...finding a new path....
I've spent some time away from the blog.....its been an interesting time for me. After reading all the comments I'm blown away and even amazed.One of the things that I have to admit, is that I love PM! You rock girl!
~~~
In a previous post I was asked a question.....about choosing a great non muslim or a bad muslim....and in a fit of weakness, I backed up. But I knew EXACTLY what my answer was to that. Kafira even called me on it saying I disappointed her. Many times I thought about going and commenting myself and saying..."I'M A JELLY BELLY!" or something like that. Weakness sucks.
~~~~
In answer to the comment about the look on the ex's face.....he's in Morocco right now.....having a big wedding with MM.....a proper wedding with her parents in attendance cause she missed out on that. He called for the first time last weekend......I wasn't home, but he talked to the kids.....and then he had a question for the 14 yr old....
"is it true that you took off your scarves?"
Yeah, that's what he called for. First time for the kids to hear from him since May 31, 2008. He didn't mention the wedding. In fact, he was probably calling from Morocco. It was MM's ex who told me about it.
"is it true that you took off your scarves?"
Yeah, that's what he called for. First time for the kids to hear from him since May 31, 2008. He didn't mention the wedding. In fact, he was probably calling from Morocco. It was MM's ex who told me about it.
~~~~
Soooooo truth is.....there was someone just coming into my life back when I had that comment from Kafira....well, he'd been around for a bit, but suddenly, we were pushing forward. And when faced with that question, (which I had already laid in bed thinking about).....I chose the path of weakness, even tho my heart wasn't in it. Rather I was parroting what I had been taught many years ago.
I'm just not on that "perfect" path anymore. Instead, I'm on the path of righteousness. I look for the good in all things of Allah's creation, big and small. I revel in each new day that makes me feel like a "whole" person.......and accept the love that is given to me, whether from muslims or otherwise. In fact, it's the same path I've been on for awhile, I've only just stepped it up.
My best friend isn't muslim, did you all know that? We were friends in Egypt and have continued that friendship in Canada......we've cried tears on the phone together and shared laughs as well. I give her my love and I accept hers. Just because Egianqueen isn't muslim hasn't changed anything between us ever. And it wont. (I love you babe!)
I'll remain muslim, even if a wayward one. I know of others in a mixed relationship who still consider themselves muslim.
~~~
About Mr. Anonymous.
He's the most gentle, supportive and loving man I've ever dreamed of. The kids have met him and they love him. (and he loves them)..... He's treated me like a queen and thinks I'm superwoman. We've talked so much and I'm surprised at how easy conversation flows between us. He shows me caring and intimacy unlike anything I've ever experienced. He helped me wash the dishes and when Jason Mraz came on the radio while I was washing, he made me put down my sponge and told me..."dance with me...." Yes, we danced in the kitchen and the dishes laid there forgotten.
(He carved his pancake into a heart for me when we were eating them with fresh maple syrup......)
The relationship is moving slowly, gradually a step at a time... It feels wonderful and glorious.....and no petty comments about the whole muslim/non muslim is going to make me think twice.........~~~~~
I'm yourrrrssssssss.........................
posted by Safa at 6:13 PM
66 Comments:
Salamu alaykum, I'm speechless!
8:18 PM
Salaams Safa - You have been through more than most people and still manage to have that wonderful smile on your face. You amaze me and make me smile. :)
As for the ex, well, I am not going to touch that with a 10ft pole. You know how I feel about him and MM. Enough said. But I am glad that you were not around for his phone call. Sometimes it's best just to not be around for that. Know what I mean? As for the scarves comment, chalk it up to him trying to get some control of the situation that he can't and move on. He is not worth it.
I don't think there is any perfect path. I don't believe that there isn't anything perfect but God. If you have thought about this for a long time and feel that in your heart that it's right, then go for it. Darn it, you need someone to make you smile. To make you feel wonderful and full of bliss. It just happens that he isn't Muslim. So what? You know, it is hard enough to find a nice guy these days, let alone a nice normal Muslim guy. So if you found happiness with Mr Anon, then good for you!
What gets me is that as you said, there are many mixed relationships. I feel more of the times, it's ok when a man does it, but when a woman does it, all heck breaks loose.
As for Mr Anon, I think he rocks. :) He seems super cool.
You know that whatever you do, you have my full support.
Love ya!!!!
10:01 PM
I am SOOOOO happy for you. You deserve only the best, someone who treats you and your kids as they should be treated, love it that you dance in the kitchen - AWESOME. I truly believe that God/Allah judges everyone by what is in their hearts - that is what counts. You are and always will be my 'soul' sister - we have been friends forever - just took us a while to find each other again. I am doing a little dance of joy for you in my heart. Take care - and please do not leave us hanging so long again. Love ya, miss ya.
10:21 PM
Im going to be honest with you: I think, that you are loosing a large portion of your readers, Safa.
But..not me.
Many times I agree with you, sometiems I don't, but then there is always an admiration in me, that you are able to stand by ypur decisions and take responsability.
Im sure, 100% sure, that many muslimahs are going through on the same path as you in some point of their lifes. and Im also sure, many hide it, or feel ashamed for what they are thinking...Thats why I find it amazing, that you write about these spiritual journeys.
Is it the time for coming out?:) Safa, you are not alone...:) I also had to think about thw "bad muslim-vs. good kafir" dilemma, remember, I asked you too...I also choosed the second one - the thing that links us together is that is also an ardent montheist..happens to be a religious Jew:))) nah can you beat that?????????
And we are happy.
2:37 AM
I find it funny if I'm losing readers you know? When I was writing about the ex and all our troubles, I had a huge readership......and now that I write.....HEY! I'm HAPPY!!.....friends are leaving me too.....LOOOOL!!
It's the ones who stay that perservere with me that I love......tolerance!
We have to just with the best for each other and accept each others view of what the best is.....
5:39 AM
Safa,
You deserve some happiness and some unrestrained joy!
Poo on anyone who would begrudge it to you.
With a young relationship, you never know how it will end up, but rooting for you to get what you want and you need for sure!
7:32 AM
OMG, I can't believe his guts! 'Have you taken off your scarves'... if he's so concerned about it, why didn't he take care of the children in the first place!
You go, Safa. You're mature enough and have been through enough to know what's right for you. God knows its more of a danger to one's deen if one has to face life's trials alone than with someone even if he be an theist/or whatever as long as he's a decent man, InshaAllah.
@ readership, people thrive on other's misery... or maybe most people just feel happy for you and don't find anything to say to add to it? Just a thought.
Love,
Cherie
7:53 AM
Salaam Alaikum Babe,
Loved catching you for the chat today and love the way you wrote this. All I can say is: Allahu Akbar! Allah is indeed great and I know He will guide you on the path that is right for you.
Safa, I love and admire you so much it is beyond words. Savor every minute of the happiness you find.
Love,
PM
8:10 AM
I am so glad for you, that you are happy and finding your own path that's right for you. If you are losing readers, bah to them! We can have you all to ourselves haha.
Hubbex is an asshole for just calling about the damn scarves. Does he ever wonder what his kids have been eating or what is putting a roof over their heads?
Lots of hugs!
Anisah
9:20 AM
Safa, i'm so happy for you. what a sweet sweet man... all those little things he's doing for u just melt my heart. and it's wonderful that the kids like him as well.
as for the ex... i just hope the kids are able to handle these little moments when their father pretends to be interested in their lives. how does he even summon the nerve to call them after so long and challenge anything that they are doing.
big hugs to you and the kids!
11:41 AM
p.s. u look fantastic! love the furry hat :)
11:42 AM
I can't speak for anyone who reads your blog. But I do know one thing: sometimes it is easier to criticize someone who is making a HUGE, scary (albeit fabulous) change in their life, because you fear that perhaps that person will soon be in a place that is better for them, and therefore no longer be able (or willing) to be a victim with you. I am very proud of you for doing what is good for you and the kids, and pray for you everyday that you find heart-shaped pancakes. :)
12:04 PM
I am glad you are so happy! So what if you lose readers? at the end of the day what is important is that you are happy not what others thinks, you life your life for yourseld, not for your readers:-)
About your ex...what an idiot.Enough said.
Enjoy ;-)
12:31 PM
BTW, it might be too painful now, but you should go back and look at your blog sometime through the beginning of the archives. You might sympathize with the woman writing it, but you DEFINITELY won't see yourself in her...it is INSANE. Such growth!
3:27 PM
i feel really happy for you Safa.good for you.all the best wishes.
3:46 PM
Salamu alaykum,
Well for me this whole scenario is remniscent of something that happened to someone close to me and the end result was very distressing so I feel a little sense of deja vu and I recall in the past doing nothing and then having regrets. She had a similar story without the polygyny of being married at 19 to a dominant husband and 4 children in succession only to divorce 12 years later. Then in went the non-muslim boyfriend and friends, then she felt the prayer wasnt meaningful anymore, and then her great kafir boyfriend who gave her everything her muslim husband had not strangled her and Allah know's best if she had time to repent.
Stories like this make me think that this life is too short to waste it on frivoulous enjoyment and the time in the grave is long, and while the hard road might be hard inshallah the reward in the end is greater. I think it is all good and well to find a man who will make you happy in this life, but don't let him ruin what you have been striving for in the next life. At the end of the day, you live your life and only you but you have a lot of followers who look to you for guidance and right now I think if you really wanted to you could do better. I had non-muslim boyfriends when I first became muslim so I'm not one to throw stones. I remember trying to get them to convert especially when the deadbeat muslims without jobs or futures were throwing proposals my way. May Allah guide you to what is good for you in this life and the next. Ameen. May Allah bless you with a spouse who will believe in Allah and will treat you as his queen. Ameen. I know its been hard Safa, I really know but I also know you are strong and I know Allah loves you, so I know He hasn't forsaken you, so hold on to this deen, and strive for the hereafter, as you never know when you will die.
Al hamdulilaah the only thing Allah doesn't forgive is shirk so there is hope for all of us inshallah as we all sin night and day.
4:36 PM
I'm so happy to see that smile.
6:01 PM
Safa,
This ride you are on called life, I'm seeing a joyous, happy woman. I'm not finger-pointing any one religion, so please no hate mail. Allah/God loves all his creations. Do any of us have divine authority from Allah to say whom will see the pearly gates of paradise? Being Muslim, Christian, or Jew we are of the Book. Isn't it wonderful to feel appreciated and needed and wanted again? This time your on an even playing field in Canada. I say, BE HAPPY :)
6:40 PM
my dear, I have only one thing to say. Screw it all. You deserve this happiness. I want you to revel in it...enjoy each laugh, smile, feeling sexy, being loved, taken care of... enjoy it!!!
this is what you were meant for...
8:09 PM
tks Lost.....that means a lot to me...... We've met in person everyone.....she's precious!
8:58 PM
Safa I want to first say how very happy I am for you. I am thrilled. I remember my own (similar) journey and the feelings of being free and in control (to the degree any human is really in control of their life) of the changes and choices. The freedom and growth bring awesome feelings. And the growth will not stop.
Who you are now isnt who you were one year ago, and wont be who you are a year from now. Life is continuous change and reevaluation. Dont ever be afraid to acknowledge the changes that have taken place and the ones that will come later on. You dont have to be pigeon-holed into one mode of thinking/living. Life will teach you many things and it's a constant reassessment process. Only you can live YOUR life.
I just wanted to say that no one can walk your path except you. The choices you make and how they turn out...good, bad, whatever, it's your path and only you can make the trek. Sometimes we have to go far away from the life we have lived previously in order to view it from a distance, from a different perspective. It takes courage to step out of what you know and venture into the unknown.
Dont ever feel you must live on life or another--that you have only two choices. Blend everything you are with all the new experiences you are having and just be unapologetic you.
The only true constant in life is Allah, and He is the only One with the right to judge you. He is also the best One to turn to--in good and bad, joy and sorrow. Just take your own journey, keeping Allah with you always. The only thing non-negotiable in my mind is that you have to make your trek with full belief in Allah's being there for you always. In this way, no matter where life takes you, you'll never feel alone.
I love you girl!
11:45 PM
I am really happy for you, and i like it much better when you blog about how your quality of life is improving.
12:07 AM
I'm so happy for you! And for those who have negative comments, well, they have not walked in your shoes! It's very easy to judge when it's someone else.
You continue to be an inspiration and hope he continues to make you so obviously happy!
12:13 AM
The only thing that I Can comment on is the fact that the jerk hasn't seen or talked to his children in 10 months. 10 MONTHS!
My husband hasn't seen our son in 11 months...not by choice but because of a really crappy situation. My husband hurts every day that he is not here. What kind of heartless bastard doesn't see or talk to their children for that amount of time and then only calls to ask about scarves.
I wish I could say I'm shocked. I'm just absolutely disgusted.
I may not agree with you on everything safa, but I can say that you are much happier this year than you were last year and that makes me happy as well.
5:56 AM
safa. take a look a pics of yourself before and after. youve always been beautiful but this new pic? you are glowing and happy and alive. you were always so reserved in other pics of yourself. what a difference in your life.
your husband. god. he has the money to travel all over the world and make MM happy yet he foresakes his beautiful children. he never deserved you.
please tell me how his favorite child is coping....has she finally gotten over the notion that dad is the most wonderful and settled well into life in canada?
as far as losing readers lol. oh well. i actually wrote a post a while back in my blog. fairweather readers they are. they only read and post if its something negative and treacherous. once things seem sunny, theyre not so interested anymore.
have fun and live life safa. we all deserve to be happy.
5:57 AM
safa I am happy for you!! big hugs from Holland
8:47 AM
I am happy that you are hapy safa but i cannot help feeling like Allah is mad testing you right now.
I hope everything works outwell for you.
as for ex: in one ear, out the other. press the ignore button right.
10:14 AM
I wonder if anyone here has the guts to actually say they disagree with you? I do.
May Allah guide you, me and us all to what pleases HIM and not what pleases our nafs, ameen.
1:03 PM
Muslim Wife;
Salaam Alaikum. I am a very gutsy lady and would certainly have the "guts" to disagree if I felt it. I do not agree with you on this issue and I have the guts to tell you :-)
You are certainly welcome to your own beliefs but don't think people who don't see things the way you do are gutless.
Regards,
PM
1:10 PM
same here...wishing her happiness isnt being afraid to disagree with her. who are we to question her life anyway? who are we?
1:39 PM
salaam aleikum,
just passing by, still reading, don't know what to say.....
just: take care....
Allah yahdiki wa yahdina....
salaam maryam/oem omar
1:56 PM
I am so happy for you Safa, truly happy for you, and happy you have found a beautiful relationship with a man who respects you! You are a beautiful woman both inside and out and deserve only the best, you dont have to prove yourself to muslims or non muslims. You have to make yourself happy for a change, and my goodness sexy mama, you are doing it!!
3:17 PM
Just thinking about PM and her being gutsy......you must remember that she was the one soooo long ago who advised me that if I was on the pot I better to choose to either sh*t or get off.....LOOOOL!
Yes, gutsy readers I do have.....
8:43 PM
Asalaam alaikum Safa...I got a chance to get on the blog again today, I don't know if u got my e-mail or not but I have been thinking of you and your family a lot since I have read of your decision to not wear hijab and to allow the girls not to either.
I am sorry if I am considered all late with this, but I think it is never too late to do a duty, and it IS MY DUTY to remind you. I support you, I think of you a whole lot, I want that ease that Allah promises to come to you...I want you to heal and be happy. BUT I don't support clear WRONG, and cannot fathom why other muslimas have supported it either. Taking off your hijab is not permissible, and it is not ok. And to let the girls do it at their tender young ages...Safa, I promise you, I am not judging you or wanting you to remain unhappy. When faced with trials, we are to continue, and even increase if necessary, our ibadah and our duties to Allah SWT. There is no compromise in those things. No matter how long it takes through a test to get out of it, to get out of a certain rough phase in life, Allah is always with us, always watching, and we cannot take back our bad choices...and it's not like you just DON'T KNOW!! You do know, you have written about it, and I think I read something to the effect that you are willing to face the consequences!!!!!!!!! A'oothu billah!!!!!! SubhanAllah.
Anyway, like I said, I am not judging you in the least, I just really REALLY want you to do what you know is correct in the path of Allah, not do what you KNOW is incorrect. Allah is not pleased with His servants when they are disobedient.
I love you for the sake of Allah, I want what is best for you and the children. May Allah guide you on the straight path, ameen. I hope you email me back, inshaAllah. I used your yahoo account...the "surah" etc...
4:53 AM
You know what guts are? It's the nerve to stand up against an establishment (even one you believe in with all your heart) when you know that something is just right. Or just very, very wrong. You look happier in this photo than I've ever seen you, Safa. Onward and upward, my dear.
9:30 AM
Salam alaikum wa rahmatallah Safa -
I've been following your journey over these years and so proud and relieved for you when you escaped with your heart and your health and your beautiful children intact, and so pleased when you began to put down roots and grow strong in a new life for your family. I'm delighted to see new light in your eyes and on your face, and hear the joy and relief in your words. But I also want to share my concern for you now, out of love for you as my sister in Islam.
As I read, I think of other Muslim women I know who, after escaping from an abusive marriage felt their iman shaken deeply, and began to dislike Islam because of the harshness and hypocrisy and denial they experienced. (...I know I went through awhile after my ex left me that I didn't want to SEE another Muslim man...I felt that I had had it!)
I have also seen that especially among convert muslimas (and I am one as well), during times of extreme stress we may tend to reach for what is most familiar and comforting to us which is often how we grew up.... So going through trials it is very very easy to lose our deen.... To tell ourself that what feels good and what feels comfy must be the best path to take. May Allah guide us in this struggle - me and you and all of us...
Only don't sell your akhira for a slow dance...! what feels good can't be our only guide - if it goes against what we know to be right.
Being "wayward" is a dangerous and very vulnerable position to be in, because we know we will stand in front of Allah and answer for our choices. And for the choices we make for the precious children Allah has entrusted us with.
I do truly recognize your need to let go of what you've been practicing in order to re-evaluate, and if re-embrace, to do so with a whole heart.
And it is a wonderful thing and I am truly happy for you Safa that you retain your strong connection to Allah, and your sense of right and wrong.
I pray that you feel the sweetness and the peace of drawing close to Allah, and the steadiness of it in this crazy world, a steadiness that doesn't fade or falter, and that you continue to turn back to Allah.
I pray that Allah brings you a wonderful gentle supportive Muslim husband in the model of the prophet Muhammad - may God's peace and blessings be on him, who was the best of men and the best of husbands.
Who knows - maybe this new man in your life will be this Muslim husband... Inshallah through Allah's mercy and guidance his heart will be guided to Islam.
But please keep up your salat Safa, and make du'a, and keep making du'a, that Allah guide you to what is best for you - for your heart and soul and your comfort and for your beautiful kids, and for your faith and your akhira - and that He protect you from what is harmful for you, and that for everything He turns you away from that He gives you something even better and that you find deep contentment and joy in it...
Please forgive me Safa for anything I've said wrong. You are on my mind and in my du'a...
Peace and mercy of Allah on you and on your family -
Sarah
4:24 PM
Salam safa - I thought as soon as I hit "publish" that i should have sent my post to you privately... bad adab on my part :-/ Pls do go ahead and delete ok?
thank you dear!
Sarah
5:19 PM
"Taking off your hijab is not permissible, and it is not ok."
Mumina, Hijab is not mandatory in Islam, NOTHING is compulsory in Islam... So I don't see why Safa can't take her hijab off. ANd her daughters are of an age were hijab is not even "mandatory" so....
1:41 PM
SubhanAllah!!! A'oothu billahi min thaalik...Brujita, Hijab IS mandatory for females who are at and past the age of puberty and have not yet reached a certain old age where there is no further sexual desire. So, I am not sure what madhab you learned that from, but you are wrong. It is fardh to practice hijab, just the same way salaat is. And to say nothing is compulsory in Islam...ya Allah, what is this the ummah is coming to? People can choose to look at our duties as not compulsory and deny them, but there are plenty of Ayat and plenty of Ahadith that talk about blatant disobedience.
I just wanted to respond to that since I was addressed directly, but I do not mean to spark any bickering on your blog Safa!
May Allah guide us all, and help us to reject the waswas of shaitan, ameen.
4:10 PM
The ayah in Quran that states there is no compulsion in Islam refers to forced conversion. To those already Muslim, there are many compulsory duties.
11:35 PM
Hijaab encompassing modesty is required of Muslim women. However, the question is how is that modesty defined? The headscarf as hijaab is something that bears looking at in light of the Quran and I believe most Muslim women are simply repeating what they have been told without really analyzing things from the Word of Allah. If we consider this issue in context, I believe that we may arrive at a different conclusion. I will post on this as soon as I am able to put it together, but I am leaving for Italy soon and it may take some time.
Mumina, I do think since you believe so firmly that covering hair is required, then you should do so. I do not however think that people who do not believe that should do so. I truly do not believe that covering my hair is required and doing so only made me feel like a hypocrite.
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
5:00 AM
but its safa's choice whether right or wrong.
7:08 AM
Safa, I have no comment about your lack of Hijab or that some sentimental manboy creature is making you giggle like a schoolgirl... I just want to say that you took the difficult decision to change your tomorrows by changing your today
It takes a strong person to do it, your choices are best for you, they are best for your children... and ultimately they will reap the benefits fo having a mother who took them on the road less travelled.
at the very least you have inspired your children.. at the very most
hundreds of women who have read your story
So Ma'am I take my (erm.. metophoric)hijab off to you and throw it high into the bright sky and watch as the spring breeze carries it off
God Bless
Daisy the Lazy
7:48 AM
Yes, Jana. Just to be clear, I agree.
And what I am saying is that if we look very closely at the issue in the context of the time in which the Quran was revealed and the context of our time now, one may draw the conclusion that wearing a headscarf is not the black and white issue that some Muslims think it is.
I support Safa's choice. I made my own choice after considering it carefully, as well. And I am happy for Mumina and any other woman to make her own choice. What I do recommend is that every woman study the matter.
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
8:34 AM
"It is fardh to practice hijab, just the same way salaat is"
Mumina, Is hijab a piller of Islam? Then why put it as important as prayer?
"The ayah in Quran that states there is no compulsion in Islam refers to forced conversion"
Simply Eva, I think it also means you can't force someone to stay Muslim.
Hugs to you Safa! You look gorgeous in that picture!
9:08 AM
A. there is no compulsion on anyone to convert to islam, to practice islam or to stay a Muslim.
It is all a choice.
However, as for Hijab, it is actually only in the last century or so that its become such a 'controversial' topic. Niqab or the face veil has always been an issue where there existed a difference of opinion among scholars as to whether it is required or not.
However, hijab or the covering of the hair and body in loose unattractive clothing has always been considered obligatory.
Simply put, when the ayat of hijab were revealed, the Muslim women covered as is recorded in hadith. Neither the nature of women or men has changed over the centuries. Same hormones.
The Prophet saw did not point out in any way that this is only for his time.
If we use that argument, perhaps LITTLE of islam would be left.
Thank God for knowledge, the preservation of the Quran and that this deen is not taken from the lay people but from scholars.
In the end, it is all YOUR CHOICE.
Assalam'alaykum,
Naureen
12:52 PM
oh im sorry PM, i was directing that comment in general. forgive me!!
4:51 PM
Salam Safa,
You do look increadibly happy and I wonder if you go back and read the entries you made at this time in the last years what do you think of that woman?
http://needcopingmechanisms.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html?zx=ea85160434130b4a
March 15, 2008
Alhamdulillah.
I should always remember to say that. I remember now.
Alhamdulillah.
I've found a place to live. It's a 3 bedroom basement apt owned by muslims....
http://needcopingmechanisms.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html?zx=4000534340055e88
March 13, 2007
.....
U know what I see?
It's a cliff. A sheer drop, only protected by the pole - hanging chain. It's like the three level diving platform....I'd say as high as the second level.....and it goes right into the lake. No sandy beach, no sitting area...just that sheer drop.
.......
(by the way I was out swimming at 8 months preg in deep water but cliff diving Ohh no, that was scary incidence sorry I jsut now read about it)
http://needcopingmechanisms.blogspot.com/2006_03_01_archive.html?zx=bd0c18bb41024d82
Thursday, March 16, 2006
delving deep.......
Assalaamu alaikum. I've been doing so much thinking lately. It's overwhelming and it's not helping me. I have been questioning bits and pieces of my life from here and there.......and getting nowhere. I really don't know where I am or where I am going. I live in Egypt with my kids and have absolutely no support from my hubby's family, and no family of my own here. Right now my hubby is in Canada with his other wife.....
Maybe now that you're very far from where you've come you might see yourself and your future differently.
Because no matter who your friends are or your reades are it doesn't matter one wit what we think about your life, your hijab/lack there-of, your non-muslim boyfriend, or your ex. It matters what YOU think about them AND what Allah will Judge you for doing LATER.
So no matter who influences your life more you should look closely at yourself and decide what influence you have upon yourself about your future.
I'm sure it will be very interesting to see where you will be March 15, 2010.
6:25 PM
Tks American muslima....yes I was reading back there not so long ago.....and whenever I re-evaluate myself I think back to who I used to be and wonder who I am.
I loved what swimmyfish said here...
"I do truly recognize your need to let go of what you've been practicing in order to re-evaluate, and if re-embrace, to do so with a whole heart."
1:01 PM
Oh btw.....I laughed at his heart pancake....he worked pretty hard on it, and couldn't get it just right.....oh but the effort....the effort was worth so much more......
3:09 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
7:20 PM
Oh Sistah!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsvK8WCPj1Y
Oh, Scufflin',
I been up that lonesome road
And I seen a lot of suns goin' down
Remember your name
No twister,
gonna steal your stuff away
My sister
We sho' ain't got a whole lot of time
So shake your shimmy....
From Celie to Shug you gone!
God is trying to tell ya something!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7ZT5sajkys&feature=related
Sistah!
I love that PM too. You and she has rocked my world. I have also changed on my own during the time I have known you both. I just haven`t shared my story online.
I am coming out of the broomcloset in this post. From the time I have been on your blog I have gone from kufr to shirk. An insult greater to islam then kufr, but I am true to myself, I always was, I just didn`t know, who I am. I thought I was just weird, strange, perhaps ill.
I was told by a wise man and his witch wife my true nature.
I am a witch.
I know you are too, but you stay where you are comfortable. Spirituality is a walk of life, a choice. It is your choice to honour the God outwards if that is your path. I am just so happy to see that you are honouring Godess through yourself.
I now know God and Godess and strive daily to honour them, in action and ritual.
From this confession you may go ’A‘ūdhu billāh or Astaghfirullāh for letting me in or letting me speak to you, your mind and soul. I might loose you or you might loose readers if you choose to let me stay. Then so be it!
It changes nothing in our souls!
I tell you something. I am still not a very learned witch, I am a work in progress, forever learning, forever walking....
I had to go back and check this.
The song is not new to me, it`s a favorite of my brothers, it was on all radio-channels, I heard it many times before I saw this.
I have seen much better, as a die hard fan of Yevgeny Plushenko, The King of Ice, watching Brian Joubert through the European Championship, it`s nothing special. It`s his encore in the Gala after he won the gold.
It is not a particularly special Gala-event. Simple outfit, simple lighting.
I saw it two days after I made the comment to you. I checed this when I first read your post, needed to ponder.
First I saw his best, in the competition, then his first Gala-entry, then this came on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FytRB0QYjkI
I was overwhelmed with a sense of love, I replayed it on my tivo. As I am not a learned witch yet I did not know, when I read your post it slowly dawned on me. The extreme impact of this performance, the song.
I felt love was coming your way.
You are on my mind a lot Safa, and this night God and Godess told me that a loved one of mine was to receive good, love.
The man who told me I am a witch told me to take pictures of me as I started to walk the path. I have changed mentally and it shows physically.
You look awesome!
True sisters love beyond seas, beyond faith, beyond dogmas.
I do not need to impose mine on you. When you are happy I can feel it across the sea.
You are embracing the Godess without me having to order you to, she is in you.
Revere God in your way and God will walk with you and Godess shines in you.
Be yours Sistah!
Love from Valkyrianne of Norway!
7:20 PM
For a while I have wondered what to write, so I will just come out and blurt it out like I usually do. You already know how I feel about this.
Its wonderful, if you are having a good time and an easy peasy relationship, a can be dropped without too much craziness relationship. You need an easy peasy time after the nonsense you went through for so many years. Oh and religion or lack there of dosent even enter into it.
For anything more serious than that, INVESTIGATION. Thorough investigation. From the last time we talked ... sorry that was a while ago since I am dealing with some stuff... I mentioned some of the issues that didnt seem quite right. Perhaps they have been resolved, but even if they have, investigation is still nessecary. There is just too much crap happening out there. I dont want any of that to touch your life. I really dont.
Will write more when I get my head and body together some more.
1:57 PM
On the Day of Judgement you will arise with those that you love so be careful who you take for a friend or they will lead you down a path where you might not like the end result.
1:39 PM
I knew it was you, that you would come "Relief". With brimstone and doomsday. Eventhough, like Sadiyah, I should wait for body and head to get together, I will speak.
For a long time you got my heckles up, you irked me like a scab. Now, I just feel sorry for you. You pound down a path already walked by so many others, putting your footsteps in downtrodden soil.
Sharon is treading lightly a new path, carefully placing her foot, feeling if it`s a good place to put her feet, finding ground on her own.
Her life is good, she has found joy. If this man is a place to put roots, she has not decided yet, as far as I see.
Feel the soil Sharon, don`t plant it unless you know it`s furtile, the sun shines in the right spots, enough space to grow and plenty of nourishment for future.
I told you, Be Yours.
What is faith?
Merriam-Webster:
2 a (1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust
No proof!
Then the soul must be at work, feeling.
What do you get Relief? From your total faith in a doctrine panned out by others.
Garbage.
You are pounding down the halal way, searching a man, desperately, garbage men, in marriage and halal meetings.
You got someone elses jammies as consolation.
Since I have known you, there has been no Ease of your Hardship, only more heaped on.
The fact that you come here with brimstone tells me that Sharons newfound path, happiness, is threatening your path, you do not receive ease and you want Sharon to suffer with you, to reinforce your conviction that your path is the only path, that what you so desperately seek will come with this walk.
This for a goal that is just a feeling, no proof. You are constantly pounding on her not to feel hers, let her soul find proof for herself, her path.
I wish better for you, I really do, I, give you a prayer, in the words of Tennessee Williams:
"A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages."
Valkyrianne
2:51 PM
Kafira,
I think you are confusing Yosra with Relief. Relief isn't a very active blogger.
As for me, I don\t get caught up in terminology. I work with a woman who refers to herself as a witch and who celebrates feminine power (ie., "Goddess" as opposed to "God"). I know her to be a very decent person with good values and morals.
Getting to know people that label themselves "Muslim" who I can't (and in fact refuse to) relate to has taught me that labels don't matter.
Regards,
PM
3:51 PM
Yes dear PM, I have, thank you for clearing that up. Brimstone and hellfire still stands, whatever personal to Yosra must then be ignored by Relief.
I should have done what I said, waited and posted on my own, my thoughts on this. I apologize for my mistake but will leave the post as is.
Yosra in he blog is saying the things Relief said here.
Shame there is no editing-options in blogging. Aaah, patience, working on it...;-)
I as a witch recognize both God and Godess, male and female, outwards and in. Represented in my belief is God as Sun and Moon as Godess, the one as powerful as the other, God shining and bringing out Godess who steers the balance of life through her courses. Without eachother in balance we will subjugate the one, a society tilted, suffering, and the masculine dominated for too long, there must be balance, for without eachother, we will die. This is my problem with islam. The emphasis on God, the masculine, rendering the feminine in a state with no masculine in her.
Thus I understand your friend emphasising on the Godess, common in withches, the Godess is the maiden, the mother, the crone, the nurturor, the one who cares for daily life. However with her is God and one must work with God to be fully accomplished, in my opinion. To ignore God your magic will suffer, you powers not as strong, so I embrace both, but keep closer to the Godess, as a woman and occupied with nurturing, love, humans and daily life.
Do not take my definition of masculine and feminine as the current definitions, through paternalistic religions and culture. My mind is to tired to try to explain right now.
In human relations and within a person is the both, yin and yang might be a better term then M and F.
Your work, your path is to bring more masculine to the overtly,feminized muslimah, in the feminine definition through paternalistic religions.
You have chosen a different path, to work from within. I have my very strong doubts it will work, but who I am I to judge, I bow to your approach!
As an atheist and Kafira I had problems with the God, but seen as masculine, force, source, fierce, I could recognize it, because much of me is.
I shall leave it at this now, made a mistake, thank you for correcting me.
Humble Rambling Hugs!
4:50 PM
this comment section should have a blog of it's own....
safa, how's the man? we want to hear more!!!!
5:58 PM
Thank you for your comment Relief.....which is yet another reason I'm so glad that I'm away from the ex.......
7:31 PM
... a side note, to Kafira, on faith...
You define "faith" as belief without proof. But as Muslims, our "bible" is not Merriam-Webster...
In the Islamic understanding, IMAN comes from a root meaning safety, security, protection from fear, trust, a covenant.
Islam never asks from us belief without proof. Our iman should be rooted in reason and awareness - and not an empty belief either but should lead us to good actions ("amanu wa amilu as-salihat").
Allah subhana wa ta'ala asks us to observe the natural world, the course of human history, and the nature of our innermost selves - for signs of his existence and his truth.
"It is He Who gives life and death, and to Him (is due) the alternation of Night and Day: will ye not then understand?" 28:30
-
as far as your comments on masculinity and monotheism (re God-worship) I agree that it's a sorry commentary on current human society that all the boys are in charge and many of them full of harshness and brutality.
But it's not accurate to say that by believing in God Islam worships the masculine (even if some unfortunate muslims did!). On the contrary, Allah is the source of all feminine AND masculine attributes. The word "He" is just a limitation of our gendered language, but not a limitation of His nature....
Allah is al-Ghaffar - the forgiving, al-Latif - the tender, al-Wadud - the loving, al Muqit - the nourisher. Ar-Rahman - the most compassionate: this particular name full of so much love and tenderness and life-giving sustenance that he gave this name to the womb - "ar-Rahm" for its role in carrying out that divine quality...
...And the saying of the Prophet Muhammad - may God's peace and blessings be on him - "Be gentle, for gentleness adorns everything - and its absence leaves it defective"...
12:26 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
3:43 AM
swimmifish, dear, I do not define. Such is faith defined with slightly diffirent wording, linguisticually and in origin, in dictionaries worldwide.
Faith is belief is putting your trust without proof. In your words, with reason and awareness. My reasoning and awareness is different from yours. Chances are there are very few people who share your e x a c t reasoning and awareness eventhough you share faith in a certain dogma.
I have no proof of my spirituality and claim none.
Now, I will not discuss God and Godess here. Since islam has been a subject of mine for over 10 years now I most certainly will ponder the issue and very well write about it.
Why don`t you take a look at Wicca and see for yourself the diffirences?
Surely, I spendt 10 years with islam, I never took this path, it was not for me, so there is no danger for you to have a read up, just for the interest of it.
Peace and blessings!
Note to self, made another mistake, had to delete and rewrite, taking it as a sign to go shhhhhh now :-)
3:48 AM
its intersting how a non muslim kafira is taking your recent actions to sort of mean that yur throwing islam behind your back and don't care about it anymore and will do whatever you want.
i don't know if thats necessarily a correct assumption.
sometimes you need to get away from something for a while to figure out if its really you or not.
but its not necessary that that means its being abandoned completely.
don't know if that makes sense.
don't let the ex define islam for you and don't let the ex's definition stand. make your own.
1:38 PM
Safa has stopped saying the word non-muslim ---- I affirm that most of us here are part of the human race.....let it stick at that please....
2:03 PM
Burgundy, I did not say that. I interpreted her in my own way, that Godess shines through her as she looks so well, so beautiful, healthy, happy, she looks like a Godess.
As far as I understand it Safa is still muslim, in her own way, and I respect and admire that...
2:52 PM
Safa, you know I'm all about heart shapes. It made my day to see the pancake he carved for you.
5:25 PM
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