an epiphany.....
OMG....I just realized something.....I realized why I don't like cleaning the kitchen....
It's been about a month....and you have to DRAG me into the kitchen.....I don't want to wash dishes.....I don't want to wash the floor in there.....I'm not cooking every day. What am I doing? Well......if I don't cook dinner, instead ordering out....I don't even GO into the kitchen. If I am cooking, I wash dishes while I cook....trying to get in and out as fast as possible. I haven't been washing the floor at all.....it's horrible. I just don't want to be in there. I haven't even been getting the maid to come like usual....things are going soooo downhill. (yes I still have a mountain of laundry that absolutely refuses to wash itself!!!!)
So today I had a clear mind and went and started the kitchen attack. I think the 10 day thingy is clearing my mind....I'm not whining at hubby.....I'm just listening to him and internalizing my own little voice for now. Only for now. Just wait till the 10 days are up.....KA-BOOM!!!! Hahaha! So there I was with this clear mind, started washing dishes...picking up things from here and there, wiping off counters....threw some bad stuff outta the fridge....planning tonights dinner menu......ohhhh I gotta share that.
Deboned Chicken legs fried with jalapeno peppers, garlic and a dash of chili powder. When its completely done, you turn off the heat and throw romaine lettuce on it. No, really. You cut the big flowery ends off the romaine lettuce and cut up the stalky part....when you mix it in at the last moment, it adds this flavour and in less than a minute has wilted into the food. Sometimes I add it with my stir fry and call it Bok Romaine...Ohhh.....lol....I kill me. So I made curried basmati rice to go with the spicy....SUPER spicy chicken...OMG....and I made a yoghurt, coriander, cucumber and garlic thingy to go with it. If the dish is too spicy, you spoon the yoghurt on it. Can you say YUM?? (I bet you said it!)
So where was I? Oh yeah...the clear mind. So I was going good....and somewhere between washing the plates to washing the cutlery....I started thinking about hubby. It went sorta like this....
How long has it been? 2 months already? Where has the time gone? And now he's saying he doesn't know when he's coming....prolly not even coming in Eid....AGAIN!! What is that? The 3rd Eid? That sucks. Another Eid he gets to spend with MM while the kids suffer here without him...last Eid sucked the big one.....oh that's something to look forward to again...an Eid full of crying kids and broken hearts....I hope he's happy..!!! And he doesn't even make any effort right now....just keeps saying that insha ALlah, it'll all work out. For him? Is that what he wants....it all to work out for him? For him to have the best of the best, while we are dragging our feet?...........
And then at one brilliant moment...I said to myself....OH I HATE WASHING DISHES!! And threw the sponge in the sink.....and before you can say "Peanut Butter Sandwiches", it dawned on me. When I spend a long amount of time quietly, I start to think and start to cry and start to feel bad...and where does that happen to me the most?
In the kitchen.
So I guess I found an answer......and I'm sorta surprised by it. I guess I have to figure out a way to keep my kitchen spic n span without having to spend more than 10 mins in there. LOL....that's a joke!!! Looks like it's time to pawn off the dishes on the kids.......yup....way over due.....
posted by Safa at 9:55 AM
13 Comments:
Darlin', don't you have a maid???
When a man opens his heart and mind to having more than one wife, he is making a conscious decision to short-change a lot of people. His own greed and selfishness will take a place of greater importance than any feelings that the women in his life or his children ever will.
Damn, I think I gotta go blog that little bit of wisdom! LOL!
take care, sweetie,
PM
10:18 AM
Audiobooks. I listen to audiobooks on my IPOD to distract myself from just running through random depressing thoughts while doing housework... Not that I don't still avoid it, but it does help. But getting the girls to help would be good for you and them in the long run. The more they ease into taking care of things around the house the more natural it will be for them when they are out on thier own. I never did house work growing up... And I suck at it.
10:41 AM
salam alaikoum
I thought you didn't like to spend time in the kitchen because of weird food smells and pregnant and all :)
Your post touched me for reasons I will not talk about in public. But it is just like you said- someone working for the best of the best while the rest of us are dragging our feet. You said something about my life in that sentence. Thank you for using words I did not have.
12:09 PM
YOU NEED FLYLADY!!! :)
Really, you shouldn't do more than 15 minutes at a time and rotate between jobs... check out her website, its really great : flylady.net
I am a flylady groupie, but her method is the only one that gets my house sort of nice without martyr cleaning.
2:37 PM
AA Safa,
can u distract yourself with something while u clean up, listen to radio program, lecture tapes, something that will stimulate your mind and not let it drift?
6:21 PM
I am going to try the chicken, sounds yummy!
I hope that your hubby comes to his senses soon, men. Hugs.
7:20 PM
PM.....yeah, u go blog that wisdom....that needs an audience of its own....masha Allah!!
Aoife.....I have flylady....she's filling up my inbox with daily reminders to shine the sink, put on my shoes, drink my water and go to sleep.....LOL!!!
Jamila.....yeah....I had music playing actually....Alicia Keyes....in fact, the song that was playing was girlfriend...."I think I'm jealous bout ur girlfriend, oh boy...she's just a girl that is a friend...." OMG....such a bad choice of music....
Audio books in Egypt..?? I think I have an audio book here tho...frankenstein...LOL!!
I have a maid, but I've not been getting her lately while I try and sort myself out. She's going to be making fateer today...YUM!!
11:03 PM
If I had a maid, my life would be soooo much easier! I am not a good Arabic wife and I never will be (this isn't meant to be patronising to any Arab women reading!). It's just I didn't grow up with housework being a priority and I never learnt to cook...and to some, this means I'm not a true woman! Alhamdulillah my womb works or I'd really be in trouble!
maybe i can make a recipe book from your blog!
11:20 PM
hi safa
hope u feel better soon. by the way i also have a mountain of dirty clothes and it rained last weekend. im gonna get someome to do it for mew cos its piled up now
1:30 AM
LOL I divorce my husband every day while washing dishes....
4:52 AM
Ignore the stupid reminders... read the nice stories and stuff...
When you clean next (like later today or tomorrow!), set a timer for 15 in the kitchen. do whatever you can: wash something, clear off counters, etc. when the timer goes off, LEAVE THE ROOM AND DO SOMETHING ELSE. You can do that two or three times then take a 15 minute timed break. It does work.
I hate how out of control my house gets and it is overwhelming to me. I can get it clean in small bits at a time.
5:12 AM
There really is a lot to be said for the sunna of not having many household objects. If i was to start out in my house again, it would be very minimal...there's so much less to clean, so much less to be destroyed by children.sometimes i just dream about having a few mattresses and plates and spoons! but this wouldn't make those who are impressed by the prestige of the softdrink can happy! and there are plenty of this type around me,complaining that i don't have matching plates!
1:07 PM
You could join an audiobook download club if you have an MP3 player (expensive in Egypt though, huh?). I joined a club because buying them costs too much.
11:03 AM
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