Life is a waiting game......

I've been doing a lot of waiting recently. And I started thinking about just HOW much waiting I'm really doing here. Too much I think. It's possible that I'm getting good at this waiting, but I tell you, it seems to rarely have it's rewards. Am I supposed to expect those?

I sure think I am.

I think that it started with my DSL service. Well, that's not the real beginning....but rather the beginning of my awakening..... I ordered DSL almost a month ago. It was supposed to have been hooked up in two weeks. The lady that was discussing the rules of my service told me that. She said...u'll have it in two weeks. So I paid my monies, and then she asked me to sign a contract. Basically saying that I wouldn't use the service to do bad things, etc etc. And then there is this line where it says that I'll have my service in ______ amount of time. The lady has written 15 days. I didn't like that. And I'm sticky on points like that.

Why would she tell me two weeks = 14 days......and then write in 15? So I point it out. And she smiles and tells me...."yaani". So I tell her..."no, yaani"....u said two weeks and in my books, u meant 14 days. So she scratches out the 15 days and writes 14. Prolly thinks I"m a nut.

So how long ago was that? Almost a month....and I don't leave this company alone. I keep calling them. WHEN? I say......on Saturday, insha Allah. Okay then.....saturday I call.....where are you guys? Tuesday, insha Allah.....tuesday rolls around and I call em up again....I know I"m a hound......but I've paid for this, and I want my service.

Finally, somethings have been happening in this dept. The main phone service has switched my line...making it DSL conducive.....good. And now the company is telling me that the new switchboard has to do a re configuration.....WTH? How long? They don't want to say...(I don't blame them, cuz they want to get me off their back...LOL!).....so then I say, well come set up things at my house so that when the switchboard is finished....I"m ready to go. Sure they say. They don't show up. I call them again.....what's going on? Ummm...they are out of routers and sent someone to buy some more. OH COME ON! So finally they tell me, the guy will be there in 15 mins......he shows up an hour later.....and starts getting things installed. OOPS....but he forgot to bring a splitter. He'll have to come back tomorrow....NO WAY, I say....I'll drive u back to the company and you hand it over.....

Well, now I got all the equipment together.....but no DSL......the guy is telling me Wednesday.....we'll see. I don't like waiting so much.

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And then there's the villa. We have started renovations. We've added 4 new small balconies to the front....and they've poured the new balconies for the 3rd floor.....quite nice. So what needs to be done, is for the third floor pillars to be added so that they can raise a third floor. There are broken bricks littering the side of my house that need to be hauled away. They still haven't done it tho, because there is something else that needs to be broken down, and we want to haul the stones all in one go. Okay....sure.

But everytime I go over to the villa to check on work....there isn't anyone working there. WTH? I ask the maid....has my BIL been dropping by to check on work? NOPE. So why are things at a stand still? I call up the middle man.....and start complaining.....and within an hour....there are 3 workers at the villa. I'm not going to depend on my BIL to oversee any of this work.....I'm going to stick my nose in, even if it bugs the hell out of everyone. But again....I'm waiting.

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So I have to go to the diabetes DR. My sugars have been slightly out of whack lately. I get there early, and am told that I'm number 57. 57? What the heck? So I ask the nurse...what number are you on right now? Number 7. OMG....I've got hours in front of me. My hubby calls and we talk for an hour.....I've got my 12 yr old with me, we keep gabbing.....but even so.....they still don't call number 57. Finally after 3 1/2 hours, it's my turn. I go in, update the DR on my situation....he ups my insulin and tells me to do some bloodwork and come back in a week. HA! Not that I look forward to that......I come home exhausted.....and sleep forever. My feet and ankles have swollen to comparisions that would impress an elephant.....

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Next day I have to go to my OB/GYN DR. JOY! But I'm trying to finish all these appt's so I can get on with my life. I get there and I'm number 20. Oh, that sounds encouraging......But this is an OB/GYN DR...and being over 10 is never good. So after 4 hours of trying not to fall asleep in the waiting room, I finally finish up and make it home. Exhausted. Tired. Swollen. No good to anyone. I'm not good at the waiting game.

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That same night, as I'm about to go to sleep, my 4 yr old crawls in beside me. I talk to her a bit, and then I hug her in my arms and she tells me...."MAMA! I told u not to hug me"
Okay, I say.....Can I kiss you then? "I SAID NO!" she tells me. Okay.....Then is it okay for me just to love you? "NO HUGS, NO KISSES, NO LOVE". She says. Sigh. Now I'm here again.....and the frustration of all this waiting catches up to me.

I've wasted almost 8 hours in 2 days, doing absolutely nothing, when so much could have been accomplished......in a month, I haven't done anything with the DSL, although I"m constantly on their backs. And then I think to myself....OMG....in over a year, I'm still stuck in this crazy thing called marriage....having opted for the waiting game........WTH! I look over into my daughters eyes....almost able to see a flashing sign saying no kisses. Sigh.

Isn't there ever a reward for being patient? I move my body back a bit, so I don't touch her....lying beside her, offering her comfort, without actually physically touching her.

No hugs, no kisses, no love.

And just when I start to feel like throwing in the towel, when I say to myself.....what's the use? When I just want to get up and scream off my balcony....THAT PATIENCE IS OVERRATED!!! Just when I"m at the breaking point.....I hear a little voice beside me that brings me crashing back to earth.....that moves all those clouds from in front of my eyes.....it's my daughter....my beautiful, precious, 4 yr old daughter....and she says to me quietly before sleep claims her....

"Mama? You can love me now."

So I cuddle in close again, put my arms around her, hugging....place little kisses on her brow......and tell her I love her. Seems like for once, I've won the game.

And at that exact moment...that's all that matters.