The lawyer....

I went to see the lawyer on Weds to draw up the custody / support agreement. The lawyer wrote up his great cover letter on the custody court papers.....it went something like.....

Safa wants to settle and I understand that you are going to be meeting with her. Good! Court can be avoided so please come to terms

He also mentioned at the end about the hubbex not paying support.....I really liked the letter. It was firm and reflected my views appropriately. But at the meeting, I found the lawyer different. Last week I was supposed to have a meeting with him, but it got cancelled. There was a death in the lawyers family. And the week before that he started some new courses that take up his late afternoons up till evening. As well as all that....every morning he's in court. He's a BUSY MAN!

So at the meeting he says to me...."hey I have an idea. Lets not draw up the custody / support papers at all.....we'll just go ahead with the court date, he won't show up and we'll win by default! What do you think?"

WHAT? I looked at him in utter amazement......and instantly the thought went thru my head.....this guy has no time and he's trying to do this to benefit himself....this has nothing to do with me. I took a breath and u know what I did?

Laughed!

And then I said to him........."well that's a great idea.....but the only sneaky thing I've EVER done in my marriage is to leave my husband.....I'm not willing to continue that behaviour" (and therefore calling him sneaky.......hehehe!)

I discussed what points I wanted put in the custody agreement......ignoring his idea completely. Oh but he wasn't done. He brought it up again. Then I just told him STRAIGHT.....I. don't. want. to. do. that. Very clearly. Now he humoured me and discussed the custody terms and then the support terms.

He tried again.

"You know you'll never see a penny of support. I've been a lawyer for 24 years and most men don't pay. So really, there is no point in drawing up these papers."

I answered him....."Well then there will be no difference between him and any other canadian man, will there? But I'm doing this paperwork!"

And you know what he did? He sits there quietly. Pensive. I looked at him, curious. What's he thinking? And I remembered watching my husband do a similar tactic. Hmmmmmmmm.......it's like he's gathering strength and a good argument. I was right. He suddenly exploded.....but controlled anger....mad, but controlled......

"I don't know what it is with these men!! He can make an army of kids but leaves you to struggle with them while he's off with other women. Doesn't that just get you going? What's wrong with being loyal to the mother of all your children? He has money in Egypt so why can't he give you any? He's not showing any interest at all in them.......he doesn't even care where they are!"

WOW! Although I agreed with him on some levels.....I felt HIGHLY pressured. And I really didn't think it was all about me. I told him that the hubbex has been coming to see his kids every weekend. Taking them out. The lawyer again told me lets just go thru with the court date....again I said no.

He now wrapped up the meeting in 5 mins. Very quickly said he's going to write, "this, this and this"....and was done. I had Mr Baby with me.....who was being very agreeable and just acting cutely while we talked. At this point I had him seated on the conference table..facing the lawyer. So as the lawyer wraps things up......he focuses on Mr Baby and only has one thing to say before he gets up to leave......

"He even looks like an arab....."