and more and more....bear with me......
**So ex hubby of MM denies uttering the threat...okay, fine. Nothing I can do about that....but at least the ex hubby sees that I mean business and I'm not going to be a victim in his games. (cuz he's playing them)
*so hubby comes home in the morning....he hugs me and says that he loves me. It makes me feel good, not better but good. He forgot again to bring the present that I brought for her....DARN! But I'll make sure she gets it next time. (I brought her an Isdaal for the prayer and a niqaab!!!)
*We bring the kids to a kids play place called Chuckee Cheese...she calls the minute we get in the car.....and the minute we arrive back home. GRRRRR!! She's calling all the time....it's driving me nuts......and as far as I hear....she's going nuts now too.....I'll tell you all how...but the library is gonna cut me off.....
posted by Safa at 2:28 PM
7 Comments:
She will never figure out how to wear the niqab...come on she forgets when she pees on a stick and thinks its a cookie...you really think she will figure out how to tie or snap something behind her head? Yeah thats complicated. I think you remember my story about the phone calls...all I have to stay is that I am sorry...so very sorry.... call me if you get the chance.
2:49 PM
time, too, or worse has her kids call and then put her on the phone. I refuse to sink to that level and have NEVER called him during her time. If I need him for something important, I send a message to call ASAP. I wait for him to call me and have told him not to ever do it in their house where they might walk in and feel hurt or jealous.
Her calling is a sign of her insecurity which means she doesn't feel loved enough. I guess I was fortunate that I always knew my hubby loved me -- although at times I have wondered if it was enough.
I think if your hubby is going to try to keep this marriage he MUST deal with her insecurity so it doesn't burden your relationship. You will need to speak frankly with him and insha'Allah keep your cool.
Salaam Alaikum dear,
PM
2:50 PM
Oops! The first part of that post is missing:
My hubby's other wife used to call on my time, too....
2:52 PM
Asalamu Walaikum...
UR, how did you do that? The test was so vile, hurtful, vindictive, etc...and you freakin' made me CRACK UP! ..when she pees on a stick and thinks its a cookie...I see why Safa loves ya so much!
Subhannallah Safa, you are a lesson in patience...I can hear sisters all over the net ripping out there hairs and lashing out at their DHs over what you are going through and you have not indicated that you have conspired against yourself and commited any haram because of all this...Masha Allah.
I'm getting plenty of folks here are thinking what looks like a doormat is a....but I don't know...maybe there's something here we have not been able to transcend.
May Allah protect and perserve you, Ameen.
3:31 PM
as salaamu alaikum,
umm badier, when our mother, aisha raa, felt hurt by the prophet (saaws) during the time when people were slandering her name, she didn't pull out all the stops and act crazy, nor did she sit by idly. She asked for permission to go home to her father, abu bakr (raa) and she stayed there until Allah sent down that revelation clearing her name, alhamdulilah.
all that to get to that standing up for yourself and your rights is as much a part of Islam as bearing patience. Allah says He does not change a condition of a people, until they change that which is in themselves. if we offer dua for sakeena, but continually surround ourselves with fitna, we cannot then say our dua has not been answered because intention and action go together.
sisters, do not forget that our husbands are not jannah in itself. It is Allah's love that is the ultimate and for what we make sacrifices for. our husbands can be a means to help us seek Allah, but do not forget that they also have the ability to be a means to help us displease Allah as well if our union is one where we are assisting one another with maa3siyah to Allah.
safa, alhamdulilah that you made it home. wonderful news that you've seen your mother, alhamdulilah. MM is really testing you big time. that was really mean of her to leave that test there for you to see. may Allah reward you for your patience and increase you in good. keep you and those girls safe.
8:18 PM
Asalamalaykom,
Better to talk about the phone calls when it isn't the heat of the moment. Maybe even phrase it so that you want to know how YOU should reach him. What does he think is preferrable? Should you call him just to talk? No. Should you allow kids to call him any time? Depends. If it can wait until tomorrow, should I wait to call? Yes. OK, that's fine for me. Can you please see if MM wants to adhere to your ideas as well?
10:22 PM
As-salaamu Alaykum, Safa. I like HA's advice for approaching your husband about the constant phone calls, it annoying and rude.
5:52 AM
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