Time to see.....
The call has been made.
And I made my request.
He was shocked.
He sounded depressed.
I wanted to cry, but I did not.
Could not. Would not.
And then the phone card finished.
He didn't call back.
And so, my future lies in the balance.
It's time for me to really see.
posted by Safa at 2:58 AM
22 Comments:
My heart goes out to you. I just recently fell upon your blog and I just have tremendous amount of admiration and respect for you. How you try to manage to keep eveything together for your children sake.
It's not easy to go through what you are going through, for that I commend you.
Lot's of dua for you and your family. May Allah make it easier for you and your family. Never lose hope in Allah and remember allah tests more the ones he loves the most.
3:48 AM
I pray that Allah strengthens and preserves you. You've done part of the hard work.
BTW - that picture is quite lovely.
5:56 AM
The picture so reflects my mood of the moment....seeing, but only a reflection of what is there, not the reality of it. I like that.....
6:39 AM
oh I feel for you, but reading this...I cannot help but feel a bit of relief too. I think it was about time for some decision making and since waiting for a man to make the right decision can take ages, this might have been the right move for you inshaa Allah. Now it's time for HIM to really see. You don't know what you got till it's gone... Maybe this might bring him to his senses, to see that time is actually running out and responsability has to be taken.
I hope the outcome of all of this will be positive for your family and will leave you with a bit of peace.
la tahzan, inna Allaha ma3ana
8:29 AM
I'm sorry you are going through this Safa, I will hold you in my prayers.
9:00 AM
Hang in there, Safa. I'm pullin' for ya.
9:07 AM
Wait...he didn't like call you right back...the more I hear about your husband the more upset I get. I mean at least pretend to fight for his marriage-jeez-what a jerk. You deserve sooo much better Safa-Wallahi-I pray that you see that as well.
11:43 AM
we started talking once...the card ran out....he got another one...and that's where I made my demands...it ran out...he didn't call back. We were done, really.....
I'm relieved....really....it's like I've been waiting for this moment forever.......
12:20 PM
Asalamlaaykom Stupendous Safa,
Do your best and leave the rest (to Allah)
1:02 PM
Just give him a chance for ur demands to settle in and u need a chance too to get the baby's papers straightened out...
By then enshaa Allah, he should have made his decision...
1:09 PM
Assalamu Alaikum!
I am so glad you finally got the courage to speak up for what is right for you and your children. Insha'allah he will see the light and come flying home...INSHA'ALLAH!
Time will tell!
2:38 PM
Safa, hang in there, do not weaken. I know a lot of thought and prayer has gone into this decision and you need to keep to the path that you decided on which is best for you and the kids. You are in my prayers.
4:42 PM
Asalaam Alaikum Sister,
As always you are in my dua. Inshallah things will be calm for you soon, and you will know where you are headed. You deserve so much more Sister, be confident and courageous, as I know you are.
May Allah bless you and your family, and give you strength and peace,
Aeryn
6:44 PM
so.. that is it.. you are in my prayers...i hope the best for you
i have been following your blog..and i realize that what you are going through is hard..but you are lucky to have these amazing children...may Allah help you to be able to get all your things together...amen
5:26 AM
The strangest thing.....he said that he would not take this sort of step at the moment and that it would be something he'd deal with when he came back.
I was stunned and didn't reply. Does that mean I am supposed to wait for a divorce when he makes it back to Egypt?
6:02 AM
Be proactive. Don't do it on his terms, do it on your own. You know he will just keep putting it off, as he's put things off until now. If you want to decide it, go to Canada and face him. You can probably get a divorce there if that's what it comes to, if the Imams give you your rights.
Hugs!
Anisah
6:12 AM
Dear dear Safa, You are in my du'a.
salamaat jamila
7:04 AM
Dearest Safa,
I feel your pain. You are an amazingly strong woman and mom. I would have never been able to survive everything you did. I was so deeply hurt to read how he has treated you. May Allah make everything right for you and give you rewards for what you have suffered. Your children are your strength. Let them inspire you in to taking the right step. I will be making passionate duas for your & your children's happiness. Nia
7:20 PM
salams safa
your picture reminded me of the scene in the quran when Sheba is visiting Solomon's court.
"...when she saw it, she thought it was a lake of water, and she (tucked up her skirts), uncovering her legs. He [Solomon] said: "This is but a palace paved smooth with slabs of glass." She said: "O my Lord! I have indeed wronged my soul: I do (now) submit (in Islam), with Sulayman, to the Lord of the Worlds." 27:44
I've always been drawn to this scene but couldn't figure it out... but when I think about it with my heart, it seems like: approaching a situation and feeling like it's something you're going to drown in... and then having the experience of finding your foot, inexplicably, suddenly, on solid ground. And feeling an overwhelming sense of Allah's mercy in that.
this is what came to me from that painting, and inshallah, I hope you can find some of that for yourself...
love to you
-sarah
8:16 PM
Masha Allah, Sarah! Yes...that's what this picture brings out in me as well. I have another picture like this, I believe....I'll post it especially for you.
We could all use a little of Allah's mercy.....
11:43 PM
*sigh* Oh Safa, we don't know each other, but my heart is just so heavy with grief from reading this post. I had been (and in a way still am) holding out hope for this man to come back to his senses. I just need to know that the man you described as "never drinking a can of pop outside the home" would always be that loving, caring family man who puts his family before himself. I want to believe that he has just lost his mind temporarily and will snap out of his stupor when he realizes his mistakes. Even after all the terrible things he's done, I still want to believe that good guys will always be good guys. You know?
2:08 AM
me too.
2:09 AM
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