son of a nutcracker....!!!!!!!

I don't know what happened. Since hubby forgot my bday and made that little quick call....I was expecting him to call me back. He didn't.

And for some reason.....it's been bugging me. Is the issue just over with him? Who the hell cares? But....subhanAllah......its eating me. So at Fajr here in Egypt...(cuz we are about 6 hours ahead of you)....which is 10 pm in Canada....I sent the following text.....

"How come you didn't call me back? I wish somebody would just slap me."

He called me about 10 mins later. Asked me whats wrong and stuff. Oh he was too busy to call me again. Didn't have the time...prolly more like didn't think of it. So I found the way he was talking to me strange...low voice....being quiet...so I asked him where he is....at his apt he says....alone? I asked....nope. Ahhhhhhh.............that's why he's talking so quiet.

So basically I told him that our time in this dunya is only passing and that maybe we'll all die tomorrow...and that I was reminding him of my rights...and as we come up to 2 mos without him, that he should be thinking about that. To which he answered...I'm stuck right now....like usual.

I also told him that spending so much time with the other wife was not healthy for their relationship either.....that when we came to Canada that she couldn't even leave him alone......and that the more he spends with her and the less with us...the more dependant she becomes and that affects all of us.

I told him that even though I don't call him all the time....doesn't mean that I don't need him. That I understand he's got business.....and that even with me managing my life.....it isn't easy without him.....and that half the time I don't think he needs to know when the kids fart. I try to relieve him of pressure when I handle the little things on my own.

I told him about the picture frame.....I haven't told you guys right? Well, my mom gave me three picture frames....little ones. One looks like a zebra, and a lion and a camel. So my cannibal put a pic of her Baba in the lion frame and brought it to show me. And I laughed and told her....UR BABA IS A LION!!!! And you know what she said to me? Yeah, Mama....and a lion doesn't sleep with one woman either. SHOCK! I nearly swallowed my tonsils. She apologized immediately....but I was hurt. See how deep this runs? I just didn't know how to respond to her.....maybe if her father was here...he would have known what to do immediately.....but I didn't. I was too hurt to see. SubhanAllah.

So I started crying.....I'm such a softie....and can't handle the pain much anymore.....I hate being alone here in Egypt.....you know what sucks? I was trying to be so brave around my Mom in Canada...cuz I didn't want her to find me weak and jump all over me.....but what I really needed was to sit down and cry my eyes out.

Hubby sorta got upset at one point....when I told him that I don't believe he'll ever make it to egypt scot-free. He's like why not? And I said he has to be realistic.....you can't be commiting sin, yet expect Allah to reward you with what you want......that even if he made it outta Canada....he's got lots to deal with at home. Me and his kids.....he started yelling....U WANT TO TELL ME MY LIFE IS DESTROYED??? I answered calmly......I don't want to say that..and cannot say that.....but you have to be realistic....you have a long path in front of you.....I don't see you coming home the victor.

Oh peoples......I need a reminder.....

"Every soul will be (held) in pledge for its deeds" (Qur'an 74:38).

"And among His signs is this: That He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest, peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect." (Qur'an 30:2 1).

"...But consort with them in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein God has placed much good." (Qur'an 4: l9).

Hadith: The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives. (Ibn-Hanbal, No. 7396)

Hadith: "It is the generous (in character) who is good to women, and it is the wicked who insults them."

Okay....there are some quotes for me to look over.........and maybe you as well. It's a reminder......it's what I need......