where I am right now.....
Assalaamu alaikum......
Where to begin? Well, Alhamdulillah is always best. So here it is... Many things are going on.....some positive....most not. It seems we are both doing the dance around the mulberry bush.....LOL!
I am having a problem with my sugars....and it seems diabetes in soon to be plopped on my plate. Seems like my plate won't hold much more.....may Allah make me capable of this one. Today I go to have full tests on my blood and the DR will be seeing me afterwards.
I thank Allah that I may have diabetes.....I was thinking about all the many things that could be going on with my health...and came to the conclusion that diabetes was definately not among the worst. I'll let you all know what happens tonight.
Hubby and I have reached our own personal plateaus on two very different levels.....we stare at each other from across an abyss....and are at a loss to find a common ground. Nothing has changed. And yet, everything has. He leaves Feb 6th.....
posted by Safa at 10:29 PM
13 Comments:
Please let us know about how it goes at he docs. I'll be around if you want to chat, dear.
Love you,
PM
3:50 AM
Besides the love that he must feel for you and your kids, do you think there is anything that will drive your husband to come and stay with all of you forever? Does he show any sincere hope to have a future with you alone, or does he plan to keep living a double life in which the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, but always turns out to be kind of dry and brownish crap? The way he switches between two lives, two wives and two countries doesn't give the impression that he is happy in any of these places eventhough there is something pulling him in both of them (and at the same time driving him away). It is clear that he is not making you and your children happy, and I doubt the Moroccan wife is experiencing the ideal marriage, but how is this situation contributing to his own happiness? I really don't get it, from a woman trying to see things from a man's perspective (pretty impossible anyway right...).
You have tried the sweet, caring, patient and I'll-be-waiting-for-you approach as well as the I'm-hurt-and-I'm-gonna-rub-it-in-your-face approach and neither of them have brought any positive change or even just a tiny bit of hope right? So what's plan C? Stop waiting for decisions to be made by others and start making your own? Might be scarry but hey, it doesn't seem like it could get any worse. I think it's time for a radical change up in there. I wish happiness and easy for you and your kids. Ma'a salaama
4:18 AM
Assalamu alaikum, Safa. I check on you daily and wish with each click of the mouse that I will find the old you in the posts. Insh'Allah, you will find ease from the latest crises with your health and your husband. I miss you!
9:42 AM
Asalamalaykom Sis,
If you are looking over an abyss, then turn your gaze upward and see how vast the sky is. That sky is not even a portion of the greatness of God. Put your faith in Him.
And stop being so sweet! :)
12:46 PM
Salam Alaykoum Safa, don't worry, Diabtetes isn't that bad, inshaAllah you will be able to keep it under control.Stay strong.
12:54 PM
i honestly wouldn't be surprised if you got diabetes due to stress, because there is a kind of diabetes that is triggered by stress.
I like your positive style of thinking mash'allah..that you could have something much worse than diabetes.
3:17 PM
I pray your hubby will throw a line over that abyss and that you two can once again connect. He is the one who is going to have to do it. I think you've done everything possible to save your marriage. He's got to work at it too.
I'm making special dua's for your health and your baby these days. I hope you get a good report from the doctor.
*big hugs & love*
4:30 PM
Hey sweetie, hope the blood tests come out ok. It might be gestiational diabetes. I'm scared I probably have diabetes. Both my parents do and a load of extended family do too. I should find out. Hope you're well.
12:39 PM
where did my comment go?
2:41 AM
I can only hope for you that things get better.
For jamilalighthous, Diabetes is that bad. If you, inshaAllah, take good care of yourself then you have nothing to worry about. Diabetes isn't a thing that you can just forget about. You have to watch your food and diet very closely. take insulin if prescribed. If you do nothing it can lead to amputations. I'm sure that safa won't have to worry about this because i have faith that she will take care of herself.
On a side note safa, how are u dealing with your husband around. I am in a monogamous marriage but my husband works out of state sometimes gone for up to 6 weeks. When he gets home, if it's longer than say 3-4days, we are on the verge of killing eachother. I can't wait until he leaves. And then after a week or more i really start to miss him.
Is this how you're feeling right now? I'm just curious.
1:19 PM
You had a Birthday!?! I always look at your 34yrs old canadian thing and I noticed it changed to 35. Maybe I'm on the late show. I haven't made my rounds cause I haven't had watch at night to make them. I pray that you will be able to find solace in the near future. I can't miss the tone of relief stating the date that he will leave you.
8:37 PM
safa, i dont know what to say. u are in all my prayers. i think of u constantly and wonder how u dealing with all this, as i was in your shoes not so long ago.
u are a strong woman safa. u really are. i have so much respect for u. i wish for u a life of peace and happiness. stay strong.
12:21 AM
Hang in there!
11:14 AM
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