Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.........

The phone call finally came a couple of nights ago. My hubby claims that he can't afford to bring us all to Canada. That the tickets will cost him too much money. So he's saying that he'll be coming to Egypt soon and will be staying 2-3 weeks. Then he'll have to go back to Canada for about 2 weeks and then he'll be coming back again for another short period of time. Hmmmmmmm. I'm not sure as to his sincerity of this because when he called again today, he said on the phone..."I really want to come to Egypt." which confused me, so I asked him, "I thought you were coming?" And he backed up and said...."what I mean, is that I'm looking forward to it." Hmmmmmmmm. He owes me 3 months. So I don't know how on earth he's adding this up? He also asked me to be patient with him and not to pressure him. To which I replied, "If you are giving me all my rights Islamically, I wouldn't be pressuring you." To which he answered, I'm giving you more than your rights.....then I said....then why do you feel pressured? LOLOL, stop there. He had to think about it. (he owes me just over 3 months now)

Now one of the interesting things he said to me....which I am sure he picked the words for very carefully, he said, "I just wanted you to know that khalass, she's back in her apt and I'm in my apt now." (Did I mention that she never gave up her apt?) So I asked him, "you are divorced?" and he answered, no. Hmmmmmm. Then he said that there is some paperwork with his and her names on it that he has to finish up. I didn't question further, but did find out today that he means the custody case for her getting her kids back. He didn't say if he was staying at her place or dropping in or even if it was just a matter of time. I let it slide. I have to think.

Then he tried to lay on the guilt trip, saying I was insensitive, that I don't know what trouble he's been thru, blah blah blah. I didn't take any of it. You see? That's where I've changed. Before in our marriage, this is where I'd be very quiet and contemplative and feel so sorry for him. But now? Heck, no. He got himself into this position all by himself, this is just Allah's answer to him. So I don't feel sorry for him, and neither do I feel a need to be defensive.

So I was thinking about 101 things I wanted to ask him on the phone....but at the same time......wanting to think and ask the right questions. So I've decided that if, insha ALLAH, he is coming soon, that any questions I have can wait until I can see his face. I need to see his reaction. And I don't want to give him time to think about things. I want to make him think on his feet. The one thing I am thinking of very seriously is that if he will come and then go back to Cda for only a 2 week period, I will pressure him into bringing me with him. I want to see my mom and I really want to scope out the situation there. Besides that, if I am with him for those two weeks, I may be a source of support for him. We'll see. But that's what is going on in my head.

He made a very guarded comment about making a mess of things. Which I pray that he means. I am quite confused, friends. I've never been down this road, never even considered this road when I was standing at the fork of it. Just would turn my face towards the path and keep walking. And now I feel like I am just mesmerized by it.....standing there looking off on how "way leads on to way" and wondering if it'll really make the difference. Keep me in your prayers.......