Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Seems like we are all a little nuts......

Okay peoples. Since last post, I came to a few conclusions. Namely....there's something going on here. I don't know what it is....but I feel there is some sort of underlying stress elevator attached to my hubby. I pray, that I find out what it is. Insha Allah.

Here's what's been happening.

He didn't sleep Sunday night....he woke up 2x and I got up right along with him. I got out some grapes and cut some cheese....(he likes that together)...and I again, approached the subject. I asked him, CALMLY.....what exactly is the problem with us staying. I asked him, lets reason it out. To which again, he was a closed door. He claimed that I only see things through a little peephole. I told him, then make me understand. He said I would never understand. I told him that with patience, I would. So I went on about how I just want to stay a couple of weeks extra. That I didn't have my fill of my mom.....and that since I prolly will never be coming back to Canada, that I need more time to say goodbyes. He told me, "Who said you'll never come back here??" I answered him,,,"Well you did, dear." He was quiet. So then he says, Thank you very much. Everyone told me to be careful when I bring you here. Everyone told me that this might happen. And I'm like....what happened? I'm asking you to stay two weeks, whats the big deal? What's going on?? Is there something else going on right now??? No answer.

I told him, if you are worried about the kids, then I expect you to say that from now on, we don't leave them alone......if it's something else, I expect you to talk, so we can discuss ways to avoid any difficulties. But I don't expect you to close on me and just say, NO!

He got all quiet....pursed his lips and then turned to me, with a look to scare death and says to me....

"I want to tell you something. I have two more wives and I've been hiding them from you."

I just looked right back at him and said, "I don't believe that."

Then he got up and walked outta the kitchen and told me that he's going nuts.

End of that conversation.

So Monday should have been spent packing, doing laundry...you name it. I told him that I had to wash laundry. And he's like...."lets go for a BBQ instead". I says, okay. And he goes off to work to drop in and then get things ready. He left at 1 pm. We get all ready and wait for him....and wait....and wait.

Finally, I call him at work to find out what's taking him so long....it's 4pm!! And his substitute worker answers and says that my hubby hasn't come in today. SHEESH! He's over at MM's house. And we are all sitting here waiting for him!! So when he calls us at 4:30pm from work...I ask him where he was...he says he had stuff to do....and I'm like....that's fine...but we are sitting here, AGAIN, worried about you. Why can't you just tell me where you are going??? So he's like...I'M FINE! So the kids say, we want to go out for chinese food instead of BBQ. He says he'll be home in about 15.

He gets home and we go out for dinner. We drive to another city.....no talking in the car. Hubby is sorta cold to me. But at the restaurant he changes. He takes my hand to lead me up to the buffet. He picks his food with me. He waits for me to finish my plate, so we can go again. He asks me to go wash my hands with him....all nice and loving. We are enjoying ourselves and talking freely. Then MM calls on the cell phone. Seems like she's sick. He's telling her on the phone to call an ambulance and go to the hospital. (in arabic) And telling her to call her friend. When the kids all go up to the buffet again, I ask him whats wrong with her. She's got severe stomach cramps. I asked him if she's late for her period or something....he doesn't know. Crap. But I just let it go.....I got bigger things in mind to talk about.

So after dinner, the kids tell their father that they want to go play at the park in the dark. (My kids love that!) So he says okay and we drive back home and go to the park beside the house. The kids get outta the car running, and he sorta dawdles. Me too. So then he says to me....So....are we leaving tomorrow? And I says....what do you think? ANd he's like...well, I'm asking. So I says....I'm going to extend the tickets for two weeks. Just flat out, calm....it's what I'm doing, u know?? So then he says, okay fine. And continues walking to the kids...then he turns around and says....whatever happens...if ur tickets get screwed up....u can find your own way back to Egypt. And I say to him, Oh I'm going back there, I love Egypt. And he's like....you understand? And I say, okay.

And that's that. Where's all that anger now? Nice and calm....easy breezy.

So then he stands and pushes the girls on the swings all of 2 mins and then he says to me....I'm going to go drop into work and be right back. (His work is 5 mins away...and closes at 9pm) So I says to him, "what time is it?" and he says 8:30pm. So I says, okay....see you in a bit.

He comes back at 10:30pm. I didn't even say anything....I'm steaming...you know where he ran to. I know she's sick....but WHY CAN"T HE JUST SAY THAT HE"S GOING THERE?????

He comes back, takes us right home....and we go to bed. He puts the pillow between us. I understand. He's mad at me.

But then this morning...I called Egypt Air....I was able to extend the tickets till the 14th..WOW! He wakes up happy. Talking....completely relieved. Just like Mohammed said. This is what I was expecting from him. And I'm a little eerie of what's going on. So he says to the 11yr old....u wanna go with me this morning?? And she's like...where?? And he says, I've got stuff to do.....and we'll take the 3 yr old with us too. So she says, sure!! And runs off to get ready....

So I ask him...where are you going? Lawyer, store...gonna drop MM off at the DR.....blah blah blah.....

Wait a sec, here! Ur taking them with you to bring MM to the DR? R u sure?? And he's like....let things just happen naturally, Safa.....take it easy. I try and deny him to take the 3 yr old.....no good. So he took them with him.

I'm a little nervous....but at the same time, I understand they are his kids too. Now at least, I've got more time to see what the heck is really going on here. (And maybe find out who the other 2 wives are!!) LOLOLOLOL!!!!!

I told Hubby to watch the kids when he's with MM......

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know my feelings cuz I already told you I am just not going to comment on here. But goober you posted the same thing twice. Its the whole library thing.....

1:21 PM

 
Blogger UmmBadier said...

Asalamu Walaikum,
I used to work across the street from an adult bookstore. During the lunch hour they would get a rush of well dressed suitmen going in to be serviced by young street boys in the back rooms. They had regulars. Of course, if you saw these guys at Barnes and Ns or someplace you would never suspect that they were nasty freaks...prolly many of their wives or partners didn't suspect either.
You've seen these kind of guys on talk shows and whatnot...They always seam to have the ideal wife and family tucked safely away in the subburbs whilst they live out their sickness...and then they just don't have the energy or whatever to keep it up and suddenly years of deception are revealed...and the wife is blindsided.

3:25 PM

 
Blogger Susan said...

What the...why did he say he had two more wives? Is it possible, since he's absolutely freaking out, that this is true?

I would think that if he is heading towards divorce and that seems imminent, that it would be better to return to Egypt. I think he would back down on the threats,and it would allow you to continue living your life, providing for your kids as you have been doing...it would just mean that you didn't have much of a marriage. Ideal? Hardly, but I'm just thinking about the best way to ensure that you and your kids are provided for. Saying all of that, is it possible that he's chemically imbalanced?

UmmBadier, are you suggesting that hubby is visiting these adult shops, or are you drawing a parallel between the hidden lives of closet homosexuals and the hidden lives of closet polygamists?

5:37 PM

 
Blogger UmmBadier said...

Cairogal,
The latter...it was thought out...in my head! What I'm saying is, you never fully know anyone and some people are capable of things so beyond our imagination. From the far away and outside, it's easy to say oh yeah, he does have more wives and a string of ex-wives...or, no he is just playing with your head...but Allahualim!
Safa,
I been thinking about our comments and I wonder if at this point, do they help or do they make your head spin? Inshallah they do comfort you, but are they helping?
At first I thought it was great to hear from a brother on here and then realised he has his own agenda just like the rest of us.
Inshallah, you can get some really good proper advise...your situation sounds like it needs it.
Are his brothers of any comfort/help to you?
Uff and leaving us knowing that 1/2 the girls are with him and MM...what a freakin' cliff hanger!!!
May Allah make your rankings high, ameen.

6:03 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Asalamalaykom Sister,

You talked once of going to see a sheik while in Canada. I think now would be a good time. This has layers and layers which are hard for all of us to analyze second hand. But, the sheik, enshahallah will go for the quick route to truth with you and with your husband.

Please consider using your time wisely in these two extra weeks you've got. They are precious time for you to get clear.

All of us want so much to hear, from you but as UmmBadier points out, is it helping you? Really, I am thinking of her comments when I say that a learned sheik would be more helpful than all of us put together.

May Allah make it easy.

6:25 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

musulmana you got too much spare time on your hands...all the math...I am sure she is not pregnant just crazy.

6:30 PM

 
Blogger Relief said...

Salamu alaykum,

I don't think MM is pregnant either. Primarily because I know she's vindictive and wouldn't be able to resist sticking it to Safa by calling her up and saying 'Hey guess what I'm pregnant', she'd probably live for that moment as it does tend to cause a bit of an upheaval in the polygamous life.

10:35 AM

 
Blogger Muhammad said...

AsSalaamu A'laikum

Good point Relief

UmmBadier I don't believe I have an agenda, It is not like I'm trying to pick up on the sister or anything. I've got 6.5 kids and I don't really see how picking up 3? more is going to help me out right now.

I just have some experience and am relaying on what I've seen and what I know from a male perspective.

9:15 AM

 

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