....another day.....

Hubby came home exhausted yesterday. Fell asleep after dinner. And after about an hour, his cell phone rings. He says salaam over and over again.....no answer. Finally he hangs it up, rolls back over to go to sleep.

I know it was her. She calls from her cell phone, which shows up private number on his cell.....and then hangs up to call back about 10 mins later with a phone card. I've seen it again and again.

10 mins later, his phone rings again. He answers. I'm folding laundry outside the door. I can hear him talking quietly. From my bedroom. Talking oh so quietly. And I'm not too pleased. I start putting the clothes away and walk into MY room. He looks at me....and I look at him as I pass by with my arms full of clothes.

I go out and get more clothes. He's still talking. And after 7 mins.....he hangs up. I totally ignore him. He gets up and goes to the bathroom. The kids are all studying in the livingroom. I go in one of the other bedrooms and start organizing the drawers.

Eventually, he walks in the room. He sits down. He asks me to do something on his cell phone. (sad start by him, but he wants to open discussion here) I look right at him, (ignoring the cell phone request)....and tell him.

"We have to work hard together to bring our family peace.....and I try to keep away things from you that upset you, I want you to be happy and peaceful at home. I know that you want the same for me....but by talking to your wife on the phone in MY house, it will only cause me upset and harm. I wish you'd stop it."

He gave some lame stuff..."what do you want me to do? She talks so much....blah blah"

"I cannot tell you what to do.....I can only say that this behaviour upsets me and if you want to help me, then you will avoid upsetting me"

So he makes some big show....Should I run outta the house with my cell phone in my hand when she calls? Should I??

I smirk at him and say..."personally, I'd just answer the phone and tell her I can't talk right now and to call back in 30 mins"

Then he gets all stupid....."What if I need to go to the bathroom and pray and 30 mins are up?"

Duh! So I say..."Tell her to call you back when you ring on her.....what's the problem?"

And then I said a mouthful....

"Look....it's your responsibility to help me make this home peaceful. And you've got to figure out how you are going to do it. I've been very sticky on this point for 2 years and I just can't give it up. When your wife is right in front of you, you've got to work VERY hard to keep that relationship on track.....cause thats who you have right in front of you. If you upset me when you are absent and upset me when you are present........what the heck are we doing? I just want to forget that there's another wife. I've told you this again and again....and you can't seem to manage it.....let me be happy, okay??"

Yes, I said it with some tears. I couldn't help myself. But I said it. I needed to say it.

He left to go pray and came back later....and I greeted him like nothing happened. I'm still in that calm place friends. How powerful it is to give up emotions!!!! If I'd have not said anything, I would probably be blubbering at my keyboard!!

So I check his cell.......

He called her an hour after he left home. Talked for a minute. Then she called him back. They talked for 27 minutes. And an hour after that, she sends two text messages to him. Back to back.

"How come when I talk to you and ask questions you don't answer me? Do my questions bother you that much? Do you want me to promise that you'll never have to hear my voice again? What should I do?"

"You have to believe that I've done the best that I can do. Your manner of talking to me tells me lots about you that I didn't know. I have problems too, u know. You have to be more forgiving"

A far cry from the "I love U" messages of yesterday.

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And so starts another day.........