my group of ragamuffins!
This morning burned so bright. I woke up and could see the sun poking in the window, and felt glorified in it! Oh Allah.....will I ever realize what a blessing the morning sun is? Where was I just 10 short months ago? Praying for sun in a wind blown country for my jaundiced baby. Standing in the balcony, watching it slowly rise........
And today? Watching it come through the window......peeking in at me to wake me up.....there is a promise in that peek, don't you know??
So I wake the kids up.....GET UP U RAGTAG GROUP! We are going to do something FUN!!! And we run downstairs to get breakfast......the others in the house are up, but we ignore them and I make the kids their food.....careful to bring some of the stuff back upstairs with me.
Then I get them all dressed up......3 sweaters, 2 socks, 2 pants....winter coats on the younger ones......the new boots that I got on clearance from Walmart.....mismatched scarves and mittens.....the 13 yr old has on a plain black coat from Goodwill.....but we haven't found a coat for the 15 yr old yet.....so she piles on heavy stuff.......
All padded up, and protected from all sorts of cold.....they march over to the park.......excited, in love, laughing, joking........the older sisters with twinkles in their eye.......the littlest one trying to eat the snow and not get caught......
We finally make it there.......and fun! WOW!! On the swings, down the slide....snow in the air, snow up your back, snow angels all over!!.......and the giggling contagious laughter that you can't help to join in with.........
Joyful abandon.
That's how I felt.
FULL.
of.
JOYFUL.
ABANDON.
And on the way home.....each one had their special time to walk beside Mama.....a happy free Mama with her hijaab blowing in the wind........that's ME!
And I turned my face to Allah and asked Allah for a promise of forever.
Please Allah?
I know I've been asking for a lot....but please, p-l-e-a-s-e let us just have this feeling forever?
And if forever is too long....then please.....just a little more. Truly you are bountiful Allah.
And as I turn my face back towards the earth.....the tears start to roll down my cheeks......I find the 4 yr old looking at me........."Are you crying, Mama?"
I pick her up and whirl her around......CRYING? WHO ME?
NOPE!!! I'm laughing my precious, precious darling.......!!! Right, girls?
And I look at them all for support......Aren't we all just laughing???
And for awhile.......we were.
posted by Safa at 2:13 PM
37 Comments:
seems i cant read anything you write anymore without crying, inshallah youll have it all forever. you sound so happy. i know its hard where you are but ya Allah it was harder dealing with all you had to put up with in egypt. they look JUBILANT!!! oh let them be happy. they were sad in egypt watching you suffer. i guess i have to say again.....im so proud of you.
3:58 PM
Asalaam alaikum sis,
Good, very good, alhumduhillah. I am happy that you are having moments like these. Isn't it rejuvinating? I am sooo happy for you that you've been able to share these moments with your brood, and yes, inshaAllah I hope Allah does let you feel that feeling more and more.
Keep strong ukhti, and keep those children of yours happy and protected, inshaAllah.
4:33 PM
Salaams Safa:
Alhamdulillah! It's beautiful to check in on you all and read that you continue to be so blessed!
6:20 PM
This is a new beginning for you all. I can feel it in my bones!
8:29 PM
So happy for you guys Safa!
8:58 PM
sounds like a nice day and I hope you ahev many more to come. I'm sure it is a big adjustment for them, but in the long run they will be just fine...you too!
I'm just curious, how are they dealing with the huge life changes? Especially the 11 year old who was so attatched to her baba. I think they will soon realize, if they haven't already, that this will be good for you all.
9:25 PM
Safa! I am so proud of you...the very best thing for your kids is to see their mama smiling, laughing and having fun. If they see that even when it is an uncertain time, this lesson will be with them forever and ever...and they will be better for it. And in the years to come, they will look back at this tumultous time with happiness as well. That is such a blessing!
9:31 PM
Safa, Oh wonderful sweet Safa, I am so happy for you and your family. And so joyful to read that you are smiling. Like I and others have told you before you are awesome, a true blessing for me to know you sis.
6:01 AM
It's the 13 yr old is super attached to Baba....and strangely enough....she's the only one who hasn't called him yet.....
6:28 AM
Asalamalaikum safa
I read this to with a tear in my eye .Mashallah safa if you can live for each moment and take it for what it is , your there .And you've shown us your doing that , mashallah .
I ditto everything that rachel said to you .
You are a blessing to those children and mashallah they are a blessing to you .
I can almost hear you breathing now over here lol.
hugs sara xxx
6:47 AM
Oh dear Safa I couldn't stop crying when I read your post. I so admire you!!! Be happy!!!!:-)
11:31 AM
This was a very touching post! So happy that you and the children were able enjoy a moment amidst the trials of life. Thank you for sharing it with us. Baraak Allaahu feekum!
12:13 PM
everytime i look at that pic i smile myself. mashallah they look truly happy.
1:28 PM
It is the smallest of blessings that make the biggest difference in our lives. Shukran for reminding us of that...
1:29 PM
Any news about ur husband, Safa? What is his next step now..?
1:57 PM
I think there is a time after suffering so much hardship that you finally get a glimpse that the future WILL be better. There will still be some ups and downs -- but you've just had that glimpse, insha'Allah. I remember what that feels like because I had it not too long ago. Now almost everyday is sunny, al hamdulillah.
I pray for much sunshine for you and yours, Safa.
Love,
PM
2:31 PM
Awwww thanks everyone.....
Just smiling to myself remembering how many times I've had everyone praying for sunshine for me.......
5:31 PM
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5:47 PM
when i left my first husband...it was so hard. and we had some really really hard threadbare times. we had to go to a shelter also. but we stuck together, the kids and i. we made it through...not always a smooth path....but we made it alhamdulillah.
inshallah you will make it just fine. when things get hard just remember what brought you to the place that you are at now. Allah has His time for everything.
5:52 PM
safa what's amazing to me is that the 11 year old I was referring to is now 13. WOW!
8:22 PM
mashallah safa that's wonderful... so happy to hear....
sarah
9:51 PM
Masha Allah, what a great post. Thank you for keeping us up to speed on your happy moments too! I take it, then, that you have made contact with the kids' dad?
7:58 AM
What a fun, happy time with your children! Quite a change in weather for them! Had they all seen snow before this?
A very heartwarming post! Sooooo glad you're making the best of the situation. But don't you always? You're awesome!
*hugs*
4:19 PM
Tears, definetely tears, beautiful tears of happiness for you. I pray Allah keep you in such happiness and bliss as long as possible. I pray that all your days will be felt with relief. I pray for you Safa coming to your blog now is very enjoyable and makes me smile and that is good even if I'm smiling with tears in my eyes. I couldn't read your blog for a while because it would tear my heart out, but now it is nice.
Inna M'al Usri Usraa
Verily with every difficulty there is relief and I pray that yours lasts and lasts.
9:14 PM
i think muhammad expressed the thoughts and raw emotions that many of us felt safa. it was so hard to read your blog at times. now its with tears, smiling and joy.
9:19 AM
I am glad your kids are having fun with you after such a difficult time. Stay strong!
Hugs from your southern neighbor!
Anisah
8:28 PM
Assalam O Alaikum,
Dear safa,
Did you ever think why your husband is listening to more to his second wife than you? She has him wrap around her finger, and he has you wrap around his finger. Probably he wanted someone to stand up for her own rights. He took you for granted. He knew that somehow that you would never have guts to do something. He thought you don't have courage to fight for your rights how can you have courage for anything else. You were too kind and dependent on him. You showed him your weakness. he knew your weakness. On the other hand his second wife is much stronger than him, she knows his weakness. knows how to wrap him around her finger. it's great that alhumdolilah you showed him that you are not dependent on him and knows how fight for your rights. stay strong.
11:13 AM
Assalam O Alaikum,
Dear safa,
Did you ever think why your husband is listening to more to his second wife than you? She has him wrap around her finger, and he has you wrap around his finger. Probably he wanted someone to stand up for her own rights. He took you for granted. He knew that somehow that you would never have guts to do something. He thought you don't have courage to fight for your rights how can you have courage for anything else. You were too kind and dependent on him. You showed him your weakness. he knew your weakness. On the other hand his second wife is much stronger than him, she knows his weakness. knows how to wrap him around her finger. it's great that alhumdolilah you showed him that you are not dependent on him and knows how fight for your rights. stay strong.
11:13 AM
Assalam O Alaikum,
Dear safa,
Did you ever think why your husband is listening to more to his second wife than you? She has him wrap around her finger, and he has you wrap around his finger. Probably he wanted someone to stand up for her own rights. He took you for granted. He knew that somehow that you would never have guts to do something. He thought you don't have courage to fight for your rights how can you have courage for anything else. You were too kind and dependent on him. You showed him your weakness. he knew your weakness. On the other hand his second wife is much stronger than him, she knows his weakness. knows how to wrap him around her finger. it's great that alhumdolilah you showed him that you are not dependent on him and knows how fight for your rights. stay strong.
11:13 AM
Assalam O Alaikum,
Dear safa,
Did you ever think why your husband is listening to more to his second wife than you? She has him wrap around her finger, and he has you wrap around his finger. Probably he wanted someone to stand up for her own rights. He took you for granted. He knew that somehow that you would never have guts to do something. He thought you don't have courage to fight for your rights how can you have courage for anything else. You were too kind and dependent on him. You showed him your weakness. he knew your weakness. On the other hand his second wife is much stronger than him, she knows his weakness. knows how to wrap him around her finger. it's great that alhumdolilah you showed him that you are not dependent on him and knows how fight for your rights. stay strong.
11:13 AM
Assalam O Alaikum,
Dear safa,
Did you ever think why your husband is listening to more to his second wife than you? She has him wrap around her finger, and he has you wrap around his finger. Probably he wanted someone to stand up for her own rights. He took you for granted. He knew that somehow that you would never have guts to do something. He thought you don't have courage to fight for your rights how can you have courage for anything else. You were too kind and dependent on him. You showed him your weakness. he knew your weakness. On the other hand his second wife is much stronger than him, she knows his weakness. knows how to wrap him around her finger. it's great that alhumdolilah you showed him that you are not dependent on him and knows how fight for your rights. stay strong.
11:14 AM
Dear Seema,
Do you think a woman who has been what Safa has been through over the last 3 years needs to read something like what you wrote? You are in essence blaming her and calling her weak, while comparing her to MM who you refer to as strong. I suspect you mean well, but good God woman! THINK! If you were Safa would you want someone to write what you just did? Ya'Allah!
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
11:28 AM
it is, indeed, a weak woman who tries to manipulate her husband and sends a box of douche to her husbands wife!!
12:07 PM
A jealous, petty, weak, woman who "horns" in on someone else's husband, in the underhanded manner that MM did, and then has the audacity to send a gift like THAT which carries SO MANY offensive implications.
2:00 PM
PM you understood me wrong. I am not blaming safa at all. What am I saying is that her husband ego was too high to care for his own family and to see anything straight. I am not blaming safa at all pm.
2:55 PM
Assalam O Alaikum,
I know the last thing safa needs to hear is that I am blaming her. But I am not blaming her. What i am trying to say is that she needs to stay strong and she should show her husband what she is capable of doing by Allah's help of course. But she needs to stay strong because she is always been, but her strongness was different than before.
3:06 PM
Thanks for clarifying yourself, Seema. I understand what you are saying.......and insha Allah, I'll stay strong.....
3:19 PM
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