KER-SPLAT!
The hubbex called me today. This time he's really going back to Egypt. He doesn't know when he's coming back. He wants to take the 13 yr old again. He said she wants to go to school in Egypt anyways.
WTH?????????
Thank GOD I have the custody papers done. And you know what? She may hate me forever.....but she's not leaving with him!!!
NO. WAY!!!!!!!
And see how he's all geared up to paint me as the bad guy again? Mama is going to say no. How the heck is he affording plane tickets???? I have a million questions I want to ask him, and just don't know where to start with him........perhaps I should just start with no.
posted by Safa at 2:45 PM
12 Comments:
i have learned that when a selfish man's family needs something he never has the money, but when a selfish man needs something he get the money easily. dont even worry about that part Safa.
and so, let yourself be the bad guy for now........she will eventually learn that you did everything in all of their best interest.
stick to your guns. let him go alone but keep your beautiful family intact. dont separate your kids.
when i divorced my first husband, he wanted me to take 2 and he wanted to take 2. i told him HELL NO. i am not separating the children. not now not ever and i never did. my children thought i was the wicked witch of all directions, but i didnt care. later, when i could trust him a little bit, then and only then did i let them visit for short periods of time. but i never let them live apart from each other.
your children have come along way....and theyre starting to adapt. but leave it to a man to come along and stir things up when everyone is getting settled. it never fails.
3:45 PM
I suspect he never had any intention of taking the 13 y.o. with him. He knows that the papers are done, that you're not going to let her go...it's just a ploy to make you look bad (like you said). It might take her some time to gain perspective on the whole thing, but I am pretty sure that her father will disappoint her again.
6:17 PM
Stick to your decision! Sounds like he will make attempts to undermine you when he can!
6:40 PM
Oh, I love what you guys have said. Jana....I surely can use your wisdom.....
CG.....he knows I'm going to say no. But I"m going to call him on it. Perhaps I'll tell him that he can leave now, and that the 13 yr old can come for a visit in the summer, and of course she'll have to have her big sister with her.
Basically saying.........yes...but not now. Oh I don't know. I should just let him play his games alone.
And yes, Cindi.....he's striking out at what he believes is the cause of his pain. Whatever.
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He has no money? But he has money for two tickets? WTH??? OMG....I wanna call him and BLAST HIM!!
7:56 PM
Subhan Allah for the past 2 years you begged and pleaded for him to come to egypt and be with your guys and now he is going and doesn't know when he is coming back....shatheed.....
5:10 AM
Didnt he just say that he coulndt even pay the credit card payment? And now he can suddently afford 2 tickets to Egypt, hummm. Stick to your guns Safa, you have healed your family in so many ways, they will all thank you later. The 13 year old may sulk around for a while, but she will get over it.
6:02 AM
i just need to say....i know the 13 year old is close to him, but all of his children needed him and he was never there for them. its not fair to the others that he is always singling her out to take with him!! how does that make the rest feel. even though they may not say much..they are well aware of his favoritism.
astaghfirullah, but he is a major ass.....even if he didnt take care of his wife the very least he could have done and could still do is love his children in a healthy way.
7:07 AM
Amen - this is one of those times when you have to pull rank as parent and put your foot down - for the benefit of your children - even though they do not see it - you know what is best and you have to do what is best. Unfortunately being a parent usually ends us up in 'I hate you' jail - more than once. Not to worry - just do what is best for your children and you will be blessed. Do NOT get caught up in his 'games'.
7:39 AM
i totally agree with UAR.u asked him so many times to come and now that you are there hes leaving.but is 13 yr old having a difficult time in canada?
9:21 AM
Tks so much everyone......
The 13 yr old is having a difficult time here. Although she speaks perfect english, her spelling and reading isn't at the same level. She doesn't like her teachers, she doesn't like her school, she doesn't like her uncle, she's mad at her grandmother, she's fighting with her older sister, she's gaining weight and just about hates the world.
Egianqueen spent time with us and knows better than anyone how she acts. She's my rebel child, my trouble girl...my non conformist......
He's picking off the weakest link.
10:49 AM
good for you safa to stand your ground on this one. it's always the rebellious kids that have the strongest need to feel mom stand firm and give them that good boundary. even if they struggle against it, it still makes them feel safe too...
5:31 PM
*echoes what milk says*
Be her champion, Safa..stronger than she is, and don't talk toooo much eh...say "no, I love you, you belong here, with your brother and sisters and mother. Your father can stay here, or go back to Egypt, but your place is here."
As for schooling...sigh...it's a rough road, and you know we're travllelling it too right now, after being in Kuwait. Just keep telling her AND yourself that one day at a time, this too shall pass, and life will get better...just put your nose to the grindstone and do the work and insha Allah it'll change.
Love ya girl...*hugsss*
3:46 PM
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