A little seriousness........
What a night yesterday. I've been feeling that my 14 yr old has been acting out a lot. She's been arguing with her 11 yr old sister a lot, saying some mean things, and for the first time ever, been spending time in her room alone with the door closed. Now she is a bossy girl, who likes things to go "her" way, but she never just shut herself off. So a couple of days ago, I told her that Monday night was going to be our night. The 11 and 9 yr olds had an exam Tues morning, so I could put them to bed early. Dumb and Dumber was coming on TV, she went to go buy pop and chips and we had our night. So right near the end of Dumb and Dumber, I asked her why she's been sad. She denied it, but after some pushing....she gave. She has lost all her hope. She feels her Father has chosen someone else, that we are never going to move into our villa, that we will always be where we are at this exact moment. In the balance. Stuck.
What could I say? The only thing I came up with was that I promised to always be there for her. And that no matter what road our lives turn down, I'd be beside her. And that Allah has a purpose for all things.
Was it enough? I pray that it was. I hurt for her. And it just doesn't make me feel so good.
posted by Safa at 2:02 AM
6 Comments:
mashaa allah cute girls!! you reproduce very nicely! heh heh heh
2:36 PM
wow.. i'm insensitive.. i left a comment about your daughters and completely forgot about the content of your post. forgive me
*my hand is outstretched, waiting to be properly smacked*
it is so sad that children are innocent victims.
it broke my heart when my son figured out that his father wasn't there when he was born, never held him, never read him stories, etc. when he was about 4 or 5, he would say things like "i can't wait to see my dad. he's going to take me fishing" and i would have to burst his tiny innocent bubble.
just last week he said "mom, father's day is coming up and i don't have anyone to make a gift for." ouch.
6:09 PM
My daughter has also carried the hurt of not having a father. It is a pain planted deep inside. She is 10 and he has never seen her.
Out of nowhere, he wanted to "be a father" around Christmas. I told him that we would not go along with his all of a sudden hurried attitude. He basically wanted to take her for a weekend right away. I told him he should send an email to my address and I would discuss it with her since this would be her first contact with him.
Well, he decided to not listen and sent her balloons and a teddy bear to her school. She had no idea who they were from and became scared when I told her. She got very angry and does not want to speak to him at all.
7:35 PM
that is awful. my son's father called a little over a year ago with the same sudden hurried interest (even though he is 1000s of miles away) and kept calling and calling every day, demanding to talk to him. my son didn't know what to say and would tune him out. he hasn't really mentioned his father since (except for last week, but was not talking about his father, just a father in general)...
10:24 PM
I made it all the way to 8 yrs old without a father. He was in and out of mom's life until then. But he never took any interest in me.....always telling me to call him by his first name and not call him "dad". At 8, mom got remarried. He fulfilled all my dreams of what a father is and more! Since then they have divorced.....but he definately filled that little angry space. It has always been important to me that the kids think the world of their dad. I wanted him to be everything that I never had for them. I don't know how to approach what my daughter is dealing with. And I don't know if my husband will be able to either. I told him about her and he says that it's important that I redirect her energies towards her studies for final exams. And that anything else, he will deal with when he comes. I don't have confidence in his ability to appease her. What I see is him talking to her and telling her HOW it's gonna be. That makes me hurt too.
1:34 AM
Salaam,
Just popping over after I saw your comment. Sister I feel so sad for what you are going through. May Allah grant you Sabr and give you a great reward, insha Allah.
2:53 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home