Lots of update......

I'm not the greatest housekeeper peoples. I don't know what it is....I like being organized....but usually, I just get things together when Hubby is coming to Egypt. I have a maid who comes twice a week there, and she takes care of the cleaning. When we move into the villa, I'll have a live in couple.....they already live there, in fact. Now hubby is an organized freak...so since I've been in Canada, I've been cleaning out TONS of garbage. I'm shocked. WTH was MM doing if his house is this filthy? I mean, the girls and I CLEANED! So since I've been here, I've been working really hard on keeping things just the way hubby likes it. And it's been giong great. I've been ironing again.....SHEESH! (In Egypt, it all goes to the ironing guy)....and MM was kind enough to send hubby home with a bag of clean clothes, and a pair of pants inside, not ironed. Now I calmly told hubby that someone other than me might be upset by those pants. They could easily think that she ain't taking good care of him. How on earth could she send him home with a pair of un ironed pants?? I'd never do that. And I'd never send them to my co wife with 4 kids, while I just sit around on my ass all day. So I pointed it out.....and told him, that maybe she shouldn't send his clothes home to me anyways...what the heck is he gonna wear when he's there??

Well, back to the house.....so before I left for Mom's, we totally tidied up the house....it sparkles.....he should be so pleased. We stopped by Hubbies' work on the way out.....and he talked to the kids for a bit...and then sent them out to the car and asked me if I wanted to say anything to him. I said no....cuz I didn't wanna cry and I don't wanna say something to upset him. He pushed....and that's not good. So I says to him....why do you want me to say something? And he's like, "I wanna make you happy." "How can I make you happy?"

So here's where I screwed up....I says quickly, "How about divorcing her and coming back to Egypt with us??" I hate myself sometimes.

So he sorta gets mildly upset and says..."How am I supposed to do that now??" And I just sorta stood shocked at myself...and I says....I gotta go, ok? I don't wanna cry. So he says okay. And I go get in the car....back out while he's standing there.....and didn't dare myself to look at him.

I called him when I arrived at Mom's and told him that we were all fine and then I said, "Are you mad at me? Cuz if you are, I'm sorry, sometimes my tongue is faster than my brain" He told me he could never be mad at me.

Mom and I and the kids and my Bro went out to the laundramat and washed laundry. We had a nice time being together doing domestic stuff...LOLOLOL......and when we got home, I called him at 8pm. He works till 9. And funny enough....I get the answering machine. So this morning I asked him what time he left work....seems like he left 7:45pm. That's different. He didn't call me until 11:30 am either, so he went to work late as well. It bugs me.

Tomorrow we are all going to Marineland....that should be fun. We are looking forward to it. I pray, I pray, that MM isn't going to call us on that day. I need the time to myself.

Now more about me staying........

I was reading in one of your BLOGS about the path to Jennah....how that we know about the hadith that if Allah would allow a human to bow to another, that it would be a woman bowing to her hubby, right? So is my raising the kids in Egypt away from my hubby really helping me along? Helping him along?? Right now he's in a bunch of BS....I mean, you guys HAVE NO IDEA, ok?? I see that he needs us. #1 to stand by him. # 2 to be able to HELP him # 3 To hurry him up

Now I need him for other reasons......#1 to guarantee his fairness with me #2 to avoid MM taking more advantage of the solitude #3 to keep an eye on things

Am I in my rights to demand that I stay here?? Right now, as it looks...he still has another year....I can't do it....or rather, I don't want to. I want to be beside my husband, even if it means sharing him. But lying in my bed in Egypt, knowing that I am deprived of this physical comfort when he's goint thru lots of SHIT is killing me, too. Besides that....MM doesn't speak english. Or rather, very limited...she speaks french and arabic......she ain't helping him with anything. IN fact, she can't even help herself....she's one of those NEEDY individuals, and it's a strain on my hubby.

Our entire marriage, Hubby has been happiest when he's around his children....being away from us is killing him as well. Don't you think that doing it for 5 yrs is enough of a sacrifice?? And that for me saying...>WHOA BABY.....I don't see me going back while u are in the middle of all this shit. ????? Are you all with me?? I say...what's one school year?? What if I homeschool? Maybe send my 9 yr old to public school....I don't know?? But this crap ain't gonna stop in 6 mos......yes he's working his way towards coming back to Egypt...of that I'm sure.....but, there are things that may stall him......probably will stall him....want to stall him. So I gotta take the cards in my own hand and tell hubby somehow. It weighs heavy on my mind. And I am short of time.

Now about MM......I talked to him again about her getting the needle......I wish they'd just get it over with......what a bunch of BS. Now look at this....she has her own apt...and even tho they were living together, she never gave it up......so that's where she is. Oh yeah, and she's pissed about it...telling him....if I had no place to go, would you send me to the street? I hate him having to deal with immaturity like that. So she's there, she doesn't speak english, and has a french lawyer helping her to try and get her kids. The court gave her supervised visits and she turned it down. Saying she doesn't want to see her kids with supervision....her lawyer advised her to turn it down. I think that's stupid.....I think that if my kids were gone, I'd see them from across a glass window if I had to......who cares if the visits are supervised??? Her ex has these kids saying a bunch of BS against their mom......but as far as I understand......the courts are THISCLOSE to giving them back to her.

I asked hubby what she thought about going back to Egypt? I mean.....if it should happen that she doesn't get her kids....will she leave the country with him?? I wouldn't.....but maybe she would? I don't know. When I spoke to her on the phone about 5 mos ago....I asked her what she thought about moving to Egypt. ANd she answered....(in arabic)....Well, if Canada or if Morroco or even if Egypt...I don't mind. Weird way to answer, don't ya think?? Seems like Egypt is on the last of the list. WHich reminds me of what Peacefulmuslimah said about her not realizing what she was getting in to. You hit it DOT ON!