I'm smelling the lilacs........
Beside the building I lived in as a young girl, there were a line of lilac bushes. Oh, not the huge giant ones that you see everywhere now......but the original dwarf kind. All the lilacs in this line were shades of purple......except for one bush of white. Ohhhhh, the smell of lilacs in bloom!!
I spent a lot of time beside that line of lilacs. I used to find a comfy spot and read quietly. I spent some awfully warm spring days basking in that exotic smell. Can you smell the lilacs with me?
I learned something funny about lilac bushes........ants love them! I brought so many lilac branches to my mother....and she never complained. Used to put the lilacs in a huge vase, where they never lasted more than a day. Ohhhhhh, the smell of lilacs.
Can you imagine my joy when I found that we have lilacs in our backyard? Purple ones.....large and glorious.....full of a heady scent that blows in the back windows. It brings a tear to my eye when I get a generous whiff of their perfume. It blows in unexpected and brightens my day. Purple lilacs.
Perhaps tomorrow I will cut some branches and bring them in the house. I'd love to see the look on Mom's face. What did the lilacs mean to her?
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The hubbex isn't calling the kids anymore. He hadn't called them all last week, and one of the girls called him Sat to make sure he was coming Sunday. Again, he hasn't called all this week. He's not doing so well at being a part time father. He's distancing himself. Oh yes.....this was the man who was yelling on the phone...."GIVE ME MY CHILDREN!!!!"
On another note.....the 13 yr old said something out of the blue. And it made me dare to hope. She said that she hopes her Dad leaves for Egypt soon. And that she told him last weekend that if he was waiting for her to go with him, that she may not go. She said he looked at her and told her that it wasn't easy to change his plans around for her all the time. So she said, well that's why I"m telling you now. If you are waiting for me, I may not go.
Wow!! I'm just holding my breath......
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Well, okay....there's something else. I'm sad. I've lost a friendship today and it hurts. She sent me a hurtful email that shocked me.
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I want to go for a walk and smell the lilacs.....and remember. Tomorrow I WILL put some on the table........insha Allah....I will.
posted by Safa at 8:59 PM
14 Comments:
I love the smell of lilacs. Nothing compares to it. I too used to cute them and put them in my house..they lasted more than a day tho.
My home in PA has tons of lilac bushes, purple and white, and I do have a couple of the dwarf bushes, but after 20 years, they grew bigger. The more I cut them, the bigger they grew.
I don't know if I can plant them here in FL, it might be too hot and dry where I am.
I'm sorry you lost a friend today, that really sucks.
Never compromise, and always stay true to yourself. Hold you head high girl, you deserve it.
10:02 PM
These things happen and if the friendship was really sincere then this breach will pass and you will repair the damage.
Love you,
PM
1:42 AM
Lilacs and Lily of the Valley remind me of my grandmother who grew them in her yard. When I was older and in university she would cut them, wrap them in a wet paper towel, newspaper, and plastic, and send them to me. :)
I agree w/ PM-true friendships will survive the blows over the years.
2:22 AM
Wow, Lilacs and Lilly of the Valley bring back so many memories for me also. Of a time when life was easier and no worries. That is awesome you have them behind your house now Safa, keep smelling them and holding them close to your heart. And about the friendship, the closest friends and family can be so hurtful, hopefully she will see she has lost an awesome friend.
6:52 AM
That is something I sure do miss - the smell of lilacs - last year when I was in Canada it was lilac season - and the house that my son lived in had a lilac hedge - used to love walking out in the morning and smell that wonderful fragrance. Really sorry to hear about your 'friend' - it is sad when we make changes in our lives and our friends are unable to be happy for us. As was said earlier - be true to yourself - no looking back and second guessing. You are an awesome, strong, sensible person - remeber "God don't make no junk". Love ya.
11:24 AM
Asalaam alaikum Safa,
I enjoy reading your posts like these, reflecting on things that make you feel happy.
2:39 PM
Masha'Allah it's amazing how Allah gave us beautiful smeeling flowers to cheer us up when times are down subhanallah. For me I've never smelled a Lilac though I do love Lily of the Valley (another i haven't smelled in flower form but i had bath crystals once with that smell) because I'm a desert girl from Arizona. But my g-pa had a Jasmine vine all curling around a lattice in front of the house and I used to spend hours weaving them through the framework and guiding them to beauty and the smell would be all over my hands and clothes and I'd be soooo happy. Masha'Allah.
I'm glad your daughter is starting to see things perhaps more clearly abou ther father. Would it be easier for you and them if he stepped out of their life long term? Or would the kids hurt worse? I make du'a for them and you. Seriously.
Plz comment on my blog and leave me your e-mail so I can add you to my new blog. You've been so kind to let me in yours and to share your life with me that I want to do the same and maybe you might have soe wisdom to help me too. After all you had 5 kids so you have loads more wisdom than I do. :D
I'm sorry your friend hurt you so suddenly. May Allah make it easy for you.
I too like this very nice post. You should ask your mother what lilacs meant to her. Maybe start something with your kids. Like always have lilacs at the dining table or neat their beds so they always think of you when smelling them... :)
2:59 PM
Assalamu `alaykum sis,
Thanks for the post... I could almost smell the flowers.
And also... thanks for the article on the Toronto Star again. Not only it generated a nice dialogue here in your blog, but I have been discussing the issue of polygamy with many friends this past week because of the article. Although we might not all agree with everything at times, it's good to put things in the open and discuss.
Finally, whatever happened with your friend... insha'Allah your hearts will come together again. Sometimes friends hurt each other and then... it's time to forgive and heal.
All the best,
Caminante
8:28 PM
I just love the smell of Lavender.
Life is too short, try and find out what is wrong with your friend and see if you can't mend the relationship.
1:39 AM
I just love the smell of Lavender.
Life is too short, try and find out what is wrong with your friend and see if you can't mend the relationship.
1:39 AM
I grew up with lilac bushes in my backyard and presently have one small one in my front yard that I've been wondering if it will ever grow up and bloom more. From a previous response you've received I guess I should be trimming it and it will take off. Think I'll give that a try. Jasmine is another fragrant flower that I love. Wish I could have a trellis full but I don't think it would survive our Canadian winters.
Your hubbex was never much of a hands on father before.. I doubt he could become one now. He seems better at long distance parenting. Hopefully your 13 yr old is beginning to see her dad in a more realistic perspective than she had in the past. I'm sure that your love and strength will help all of your children through the difficult times.
Your comment about losing your friend made me think of this (see below).. so I wanted to pass it on to you. I'm sure you've probably seen it before.
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong -doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers Safa. Stay strong.
3:25 AM
thanks so much everyone....I particularly enjoyed yours Dreamweaver.....
7:17 AM
I too grew up in the scent of lilacs and is running around sniffing any bush I can these days :-)
My closest friend and I have had one serious incident, where she wrote to me hurtful things too. She said she could not respect me if I held certain views. I said that it hurt me, but that I could not change my mind to suit her. If she could not respect me for who I am then we should let our friendship go. I was saddened beyond belief, but I can not be anyone I am not to suit a friendship. I stood my ground and she valued our friendship enough to go the extra mile to see things from my side. We are still bussom-mates after some struggling.
Just be yourself. You are so wonderful. I would fight nail and toe to keep you as a friend.
I hope she was just overtly emotional and that things will calm down and you and her will mend things.
“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. ” Albus Dumbledore
Consider her perspective with your usual grace and perhaps you can agree to disagree on certain matters, like me and my Best Gal, and to leave those matters dead between you.
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.-- Albert Camus
So proud of you for your article.
Hiding such things under the carpet is a sure fireback on islam later. Ali Hindy is a man many is surveiling and his ways would have been exposed sooner or later anyways, most likely by a non-muslim critial of islam and with a case on his hands.
Your approach is much better.
Speaking for the kuffar, one responds much more positively to muslims themselves airing a debate rather then when sneaky illegalities are dug out by islam-critics.
Growing very curious about your reaction to Mr. Boutaya going public (Thanks PM). I am very happy he did too. He was very brave, I must say, and between the two of you, you put your face up for a case that could have just gotten nasty towards muslims.
You showed the human suffering of the actions of Mr. Hindy, your Hubb-ex and MM.
Thanks to you and also him, the blame now is all on the 3 culprits, not on muslims, as you dared speak up and showed that you were the victims, muslims, and that you would not stand for it. Kudos to you both!
"Kuffarwis"e it was the right thing to do.
Enjoy your lilacs!
5:36 AM
I too love lilacs...and, you're tagged! I'm interested to hear yours....
9:43 AM
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