MM is old news....
From what I understand......MM is divorced. Officially. Hubbex showed the 13 yr old papers that was signed by him and her saying that they are divorced. Besides the official paperwork, according to the friends......he has also pronounced the talaq on her. He is living at his buddy's house. He brought the kids to that place and showed them.
And you know what? I just don't feel the way I thought I would about it. I'd always thought that the end of MM meant the end of our problems. But when I left Egypt........I left realizing that my problems in my marriage weren't about MM although they started to surface around the same time. (But I'll mention that MM was definately a cause of pain)
Anyways.......too bad so sad, MM............that's all I have to say to her.
And to the hubbex...........so how long is it going to be until you find ur next victim? (and HOW DARE YOU show papers like that to your daughter!!!)
posted by Safa at 3:32 AM
11 Comments:
Safa I am so glad that you thought this one out about what the underlying issue is and drew your own conclusions. You always were a smart one my friend. Kudos to you.
Ofcourse it does not excuse the actions of MM! Far from it. She was being a complete biatch in getting into the situation in the first place.. whether some say it is halaal or not frankly does not matter to her selfish actions. WE WONT EVEN TALK ANYMORE ABOUT WHAT HE DID, CAUSE IT IS DISCUSSED TO DEATH double eeeekssss!
The important thing now is that atleast you think you can put a finger on the bits that actually affected you... the part about being married to a man seemingly unsuited to you and your self worth. That realization and analysis is worth its weight in all your self respect and belief in yourself and your happiness in the future. I really commend you for that!
I think your daughters actions and his were feeding off each other. Her anger against the both of you and her typical 13 year old hyper emotional phase completely fed off his irresponsible desire to hit out at you in the only way he can think of right now. It was two hands clapping each other and creating the perfect sound to hurt you. That seems to be what it is.
Even if he has told you that he is not leaving Canada, I would be ever vigilant about the childrens physical safety. He can say many things and do completely something else. So please do not let your guard down at all. There will be other waves of anger and selfishness and desire to hurt you. It happens and I have seen it over and over.
Please get the custody issue resolved ASAP and ask your attorney to file for support immediatly as the temp custody is decided. This is very important. He needs to pay for his children whatever his excuses are. He needs to dissolve his property in Egypt if nessecary to do that. If you have good representation in Egypt maybe some efforts can be made. I would advise you to research this before he does things to his property which make them dissapear off the records. That is not difficult to do.
The discussion was productive and so this is the best time to move forward with the legalities. His mood may not be concilatory soon enough.
Sadiyah
6:04 AM
As Salaamu Alaikum Sister Safa:
Old news? hmmmm he can always decide to "take her back" lol. Who does he think he's fooling? My ex did this one time to my cowife when we were married, only to take her back a few months later.
I'm glad things are progressing along for everyone involved - even though it is painful.
You guys will come out of this SOOOO strong, both individually and as a family!
7:22 AM
This is the final talaq with MM. Complete with the paperwork. Knowing the past behaviour of MM, I bet she doesn't stop calling him or bothering him, considering she was doing that before he even married her.
I seriously doubt that Hubbex will "take her back". It's done.
And again...Allahu Alam.
8:20 AM
Allahu Alim, I'm sure it feels triumphant for you, but it makes me wonder what he thought it would do, make you go back to him?
But you're free of it, maybe not 100% yet, but emotionally and psychologically you are free from him. InshAllah his impact on your children will grow to be less as well.
He will find that he has lost everything before he realizes how much it meant to him.
And he will deserve every bit of anguish he will suffer.
I pray for you ya ghalia, you are more precious and beloved than you will ever know. :)
11:28 AM
What a loser! Is there no end to his manipulation and no level he won't sink to using his children? To show them papers of divorce??? What a pure wienie!
Keep on track sweetie.
Love you,
PM
11:45 AM
Wait, what papers? Were they legally married in Canada?
Hey, maybe now you and MM will become best friends. HAHA, right.
5:44 PM
Looks like your ex is starting his life over... divorce from both wives... getting married again.
Why am I not surprised?
11:45 PM
The papers were drawn up by a sheikh......they aren't legally married, but their marriage was more binding than just an islamic word of mouth marriage. I suppose you'd call it an Orfi marriage.
Hey, SM,....I didn't think of that.....in fact, we are both starting over, right? Too bad that he needs a woman to do that......
7:08 AM
How can he afford a wife if he can't afford his children?
As always, priorities are set very well..... sigh....
8:17 AM
well he did tell your daughter that he cant live without a wife, so he will marry again.
1:45 PM
Showing his own daughter the papers...he is clearly off his head. I think there comes in a point in a marriage in which too much damage has been done to go back. There are all these potential turning points in which one partner still feels hope if only...he's a fool to have missed all those opportunities, Safa. know that over the past few years that you stood at those turning points w/ hope. Now there is nothing to do but leave that man to himself. He will surely self-destruct.
The weekly meetings are a great idea! People pay therapists a lot of money to learn how to communicate more positively. :)
12:51 AM
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