Marineland was fun.....

We took the kids to Marineland for the day. The girls all had lots of fun. I actually went on that Sky Screamer ride......won't be that stupid twice, my friends. The girls made their father get on it with them......LOLOLOL!!! Literally dragging him over to the line. Anyways.....we packed a cold lunch, but I made fried cauliflower and brought it along. Hubby has said that he doesn't want me cooking here in Canada and everyday we have been eating out, ordering pizza or making do with sandwiches. Kinda tired of it, tho. So the couple times we've been picnicing...I've been bringing some things that I've made....it feels better to me, u know? Last time, I brought baby carrots and blue cheese dip and made a tuna salad.

We went to the falls afterwards, got sprayed by all the mist and had a nice walk around. We were all dead by the time we got back to the car.

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So I was going to share something that happened with hubby on the day we came back from Mom's.

I started off by saying to him,

"Honey? Is there anything special that you've been thinking about doing before we leave??

"Like what? Is there something else the kids want to do?"
and I'm like,
"no.....but I was wondering if you had something else planned?
"nope."

Hmmmmmmm.......so then he looks at me strange, so I give it up and I say....

Well, I was wondering if you were going to do something with me by myself, you know? Some quality time.

To which he answers vaguely....
Yeah, I had something in mind.

End of discussion.

So that was on my first night with him after Mom's......yesterday we went to Marineland.....and while we were at Marineland, he tells me that we've been invited to dinner at a friends house.....so that makes 3 days. Tomorrow he's at her house. He's cutting it pretty short if he's planning to go out with me. I see another, "too little too late" scenario coming on. Or maybe I'm still supposed to be tinkled pink about the dozen roses he brought me. (Then a few hours later he informed me that he's going to MM's place.) Sheesh.

I suppose that before he can get his surprise together I'll be having a better surprise for him.

(BTW, while I sit typing this, MM just called on the cell phone and hung up in my face again. That makes 4 times) GRRRRRR!!!!

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Today my 11 yr old asked me if I want to meet my co-wife. SubhanAllah, when I read some of your BLOG's....particularly Muslim Mommie, I wonder why I don't feel this need to meet her? I really have no such inclination. Masha Allah, Muslim Mommie has called her, sent her cards...the spaghetti.....masha Allah. I suppose that deep down inside me, I don't want to put in the emotional commitment. I don't want to get to know her. In some ways...she scares me. I mean, the crank calls are just about enough. MAN! So do I want to meet her? No.

End of discussion.

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It's been a horrible couple of days here....while I lay thinking about how to break things to my husband...possible reaction...what to do. Last couple of nights, I've woken up and prayed Qiyaam al Layl.....today I was up at 3:30 am and couldn't sleep till 6:30am. I'm so worried. About what, you ask? Well, it's just that I've been thinking about how VERY disappointed I am in him. How I'm confused at his behaviour.......how I expected so much more. And I would HATE, I mean HATE to disappoint him in me. I just want to remember that night, talking to him about fairness, and him looking into the depths of my eyes forever. I wish that we could be old with grey hair, sharing that same love.....and have him look at me and mirror the way I feel about him. (he's got a headstart on the grey hair!!) Sometimes maturity puts you in a position where you just have to go ahead and do what you have to do.

I pray that Allah makes it easy for me.