strings.......

In the middle of my sleepless night yesterday..........I hear my 13 yr old daughter screaming.....she's yelling something. I can't make out the words....but I rouse myself from my bed (floor).....and go to her. When I make it to her room, she's asleep. I ask her softly....."are you okay, honey?" She tells me sleepily that she's fine. With a big sigh....I leave her room to go back to my bed and feel sad about how troubled she is. This isn't good.

Before she goes out the door for school this morning I whisper in her ear that what she told me the night before I've kept between us. She smiles at me when I tell her this. She probably expected me to tell her Grandmother. But I didn't.

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What a busy day today!! I finally had enough money to go buy bunkbeds....(JazaakAllahu Khairan!!) So I go over to this store to order them and pay $337.00.......they don't have them in stock, so they'll be delivered some time next week. When I make it home, my cell phone rings......I had emailed an ad on Craigs List on Thursday about another set of bunkbeds.....no one replied......but here is the woman on the phone asking if I'm interested.....she only wants $110. She lives around the corner....WOW! I tell her let me call you back. I called the store and they agree to give me back my money.....so I drive over to the woman....buy her bunkbeds and then drive back to the store to get my money. Ya Rab! See how Allah provides?? How many times have I found myself in this situation? So the bunkbeds are now set up in my home, and my children are asleep on them.......alhamdulillah........Allah has been so generous.....Allahu Akbar!

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I get home and then take my 13 yr old out with me. I have to go to the food bank and she wants to see it. Some really good things happened. One woman looked at my daughter and asked me politely if the children that I left at home are as beautiful as the one I had with me. I smilingly answered that none of them shine like this one. (and the 13 yr old beamed ear to ear and told the kind old lady that she made her day!) Then an older man told my daughter how impressed he was listening to her speak arabic and english. He told her that she had absolutely no accent in her english.......(made her day again!) What a great time to talk!! So we talked. First she told me about how she wanted to go with her dad...blah blah blah.

Then I clearly told her that I had absolutely no problem about her living with her Father in Canada, but not going to live in Egypt. I told her that the custody had to be worked out before I'd agree to her travelling. I told her that perhaps she could go this summer. We talked about a lot of little things.......one thing that she said to me was "How do you think Baba feels when he can't be around his son to watch him grow up?" I looked at her and said....."probably the same way he felt when he was here in Canada and he didn't see any of you grow up....particularly your 5 year old sister who used to call him Amu, remember?"

She told me that her father said he was going to spoil her in Egypt because she is the only one of his children that wants him. I asked her how she reacted.......and she said she got mad when he said that. And she told him that she likes Egypt better and wouldn't go with him because of being spoiled. (??)

I told her that her siblings have every right to being provided for by their father.....not just the ones that go to him. And then I just let the conversation go. No ending to it......I just let her think. Then at one point she says to me.......so maybe I'll just go for the summer, okay? And I looked at her and said......insha Allah, as long as the custody papers are done.

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There was much more said......but it was more about what I wanted for her as a person..... You know what? After the decision was put off.....she looked relieved. It's like a weight was lifted from her. And I didn't go back on my word with her. She CAN go live with her father.....but she isn't going to Egypt right now.

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Here is how I've been wrong....and I need to fix this..... I haven't spoken to the Hubbex since our last conversation when he yelled and screamed at me. But I think I may call the Sheikh and arrange a meeting now. I'm feeling that I'm up to it. I can just clearly say what I need.......and get these last strings dealt with. Maybe I'll do that this weekend......

Custody papers only have to be served on the hubbex. They are all in order.