It starts with the rat.....
Yeah. I had a rat in my house again. I've been chasing it every night for the last three nights. It has become a part of my nightly routine........subhanAllah!! It's been going like this.....
Kids in bed 9:30 pm
Rat comes out by 10 pm
Safa chases rat around the house until 1 am
Rat hides somewhere good
Hubby comes home
Yup. That's what I've been doing every night. And still this darn rat was in the house.
And then last night happened.......
Last night, the kids went to bed. And right on time.....the rat comes out and runs almost right in front of me. I decide to keep my eye on it, and not waste an entire 3 hours running after it. Maybe when Hubby comes home, I can try to enlist his help.
Hehehehehe........lolololol!!!!!.........hahahahahaha!!! Oh yeah, sure!! Hubby will help with the rat? LOL.....remember when he pulled up his feet? Scared? Sigh.......
And don't forget.....I was still a little pissed at him about not taking dinner with him. But hey....that's okay. I was pretty much over it.
~~~~~
So he comes home. And he says he's hungry. Do you have some dinner? No, we ate it all. But I can make you some sandwiches......okay, he says. And I ask him.....But didn't you eat outside? Errr.....ya.....but I'm still hungry.
So I go in the kitchen and start preparing some food.....(and I stick a can of Fayrouz in the freezer....I bought it for him as a surprise, his favourite....!!!) And as I come out to ask him if he wants some pickles. AND THERE"S THE RAT!!!
So I say to him...Look! I can get rid of the rat....but I need ur help. Can u help me? Here's what you are going to do......you sit there on the couch.....and watch when the rat comes running....tell me where he goes, if he doesn't jump out the window.....okay?
Give me a stick, he says. NO! Just sit there! So he sits down......holding his son...lol! And I go in the kitchen to get something to smack the mouse with.......a heavy wooden spoon. I tell hubby very pointedly...."the rat is behind the niche.....I'm going to smack it and he'll come out.....don't be scared, okay??" LOLOL!!! So as I'm walking over to the niche.....I say out loud....lemme just check under the diningroom table first.......and u know what??? The rat is sitting on the chair looking over at my hubby. NO KIDDING!! I lift up the tablecloth very slowly.......Can you see him looking at you??? My hubby yells.....I CAN SEE THE RAT!!! (and scares baby who immediately starts to cry....!!) I smack the chair....the rat runs....I run after him....hit him with the spoon.....he runs into a basket in the kitchen.....I grab the basket and run out onto the balcony and then close the door! HE"S OUT!! WOOHOO!!!! THE RAT IS GONE!!!!
What a feeling!! FINALLY!! YAYAYAYAYA!!!!!
~~~~~
So then I make hubby the sandwiches. The mood all excited between us. We've gotten rid of the rat!! I bring him his ice cold Fayrouz......he comments...."You are really being nice to me...." I just smile. LOL!!
~~~~~
This morning. Well......hubby gets a phone call from his buddy in Cda. This guy is doing some stuff for him. Including collecting a share of the profits from his new store for him. Remember the new partner? Well.....when buddy went to collect, the partner refused to give him anything. What partnership? So I sit quietly and listen while hubby tells his buddy....."So that's it then. Okay. Well, listen.......take whatever you think I may want outta my apt....sell the furniture.....and give the owners back the key. I'm done there."
Allahu akbar!
Allahu akbar!
Allahu akbar!
I couldn't breathe. I just sat there. Played with baby. Pretend I didn't hear. Didn't question hubby. Didn't say boo. But I said about a million silent alhamdulillah's for Allah granting me ease after hardship. Tomorrow in the fajr, I think I'll say a million more.
Right now he has a ticket to go to Cda set for some time in March. I think it's fair for me to expect him to be going back so that he can complete the income taxes. Yes......I can see that happening, insha Allah! But for now? No, he's staying. He has no apartment there, he has no money there. What does he have?
His wife. The wife he keeps telling me that he doesn't want. That he married for a purpose. The one that he's arguing with on the phone all the time. The one he doesn't even live with.
Yes, that's what he has there. SubhanAllah! And really, I owe you all an entire post on my feelings for this wife. But for now.....
I just want to say Alhamdulillah. I see the beginning of my husbands dedication to his family, to his life here in Egypt. And I'm not going to think of the journey that has brought him to it, I'm going to think about the end. Because yes, I can see it now. And after 16 yrs of a good marriage....what's 2 years of turmoil? I've had more happiness than most. Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.
posted by Safa at 10:25 AM
23 Comments:
Allahu akbar! indeed!
I have been reading your blog for sometime and subhanallah, I have never seen a woman as you, mashallah. May Allah bless you and your family and all our prayers are with you. The *rat* is finally out!!!
2:17 PM
Alhamdulilah!!!!!!!!!
I don't know if you read my reply over on UmmHana's blog, but what I said was that it wasn't your fault that I was questioning things. I didn't know enough about Islam and I became obsessed with polygamy and the pain and the injustice. I just needed to learn more so I could understand from all perspectives. It wasn't your fault that you were the one feeling the pain.
PS this is Cherie
3:15 PM
I really don't know what to say, except that I'm so incredible happy for you, my dear Sister, that I'm getting a bit teary eyed reading your post....Allhamdulillah!
"Call upon Me, I will answer...." [Al Mum'in : 60]
3:26 PM
Salaam Alaikum,
Safa I really hope and pray everything plays out like you desire. If he gave his other wife 2 talaqs he would have to write a new contract and pay new mahr to take her back. I assume he and she have thought of that.
When I got the 2nd one I knew it was final -- Kuwaitis are 2 cheap to pay for teh same woman twice! LOL! The 3rd one just meant that it is out of reach of even his wildest (or mine) dream. There is soemthing to be said for knowing this.
Thank you so much for your sweet comment on my blog. That meant the world to me and I needed it.
Loce you,
PM
4:01 PM
Ignoring the other events, having rats in a home where there is a small baby is appalling..is there not a better place you can live with children??? Rats carry disease as well as the danger of biting...is this acceptable in egypt? I did not realize living conditions were like this...
7:04 PM
I'm afraid to breath a sigh of relief yet, for fear of jinxing things. I am glad that your mooding has lifted, and you and hubby are amiable once again....fingers crossed...
9:46 PM
Salaam Aleikum.
Al-hamdullilah.
I am so happy for you - of course you know this is down to me (!) I start reading your blog and hey presto! good news!! Please send payment via paypal!! Thank you.
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Seriously though al-hamdullilah may ALLAH help you live your lives as a complete family from now on.
2:21 AM
PM.....wait a sec....I'm confused. The sheikh told me that Hubby divorced MM twice, the second time being some time last december, he had some document confirming that. But since then, they got back together.....which the sheikh wasn't aware of.
Why would he have to remarry her? Isn't it that they can get back together before the iddah is up? I'm confused now.
But anyways....they are back together, that much I know. She sure isn't taking much breathing time in between her text messages. Sigh.
Anon 7:04: Ignoring your comment....the most important part of my post was NOT about the rats......sigh!!!!
DawnUK! Wishik halwa!!!
Cherie....LOL!!!!
Sara...tks for the link...I'll check it out!!
3:18 AM
Safa,
Mashallah glad to hear the good news. Since reading your blog I feel there are a lot of sisters in the bleachers cheering you on. As far as rats go, It's only natural for an animal to try to worm their way into a home that grants them a certain amount of shelter from the elements. I once had a squirell that took up residents in my attack and then took to scratching through the ceiling of the apartment I lived in. Imagine my horror when I saw a little hand scratch through and hang down from the ceiling! I think squirels are big rodents with fluffy tails.
Cherie,
When I first got married a year after becoming muslim, I couldn't stop devouring anything about divorce. I read books, listened to lectures, etc. My husband was beside himself asking what the interest was. I told him it was important for me to know my rights. It made him uneasy and he was always suggesting me read other texts.
4:44 AM
not about rats, about husbands... and what good is a husband that can't handle rats? quite literally and also in the bigger picture. I think you are better off when he is away most of the time and just sends money and visits with presents. he sounds like a big pain in the apples....
4:59 AM
as salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatuallahi
you are correct safa it is the 3rd talaq in which the man cannot marry the woman back unless she marries someone else and it has to be a consumated..
for the khulaq is where she has to give back the mahr and it he wanted to marry her back then a new contract and mahr has to be given.
(congradulations! May Allaah keep you and your family goodness in safety and well being aameen)
salaams
amatuallah
6:25 AM
Anon said:
"I did not realize living conditions were like this..."
Even the cleanest of homes in Egypt will be affected by pests of some sort. If I could chose between beating the occasional rat over the head (or kindly moving it to the desert) rather than laying down poison that the kids could get into, I'd chose the former. Maybe you should get a cat, S?
7:40 AM
Safa,
The way it has been explained to me by Sheikhs and a lawyer, as well as my ex-husband, is that after 2 talaqs a new contract must be written and that includes new mahr. After that point it is one more talaq and no going back -- unless she marries someone else first and the is single again. A woman can always forego mahr.... Makes me wonder what mahr she asked for to begin with.
BTW, are we talking RAT or mouse? I don't think I could handle either but RATS are definitely over the top for me! I'm impressed with you, babe!
Lots of love,
PM
PS: Do you hear from HA? I miss her and hope she is well.
9:34 AM
YAY!!!!!!!!
10:52 AM
as salamu alikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu ukht Safa,
MashaAllah wa Allahu Akbar...yaa khabr abyad!!! I am so happy for you habibti, may Allah az wa jaal preserve and increase ALL this goodness honey and May He, ta'Ala reward you for your efforts...ameen!!
5:17 PM
Safa, if the woman finishes her iddah and the man has not taken her back and it is a revocable divorce (meaning the first two times), in that case, if the man wishes to return to the woman(and the iddah has past and he didnt taken her back DURING the iddah), THEN he has to draw up a new contract.
IF however, he takes her back DURING the iddah, then no need for new contract BECAUSE during iddah she is still islamically his wife, no one can propose to her, and he is financially responsible for her.
6:11 PM
Oh safa, I know it feels good to have a CLEAN HOUSE!!!! Happy birthday my friend and birthday buddy, Inshaallah there will be no more rats in your home to bother your family again.
love you
7:30 PM
i think its your birthday on 1st november.
so happy birthday may allah blessed your life
9:23 PM
I'm really happy for you Safa. Happy you're seeing a glimpes of what is to come inshaAllah.
As for the rat, are there traps or poison you could place?
11:13 PM
Tks for the happy Bday.....
Why poison a mouse when you can beat the hell outta it?
Oh, it's a mouse, not a rat. I asked hubby.
Or rather....it WAS a mouse.
11:24 PM
Safa.. I'm surprised nobody really commented on your last comment. This is what I admire most about you.. that even after everything that's happened, you're able to look at the bright side "what's 2 years of turmoil? I've had more happiness than most. Alhamdulillah.".. That's just very admirable mashaAllah and I'm sure that Allah smiled up there ih heaven when you said that inshaAllah!! May He bless you and reward you for your persevernece and may He give us all patience like that!amen!
11:57 PM
salam alaikoum
"And after 16 yrs of a good marriage....what's 2 years of turmoil? I've had more happiness than most. Alhamdulillah." you are so right!
12:46 PM
haha, that was so funny reading about the mouse in the house. It reminds me of when I had a lizard come in our house and steered it out the door with a broom. Good times. haha LOL
I won't comment about the divorce taking into consideration that I do not know the other people's sides of the story nor is it very Islamic to wish for your sister or brother in Islam to be divorced. As the Prophet (saw) said: None of you truly believes until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself.
Not to offend...
6:36 PM
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