Rabbana arrab al Baeed....ameen!!

We got invited to an engagement party. My SIL's, sister's son. Got that? LOL! To be honest, I really didn't feel like going.....but I found out that the aroosa is actually a neighbour of ours at the villa. They live on the same court. So I figured it would be good to actually go.....and in fact, I bumped into one of the other neighbours there, who I like....her name is Safi...lol....but thats not the reason I like her. She has spunk. More spunk than I've seen in a lot of egyptian women. She's my next door neighbour, the villa beside mine. She's got a cool swing set and a slide in her front garden. Hmmmm....and I've got 4 kids.....LOL....good friend to make, eh?

So we were early and there was only me and another woman for a short while....she had 2 boys sitting beside her.....a baby and an older one. All my girls were off somewhere, except for the 9 yr old who was siting with us. Well this woman looks at my girls, before most of them ran off and then she says to me....You only have girls? I said, yes....and I'm pregnant with baby # 5.....so maybe we'll change that..... Well, she has 4 boys.....and she says....my hubby wants me to stop breastfeeding this one so that I'll get pregnant again and maybe get a girl, but I don't want to....I'm tired.....and it's too much on me. I told him that many men are married to 2, 3 or even 4 wives....that if he wants more kids he should go get married.....and maybe even divorce me if he can't afford it.

At which point my 9 yr old suddenly stood up. She was looking at this woman rather intensely....and she then leaned over and whispered in my ear...."I don't want to be in the room with the MEAN WOMAN!!!".....so I told her....okay, but we'll talk later. And she left. Oh my poor darling. Later when we talked, she said she didn't like the woman talking about more wives....and that she was scared that I'd bring up my husband. I told her that our business isn't everyone's business.......and that the woman can say whatever she wants to say. It still feels like I didn't say enough tho.

My 9 yr old is also having trouble in school. She used to be at the top of her class...but now her grades are suffering....and a couple of days ago, I got a letter from one of the teachers, she wants to have a meeting with me. I'm in shock about that. Masha Allah....for the last couple of years.....her marks have always been on top of the top.....in all subjects, she's never had an entire mark off. Like...99.5/100 or 99.7/100........but 99/100? NEVER. So this turn in her is scaring me. She's also started being mouthy.......which is a bigger shock......she's always been sooo quiet.

I have to think about how to deal with this right now.......

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So hubby called last night. I didn't mention anything about my rights....I didn't ask him if he called the Sheikh.....I'm gonna give him his 10 days. He just went on about how busy he's been......sheesh. He talked to all the kids.....and I told him about the deal with the 9 yr old. I used to keep things from him......sort of pad any problems that were going on......I think that's a mistake......when a man thinks that his life is just peachy......it's a pretty big shock to realize that things are only like that on the surface. So I've been actually telling him what's going on. He never has any solutions......his answer for everything?

"Just take it easy, don't upset yourself....insha Allah, everything will be okay."

You can't base a life on that.

Then for some reason....he called back again later....and I dropped another bomb.....I told him how the cannibal has changed. The cannibal is the sweetheart of her father. From 8 mos old, she made it very clear that her preference was her Baba. Sometimes I would bring her into bed and breastfeed her to sleep....she didn't fall asleep at the breast like the firstborn....she would eat her fill, and then roll over and hug her Baba. SubhanAllah. Well, when the cannibal was around 8 yrs old, she wanted to sing a song to her Baba, who was between sleep and wakefulness.....now I didn't catch the whole song.....but it was mostly about how much I love my Baba, etc etc....but one of the lines of her song, that stuck with me....well, with me and my husband....was the line....."My beautiful Baba, whose lips don't know how to say the word NO...." (to her, of course) Every so often, hubby and I remember that day. So yesterday I reminded him about it.....and then I told him what she had to say recently.

Hubby had talked to me about finally renovating the villa about 2 weeks ago.....some changes to the renovations....a time frame of when we'll be moving in.....and of course, I got all excited. So I went and talked to the 11 yr old about it.....saying, we are gonna do this, and do that....and this time its for real, cuz Baba said we are gonna start...etc etc. Well, she turned to me and said..."Mama, I don't want to upset you....but you know how Baba is and how he says things.....I don't want you to get all excited and be all happy, and then Baba make you suffer again". STOP. My kids blow me away.

So I told hubby that's what she said.....and he said....SHE SAID THAT? And I told him that she did....and that it made me sad to hear her say that, more than any of the other girls....cuz I know how much she idolizes him.

His reaction? Make Dua for me, Safa.....and then some other dua. Rabbana arrab al Baeed. May Allah bring closer what is far away. Ameen.

No more cotton padding here. I WILL get thru to him. Oh yeah....he told the 9 yr old that he doesn't know when he's coming.....which means the Eid visit is out the window....sheesh. 5 more days to go....and then I get serious on him. But I'm waiting...pregnant or not.

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Oh yeah.....I wanted to tell you all about the engagement party.....well, we drove over to the aroosa's house.....and they had rented chairs and stuff, and somehow I got myself backed into this corner and was sitting there. When they finally started handing out the sweets I was sorta amazed about how it was being done. I think it would have been easy if they would have passed plates along, with each person passing, until everyone has. But the thing in Egypt is.....once you are handed a plate, it's yours. LOL! When I finally got my plate, I lucked out and got chocolate cake.....

Another funny thing is about the pop. Okay....small bottles of pop cost $1 LE each....now they make something called the Missile....(sarookh) which is a larger bottle of pop....prolly around 300 ML.....it costs $1.50 LE.....and a can of pop costs $1.75 LE. Pop costs money in Egypt. But look at how egyptians look at it. It's okay to hand out the regular size pops....but handing out the Missile sizes is better and if you really want to look good.....buy cans instead. I wonder if I subscribe to that mindset now? I come from a country where cans of pop are ridiculously inexpensive.....but here....it's costly. Can you imagine having 50 guests at ur place and paying $100 US for the pop only? That's ridiculous.....and that's what it feels like here, when you buy cans of pop. But it's the prestige of it.....nothing else.

Somehow, I think we have to fight that.....more money doesn't mean more prestige......it's about being a good person, generous.....the way you carry yourself....being a good example among your fellow muslims.....but because you bought me a $2 can of pop....don't expect me to be impressed. I'd rather that extra $1 go somewhere else.....really. Prestige is such a big thing here.

You'd never find a plumber being friends with a doctor. You'd never marry your pharmacist doctor to a lawyer. NO WAY! Lawyers are among the worst professions here......because the university is paid for......all lawyers have to get is a finals test result of 55%. Where a DR is like....98%.....a pharmacist is 92.5%.....etc etc. Lawyers aren't respected here. Heck...one of my nieces is a lawyer. Her marks were awful, and she wasn't even going to go to university....but then she decided that having ANY degree is better than none. Sheesh!

So about the POP....so I don't lose my point. When one of my daughters gets engaged....insha ALLAH.....if we actually make it past this rough spot......remind me about the pop. Serving cans isn't the point, okay? Just in case I forget.

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My SIL pulled a fast one on me yesterday. When we were leaving from her sisters place to go to the aroosa's house, she got all the kids....which is my 4, her daughter, and her nephews' 2 daughters....and brought them over to my car and told me that I'm taking all the kids. I was sorta surprised....and I looked at her and said..."I'm taking all the kids?" So she backtracked and said....well, I'm going to come with you in your car...so it'll be okay. So I agreed, based on that. Then a couple of minutes later, I look around for her....and there she is in another car sitting with her sister. Oh yeah...she's coming with me, is she? I hate it when she jokes on me. So I ended up with all the kids, my own kids crushed between everyone else....I should have said no. I should have said....now my kids aren't comfortable....someone is going to have to take some of them in another car.....I should have said anything....instead of sitting in my car, fuming, with crying kids all in the backseat. I HAVE GOT TO LEARN TO SAY NO!!!!