well, it's wasted on her. And she says....Are you relieved? And I said yes....SO U WANT TO BE DIVORCED THEN. Accusing, mean.....sigh. I just stepped back a pace or two and said.....I can't go back to him unless I believe him, i see something different. And let her go.....

I make sense tho, right? Why would I go back if he hasn't changed anything?? What has he offered me? He doesn't say he'll close the business in Cda.....his brother says that over and over while TCF sits silently. And I know in his mind he's desperately trying to work out how to keep both wives. In fact....before the divorce, I asked him about his apt.....why has he kept it? (he's been telling us he has an extension on his tickets for 1 yr).....so I says....why would you pay rent on an apt for 1 yr if it's to remain empty? That's about $6,000 Cdn dollars.....$30,000 EGYPTIAN.....why?? He says it's for when he goes back. But I know the truth of it.....

MM has signed her kids back to her husband.....she no longer receives welfare in the same amount......
MM had to give up her apt....it was govt housing, so after she signed over the kids, she must have lost it.....

TCF was going on about going to Cda once every 3 mos and staying for only 1 mos. Even his brother was swearing to Allah that this was TCF plan. Ya.....reverse polygyny?? Planning to offer the same unfair terms to the other wife, I say. No problem. But there is the matter of me not wanting to be a P wife anymore.....so this complicates it a bit.

And you know what I think in my mind?? If she's given up her kids......and she's in Morocco with her family right now.....why is she going back to Cda??? She can't work....she doesn't speak English...and she speaks weird french, so that doesn't help her even.....but well....she does have the support of a silly man....yes...one that she loves.....good enough.

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Well something good happened yesterday.....alhamdulillah! (did u say it with me?) The woman that I converted to Islam with called me. Just out of the blue....subhanALLAH!!! I converted to islam with her guidance when I was just 17 yrs old.......an egyptian lady. It was even her who helped to arrange my marriage. When I was in Cda, I discussed the situation with her. And there she was calling me yesterday.....subhanAllah!!

Anyways...I told her of the developments...the divorce.....and she was shocked. More shocked that he was still married too. She said to me...

"Listen Safa...I want you to enjoy your life. You've been a strong woman....and it wouldn't make any sense to go back to TCF without getting something out of this....remain firm for now"

SubhanAllah, I love her. She also took the phone numbers for BIL and for TCF....she's going to be calling them, insha Allah.

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The DR's. The 10 yr old is sick. She's had a fever off and on for 3 days. And the baby hasn't been pooing regularly since hes' been born. So yesterday I was informed that we were taking the kids to this DR in Cairo. I had 15 mins to get ready. I sat quietly in the car holding the baby....the 10 yr old in the backseat. I didn't say a word. Hubby was driving in a manner that he knows upsets me. But I sat stiffly. At one point he got the car up to 140....which he knows almost makes me pee myself. But I just closed my eyes and said Ayat al Kursi over in my brain........if I die this night, Allah.....make me a shaheed.

Alhamdulillah.....we arrived. I met some women in the waiting room.....they actually had 2 waiting rooms.....one for nursing women who want privacy, and another room. I left hubby and went to sit in the nursing room. 3 lovely women discussed Egypt, Islam and the price of tomatoes with me. HAHA! One woman talked a lot. I mean talked ALOT! So at one point I asked her how old she was.....she told me to guess. So I looked at her and said...22? She was shocked.....RIGHT ON!! LOL!! So this other woman says...okay...guess how old I am? I say...31?? RIGHT ON AGAIN! LOLOL!! This other woman was looking at me....but I was hoping she wouldn't ask me.....I wouldn't want to look bad after looking SOOOOO GOOOOD!!! HAHA!

Anyhoo....10 yr old just has a bad cold....but the baby has laryngitis. That's why his voice is so low.....and here I was thinking he was too much of a man to cry loud!! On the way home, Hubby stops and buys ful sandwiches. Oh ya....DINE ME. He offered me one, which I took.....but I refused the 2nd one. He bought himself a pop and asked me if I'd like one....I just took water. Water was good.

Sigh. But then he drove 140 going home again.

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Got home. He went to bed. I gave everyone their meds and then went to mine. So the night passed. This morning he got up and left. Downstairs to shower and eat. I washed some laundry and hung it up......

I can't tell you how strange it is to look down at SIL's balcony and see TCF's clothes hanging there.

OH....did I tell u about the undershirts and underwear? HAHA!! Well, he asked his daughter to get it outta the closet cuz he wanted to shower. She told him...u took ur stuff downstairs. OH! So he goes down....searches thru his bags...(according to SIL).....and then in frustration takes his nephew out with him to buy some new ones. Doesn't having a wife just make these things so much easier???

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BABY BC......I will approach TCF about it. If worse comes to worse, I have a plan. I opened the paypal.........it's under my email of surah2362@yahoo.com . JazaakAllahu khairan for the support and love I"m feeling in here.......