Changing my own rules......

I came to a couple of decisions regarding some of my failed self imposed boundaries. I'm specifically talking about not calling Hubby after work hours, so as not to impose on MM's personal time. That's a pretty stiff rule for me. Since day 1, I've followed that and have never called him after he leaves work, not even a text message. The first time I talked to MM after she became a co wife, (over a year ago) I asked for the same respect from her. She thought it was a great idea, and told me that she understood perfectly, and that even tho I asked for that from her, she absolutely did not expect the same from me. Well and good, but I told her that I'm the kind that once I make rules, I follow them. And I have......but not her. Not even slightly. Allah knows, but I think that since I asked her for that, she started to call ALL HOURS with a vengeance. I can't tell you how many countless phone calls we've received at 1:30 am, 12:30 am......7:00 am......sigh. It's been a source of GREAT pain for me and I've asked my hubby countless, countless times to control this issue to no avail.
I don't know what his problem is, hers either. After this visit, I basically said....screw this! I'm tired of being the good, the muadhab, only to be stepped on by those who don't respect me or my right to live a peaceful life. Maybe what I've done by not calling him, or texting, is only enforced the idea for her that Hubby's other family doesn't exist. Don't u think?
So I counted the hours until hubby should have arrived in airport, and instead of calling him within 15 mins of touchdown, I called about 1 1/2 hours later.....he was in the car going home. A worker had picked him up. And I had heard him tell the worker to pick up MM if she wanted to go. In fact, I had been upset about that and had asked hubby how the worker could take MM in his car, considering there would be no mahram. He seemed to think it was okay and then asked me how I take a taxi.....to which I said, if there was no one with me, I wouldnt even consider it. You cannot. He side stepped the issue and didn't continue it. So we talked to him while he was in the car, all the girls told him, "hamdillah ala salaama", meaning "Thanks to Allah for your peaceful return"......and all the girls told him that they loved him and he replied the same.....when it was my turn on the phone, he told me....Na'am ya habibty.......and I said the same as the girls and made dua for his return to us again safely. Before he hung up he said to me, I love you, Assalaamu alaikum. Hmmmmmm. Somehow I doubt that MM was there.......would he say that in front of her? I hope he wouldn't......I can see it being so hurtful even if a truth.
Today my 11 yr old and I awoke at Fajr and prayed together....I looked at the time....11 pm in Canada. And decided to send him a text message......he hasn't called me since he returned....so I wrote the following:
"Assalaamu alaikum. Haven't heard from you. Hope that you have things under control and are managing with what you have. Of course with the help of Allah. Put Allah first and foremost and stay away from issues with doubt. I worry about you and your level of Eman. May Allah guide you back to your family. Ameen. I'm up to pray Fajr. The 3 yr old told me today that Baba gone long time and won't sleep with me cuz that's Baba's spot. Bed is too cold now. Okay, have to pray."
I sent it with a report attached and he opened it instantly. Didn't call me back tho, but I guess I can expect him to call today, insha Allah. So what do u think? It was religious, reminded him of his children, and slightly racy with the mention of a cold bed. Pretty well rounded out, don't u think?? LOLOLOL!!!!
Okay, enough about this......
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I dreamt that I had invited ppl over to dinner and was making cauliflower....forgot to turn on the water to boil and was frantic that it wouldn't be ready in time....(wth is wrong with me, eh? Inviting ppl over to eat cauliflower????? LOLOL)....anyways, when I was going to the stove to see if the cauliflower was ready, instead I found it was the giant mushroom top of a jelly fish I was cooking....EWWWWWWW! Somehow in the dream I was really excited about it. So I'm wondering.....is inviting ppl over to eat jellyfish better than cauliflower? HAHA!!
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Anyways...that's about all I've got on my mind at the moment.....gonna take the kids out for awhile, have dinner outside.....I'm thinking Hardee's......anyone want to come join us??