Baby, Kids, Comments and Phone Calls......
Alhamdulillah....Precious baby is doing well........taking the last of his meds for jaundice......starting to have longer waking periods.......breastfeeding for a marathon...!!! LOLOL!!! And growing!
The girls are in exam time.......so I've been trying to keep them studying....they've got tutors coming and going.....and manage to throw in some TV time on top of it all.
All the kids want to go to Cda again this summer......and my mom is really counting on me coming. Horrible the pressure the parents can put u under. Mom wants me to divorce hubby, come to Cda, live with her and raise the girls. As much as I love her, I seriously don't think we could do living together well. And you have to remember that I have a 15 yr old brother.....and did I mention that they aren't muslim? It's a lot to ask from me to do all that. Sometimes she calls me and puts on the pressure for me to come back.
Time and time again I have to explain to her that I have to do what is best for my entire family, not just what is best for me. Then she'll say something like....Well, aren't your brother and I part of your entire family? So I'll say, of course you are......and you are the one who started the family.....but I am responsible for my girls.....just as you are responsible for my brother.......I have to take the girls best interests to heart. And then she'll say...so u don't think being beside their grandmother is in their best interest? OMG...it goes on and on. I get into super defense mode.....and try VERY hard to make her feel at ease. It's definately not easy.
I really hope for the best for all. Insha Allah.
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Its been interesting reading my comments section.......subhanAllah.....I love the variety in there. The goodness. Masha Allah!
I don't want to change my plan of June 9th. If it is true, like some of you say....that maybe my hubby can detect the change in me....don't u think if I postpone the June 9th that he'll feel that as well? I think so.
Yes, Hubby called and told me what he did on his own accord....and u know what else? He hasn't called back since. Which is more than a little strange......I text messaged him the first couple of days....and now....I've stopped even that. I have no idea what he is dealing with right now or even what he is doing.......so I've faded myself out of the picture......again. Sigh.
But trade in June 9th? No, I can't. And even if he'll flip, he'll see that even I have limits.....he can't ask me to act better than him.......he can't want for me something and for him, something else. Oh, I mean....HE CAN......but it doesn't mean its right.
So date stays in tact........I'm not sure how that phone call should go......I'm still thinking about how I'll word it.
I was thinking about writing a letter to my husband........and maybe even mailing it......with all the hurt brought out into the open....the things I can't say without breaking into tears and sobbing......what do you all think? It sure would be therapeutic.......
And u know what I'm really curious about? Hubby has told me that he doesn't live with MM anymore......which I find difficult to believe for many reasons......but I almost wish I had some sort of relationship with her so that I could call her at lets say....11 pm at night....and see if hubby answers. Somehow I SO expect him to. Anyone wanna make some phone calls for me??? LOLOLOL!!!!
posted by Safa at 1:39 AM
5 Comments:
Writing letters is always good. That way, you can read your response ten times before finally hitting the 'send' button.
If you're an emotional person like me and start crying...a lot of things are left unsaid that way. Better write that letter and talk later if he calls.
That was my two cents worth of input...hope it helps
2:39 AM
salaam safa
this reminded me of something. as scary as it is, one of the beautiful things about the day of judgement for believers is that we (hopefully!!)will see the true picture of what happened in the dunya. this is when you will know everything that hubby has been up to and the real truth of what has been going on. i doubt he will tell you everything that happened and the reasons for his decisions, in 10 years or 25 years, Allahu alim. but then you will get your piece of mind and you will get your justice for whatever has happened in reality, for eternity. insha'Allah.
6:10 AM
As salamu alaikum Dear Safa, I am glad to hear that the children are all doing well, may Allah subhaanahu wa ta'Ala increase them and you in health and iman, Ameen.
I have this big recurring issue that I have with my husband and everytime I would go to him to discuss it it would always lead to conflict creating a bigger fitnah. And I, like you, tend to become emotional when addressing certain issues and you are right, a lot of much needed things go unsaid. However, I time came up when I needed to bring this problem up again but this time I did something different. I made wudu and prayed salat-ul-istikhira and then approached him with this issue. I have to tell you that Allah az wa jaal made it so easy alhamdulliah. Not only did we not fight but we came to a mutual agreement and understanding. I know that it was only because I sought the council of ar-Rahman first that our conversation went as well as it did. So my advice to you is make salat-ul-istikhira before you approach hubby. By doing this you will truly be putting your trust in Allah subhaanahu wa ta'Ala and inshaAllah He will bless you and give you answers and tawfiq. You are in my dua'a Safa.
wa'salam
7:27 AM
Safa I suggest you write the letter. Whether you gve it to hubby or not, write the letter and get it all off your chest.
1stly it will help you gather all those varying thoughts in your head and
2ndly it is a back up, so if you choose to spak to hubby and it doesn't go as planned you can end it by handing him the letter which has all your heart-felt emotions on it.
8:30 AM
Safa, no matter what you decide to do...I am sure it will be right for you. You are the best one to make the right decisions for you. Will continue to make du'ah for your happiness--I really wish to see all your dreams come true!
12:34 PM
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