peace and quiet....and some lonely contemplation.......

I converted to islam some 17 yrs ago, masha Allah. I converted with two sisters, one of them egyptian and the other a french-canadian. May Allah bless them and grant them Jennah Al Firdous. Ameen. I've kept up a relationship with the egyptian sister over the years, and every summer when she comes to Egypt, we always get together. She's been at my house with her daughters, I've gone to hers, we've met up at weddings, her daughters engagement party....alhamdulillah, my relationship with the Egyptian sister has been ongoing. She is a wise woman, who I love dearly and I trust her completely, and love her level of Eman. Masha Allah. When I left Egypt last month to come to Canada, her and I had talked a couple of times, (she was in Egypt) but I didn't get the opportunity to see her before I left. So she arrived back in Canada a few days ago, and I called her on Saturday. I asked her if I could come over. (she's aware of my situation, somehow from outside....I've brought her up to date tho) So I left the girls with my Mom and took my niece and my 11 yr old, and went to visit her.

Her and I went for a nice long walk and discussed my issue. She agrees that leaving right now would not be in the best interest of everyone. She also says to me that discussing my rights and my hubby's lack of fulfilling them is an argument that is falling on deaf ears. He sees himself as doing his best, and that is that. She told me to focus harder on the kids and when talking with hubby avoiding saying "I...ME....MYSELF". She told me that my hubby is not on a level of Eman to understand some of the things I am saying to him. I agree with that. For me, its so cut and dry.

You have two wives, you can't be fair cuz of external circumstances....so do you risk the hellfire? I say, you bring the situation into perspective where you can be fair....or u get rid of one of them. That means.....if we stay in Canada, he can be fair.......if we go back to Egypt...he can't. So I make a deal.....either I stay and he be fair, or I go back and he divorce wife # 2. LOLOLOLOLOL!!! (women's brains, my friends)

She also made me feel better, did I say that? So we got home late at Mom's house. Mom was upset......next morning, my niece wanted to leave, so I took her to the bus station, and on the way home, I get a phone call from my Egyptian sister. She's at the French-Canadian's house and they want to see me. I tell them I'll call back. And then, subhanAllah, I find myself right at her exit on the hwy....so I call back not even 2 secs later and tell them I'm on my way. I haven't seen this french canadian sister for about 16 yrs. She went to Kuwait, I went to Egypt, she came back to Canada, when I got back, she had left to Syria.....I went back to Egypt again, she came back to Cda....subhanAllah. But want me to share the last time I saw her? You won't believe this.

I was in Saudi Arabia in 2000 making Hajj. As I was walking between Safa and Marwa.....I stood at Safa and was making dua.....I started making dua for all the people that I knew....and then I started thinking about the french-canadian....and made many dua for her, for bringing me to islam. When I finished...I started on the way to Marwa....and SubhanALLAH! Who do I find in my face???? I'm not kidding. I ran up to her, hugged her and told her....I was just making dua for you...subhanAllah. Allah is Glorious!

So I arrived, and it was just like I saw her only yesterday....we talked, chit chatted....and then they wanted to "talk". They were so serious and caring. Masha Allah. It was nice realizing that these were actually the two sisters who had helped me find my religion.....had also found my husband for me. And now, here they were, trying to help me save my marriage. It was a good visit.

I spent the remainder of the day with mom...she advised me as well.....LOLOLOLOL!!! I love the advice from Mom, but she's an old HEN.....and she wants me to start sqwacking.....(sp?)......it's so unlike me......

I called Hubby before I went to see the French-Canadian, so last night he was dying to know what happened. I told him very little.....and I know I left him very unsatisfied....tonight, if Allah Wills, I will start on him with the I can't leave you speech.......oh man.......