soap opera time......

Thank God for UmmAbdurrahman. Alhamdulillah. You are keeping me sane, buddy.

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Okay, here's what's going on. Be prepared for shock!

~~ MM was nice to the girls. She gave a stuffed bunny to my 3 yr old. Gave them a whole bunch of treats to eat. The girls particularly liked one of them, and she had hubby stop so she could buy them more. We read the ingredients later with hubby....gelatin. Sheesh! My 11 yr old said she was nice enough. Not really pretty, tho. Said Baba and her were watching TV after they came back from the DR's. So that is that.

When Hubby made it back over to us.....the two girls who DIDN'T go to see MM, started being really mean to my 11 yr old. Calling her Baba's Angel....saying....o ya....u went to see the other wife, now u ain't one of US. Even the 9 yr old was doing it. So I told em to quit it....and comforted my 11 yr old......and told her that if I didn't want her to go, I wouldn't have let her. So not to think I'm mad at her. My oldest was more upset because she felt her father should have taken her first. Since forever my 11 yr old has adored her father, and is quite intune to him. So it's another source of jealousy between those girls.

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He decides to take us to McDonalds for dinner, and just before we arrive, he says to me....would you rather you and I ate somewhere else?? And I'm like....what do you mean? So he says...we'll sit here with the girls while they have dinner and then drop them off and go out to dinner you and I. So I'm like....I'd love to have some alone time with you. All happy again. (i'm so easy) So girls finish dinner, we drop them off at home.....and he takes me to this really nice chinese food place......I don't eat so well there....my stomach was feeling quesy.....so before we leave, I go to the bathroom.....darn......and throw up. Oh well. So it's 8pm now......and hubby wants to take me for a coffee and a walk. YAY! So we drop off at Tim Hortons.....get our coffee's.....and walk along the Bluff. So nice. We talk about his brother, his niece....just safe little topics.....I'm thinking to take it a step further, but like always....waiting for the right time. So I find him leading us over to the car....and I sorta look at him. I say....are you finished walking?? I haven't even started yet. He says...well, I was thinking that we could go back....do you still wanna walk? So I look at him....actually look at him.....he looks tired, then I glance up at the path that we would walk and generously say to him.....it's okay....you look tired....lets go home and have a nice night with the kids. So we get in the car....and about 3 minutes from home he says to me...."Well, I didn't want to upset you earlier, but tonight I'm going to MM's house."
WHAT?????(But you know I didn't scream that) So I tell him, go tomorrow so that we can sleep over at Mom's house. And he's like, well I already arranged it, with her she's expecting me.
3 minutes are up. We are in the building driveway. He asks me if I want to say anything.....DO I WANT TO SAY ANYTHING??? I think.....well, if he really cared what I had to say, he wouldn't have told me 3 mins from the house. And then on the other hand, he was trying to make a nice night for me....oh jeez! So I says....I want to ask Allah to make u successful in ur endeavours to please him and accept your dua. SO he's sorta quiet and says,,,,Allahumma ameen. Anything else, he asks? Nope. and I go to get outta the car....he seems waiting for something, so I say, would you like me to kiss you goodbye? And he says, of course. So I give him a kiss and walk outta the car...NOT GONNA CRY NOT GONNA CRY.....and march up the stairs, pull open the bldg door and walk right in. Didn't turn around and wave, didn't look back.
These boots were made for walking.

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I go upstairs and tell the kids. They are pissed to say the least. We had some movies from the library, so we watch them. I keep falling asleep, which is pissing me off cuz I miss important plot points. hahahaha! So at 3 am, we are still up. We decide to go for a walk. The two younger girls are asleep. The girls are excited. They can't believe that we are going for a walk at 3 am. So it's sorta misty outside, having rained earlier....little brisk out.....and we walk around under the stars and lamplights. Slowly my girls start talking...sharing things we just don't share around the couch in the livingroom. All of us walking together being friends. No more jealousy between Mommy's girl and Daddy's girl....no more Mommy for me. I'm allowed to listen to their talking, and I'm not threatening. It starts a light patter of rain, and we run laughing to hide under anything. As we are running, we notice a police car turning the corner....we all freeze thinking that if the police man sees us running he could get suspicious. 3 people with scarves you know....so then we make up all these silly excuses why we are running, and almost wet ourselves with laughter.

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O sweet laughter! You used to be such a good friend. Reliable and a very important part of my being? Why have you abandoned me? Am I not funny anymore? Is nothing funny? Thanks for dropping back in for a visit. You are addictive. I know that should you delay in coming back, I will be searching for you. Among other people, in the street, maybe in the garbage, maybe in the sink, where someone I know is defrosting frozen meat and a little mouse is prolly gnawing at the sides to allay his own sorrows. O sweet laughter! Please be my forever friend.
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After we get back to the bldg, 4:30 am, we sit on the stairs and start talking. Baring our souls. Bottom line. My kids love me and stand by me. They think I am amazing. What more do I want in life? I hated my Mom when I was 14. And here sits in front of me my 14 yr old daughter who loves me. May Allah protect them.

So I finally fall asleep around 5 am. Dead tired, of course. And then get waken up at 8:30 am with a phone call. It's Crystal.

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Who is Crystal? She's the canadian woman that my hubby divorced a year ago. Now remember that someone was calling me in Egypt, right? Well, she says that she didn't call me. And neither did anyone she knows. I ask her why she's calling and she says this to me, "Safa, I've been hung with guilt about you for a long time, I was never alright with marrying ur Hubby, when I knew he had a wife and kids. But at the same time, I knew that his beliefs allowed it, and I went ahead with it. I find that inside of me, I have no closure concerning you. I wanted to ask you to forgive me....I wanted to ask you not to hate me.....I wanted you to know that I have nothing to do with ur hubby now....and I realize you must be going thru hell with his new marriage to MM." So I says to her, o u know about MM? AND GET THIS!

SHe says, "When he married MM, I made ur hubby divorce me. I wasn't about to share him with that horrible woman"

HOLD ON HERE.

When did Hubby marry MM? Decemeber she says. That's right. WHen did you get divorced? Maybe a month after he married her. Jan??? WRONG!! WHAT?? WHAT?? So I'm calm and all.......breathing, breathing........and I tell her that I forgive her and I hope that she doesn't have a bad idea of muslims. She says no. And she says she'd like to meet me. She tells me that MM isn't a good woman, and that I should try and get her outta hubby's life. She also told me that hubby told her that he was going to divorce MM. What and try to hold on to her?? WTH??? So I finish with her. I sit in the kitchen and try to decide whether or not I will confront hubby immediately or hold on to this. I decide to wait until the evening....but it seems that Allah had another plan.

Now you know he's over at MM's house. So he comes in the door at 10:30 am....a couple of hours after the phone call. And he walks right to the cell phone and checks the log. First time for him to do that. And he sees Crystal's number. He just stares at the screen for a second. Then he looks at me and asks me who called. So I ask him, Do you know that number? He says yes. So I says, I guess you know who called then don't you??