Hubby is leaving today
Assalaamu alaikum everyone. My hubby is leaving today. Sigh. We haven't talked or discussed anything. I'm holding myself together these last few hours. Trying to bite my tongue, trying not to cry. I think when he leaves,
I
Will
Break
Down
and
Cry
Myself
To
Sleep.
posted by Safa at 1:03 AM
11 Comments:
Hey Safa, Salam. Why don't you have a talk? I must have missed something. I know you didn't want to ruin the visit or anything but ignoring the issue can't make it better right?
3:36 AM
Salaams Safa,
You sound soooo sad. Stay strong; it's all a test from Allah. I really want to cry for you. Why after what? 17 years? does he have to be so cold to you? Just have faith that all works out for the best for you and your children. Lots of dua are going your way!
hugs,
J.
4:42 AM
Things will get better. He doesn't deserve you. All this pain..I'm really sorry you have to go through this. It's a long hard row. But you've got 4 and soon 5 people who love you to death. Your older daughters can help you and someday you want them to look back and say..our mom was so strong and never gave up...A man who would do the things he has done and now leave a pregnant woman who is ill and has 4 children is almost unbelievable. How he lives with himself is amazing. I think even if you haven't gone thru the formalities you should now think of yourself as a single woman and begin to live life accordingly. Continue to take his financial support but that is all. I think you have almost left in your heart anyway. You have no obligations to him anymore. To continue to think of him in your life is damaging to yourself and would only hold you back. I hope you have some friends there that you can lean on. And I would see a lawyer to know exactly what your options and rights are.
Millions of women all over the world are faced with this situation and go on to live productive lives. That doesn't help particularly, I know but you've got company I guess. At least it's not physical abuse and you don't have to be afraid of him..think of how worse it could be if you were trying to get away from a abusive man who didnt want you to go. So there..you're a step ahead.
Try to enjoy your children and get thru this pregnancy. Maybe it's a time to play with your kids, get them excited about the baby. The older ones will have to step up to the plate and really help with you the baby when it comes.
Hope you are feeling a bit better.
6:12 AM
Don't worry Safa everything is going to be alright. I'm sure that you will pull through. I'm praying for you, but I'm not worried about you because you are a strong sister. May Allah bless you and your family.
8:11 AM
Why hold your tongue? I don't understand. If you want him to be there, tell him...obviously you have, but men are not so smart. Explain. Tell him what you need in no uncertain terms. Tell him what the kids need. Once you are sure he understands (try not to tell him by saying that he is not doing anything...just say what is needed) and nothing changes...THEN YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER. If he knows and makes no changes, you have to do something. If not for you, then for your baby and your daughters. Please.
9:18 AM
Asalaam Alakium Safa
I am so sorry I haven't commented on your blog in awhile. You know how it is with a 5 month old lol.
I am so sorry for everything that is going on. You are in my constant thoughts and prayers. (((Big hugs)))
If you need anything please let me know. I am here for you.
Salaams and take care
10:10 AM
Salamu alaykum,
I've been thinking of you often and hoping inshallah that things are improving. I'm sorry if they have not and I know with your pregnancy and the diabetes it doesn't help. May Allah bless you with all that is good. Don't despair and know for sure that after every difficulty comes ease.
11:59 AM
Dear Safa, can't you ask him why he is leaving without discussing things? What about telling him you NEED some kind of resolution and it's difficult to reach that over the phone. Perhaps he doesn't realize how close you are to leaving. May Allah give you peace and strength in your heart.
2:10 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum Safa,
I've been reading your blog for a little while. Subhanallah you have a lot on your plate with the pregnancy, and diabetes. I think you should talk to your husband ASAP before he leaves. When he is gone you might wish you would have said a bunch of things, so you should get it off your chest now Insha'Allah.
7:33 PM
Thanks for your comment, Sobia. I didn't publish it. But I did enjoy reading it....must have re read it about 5 times.
I already posted...so I'm not going to comment to comments here.....love ya'll!
2:10 AM
Assalamu Aleikum wa rahmatulahi wa Barakatuhu,
I think the damage has been done. By your husband. I don't think you can get what you want retroactively. Once a person has hurt you that deeply, the sore becomes a scab, and even if you keep trying to remove it, the scab will only turn into a scar. And for that I am so sorry. I have no good advice to give, so if I want to comment, or read your blog, I will avoid the subject of "him" altogether. Do I have permission?
So I don't want to talk about "him". You are a person in your own right.
Anyways, how's your pregnancy other than the sugar? Do you have morning sickness and cravings and stuff? What kind of cravings? I always ask pregnant women because I find out that they are as varied as the fingers on the hand as you said. LOL
6:26 AM
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