On no soul.....
The Fajr passes thru Egypt. I sit with baited breath. Finally, after the sun has risen up high....I release it. Another day has come and gone....and still....I watch the sun rise on my sorrow. Insha Allah....that will change.
"On no soul shall We place a burden greater than it can bear...." Surah al Mumineen, ayat 62.
posted by Safa at 12:10 PM
8 Comments:
Assalamu Alaikum!
My my myyyyyy...
You are going to be so happy and smiling and just full or laugther very soon, we just won't know what to do with you!
INSHA'ALLAH! :)
4:48 PM
Assalamu alaikum, Safa, I'm not sure if I've ever commented here before. But I don't think that I have.
Iam not going to pretend to know how you are feeling, I can guess but I'm not you, I'm not in your shoes so I don't know. I'm not going to try to tell you what to do, because you have to make the decision that is best for you. However, the question I have is, what did you expect when you gave your husband this ultimatum? Did you prepare yourself for the possibility that he would not react in the way that you'd hoped?
Because it seems to me that most likely, you thought that once he knew that you were fed up, that you weren't going to take it anymore, that he'd just magicly come to his senses, come back to Egypt, and he'd be back to his old (monogamous) self again. And as much as I feel as though you want that to be true, it seems a bit unrealistic to expect that.
But who am I to comment? I'm just sitting here in America, I don't feel I know the whole story (not his side of it anyway and probably not all of yours). But all I want to say is, no matter what decision to me, you have to do what is best for you, and you have to make the decision best onthe here and now. What is really going on not how you wish it was. Not what you want your husband to be, or who he used to be, but what he is *now*. Perhaps he *was* a good husband, etc., etc. But if your accounts are true, and no reason to believe they are not, then he's not been, though I feel uncomfortable saying this, I feel as though I'm passing judgment on something I know hardly anything about.
Whatever the case, make the decision that is best for yourself and make it based on the reality, not the hope that things will get better, or the nostalgia and longing of how things used to be! Someone suggested talking to a local imam, perhaps that wouldn't be a bad idea, talk to someone knowledgeable who could advise you on things like this, becuase I don't think those of us online are much help, nor should we be. It seems this is something that should be dealt with be people more qualified to deal with these sorts of things and I'm definitely not that. But I felt I had to comment anyway. You and your family are in my thoughts and duas.
5:47 PM
Hang in there Safa. It's hard to see how much progress you are making when climbing up a steep mountain. But you are making progress! These posts are not the posts of a Safa I met last year! Hang in there...you CAN make it....for yourself...for your kids...
8:50 PM
Asalamalaykom Shutterstock Safa,
My little guy just ran over to me because The Count on Sesame Street scares him.
A muppet.
A muppet scares him.
Now, there's a lesson in that for you. Do you understand?
While my guy is climbing me, so that I protect him from the muppet on TV, do you get it?
Don't let the muppets scare you, Safa.
8:06 AM
it kills me to see you like this. you are my very bestest internet buddy. I feel guilty for finally feeling somewhat at peace with my situation because we started this together and you are still in limbo. I pray for you everyday. I want you happy and I want yuo to have peace no matter how youo get it. with him with out him it does not matter all I want for you my dear sweet friend is peace in your heart.
May allah guide you and help you and give you strength.
I love you
9:12 AM
still with you, safa...
Sarah
12:17 PM
LLL&I....tks honey....I wish you peace,too. Ameen to ur dua's.
"don't let the muppets scare you..."
Yes..that'll stick with me for awhile....
2:57 AM
Salaam Alaikum,
Ginny spoke for me beautifully. Be painfully honest with yourself Safa. Life is no fairytale -- but once you appraise the situation completely realistically you will discover that you can be happy again. You need to get your mind wrapped around new ideas and not focused on the past. The possibilities are endless -- whether remaining married to your husband or not.
Love you,
PM
10:31 AM
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