You think I don't know.....

Somehow yesterday I wasn't feeling right. It was a strange day....and hubby wanted to invite some people over for awhile at night. The house is still upside down from the BIL who came to visit, and to be honest...I"m just not in the mood for strangers. I was so disappointed when he asked me about inviting ppl over....and I pointed out...that since he's arrived the day before Eid...every day has been full of a different obligation, and until last night...he had not spent one night alone with us. He thought about it for a second and then said....you could have just told me! To which I answered....it would be nice if you would remember things like that yourself.

He then proceeded to get his two nephews upstairs to fix some lights in the house, got the girls working changing around the small family room, cleaning...u name it....and basically drove us nuts. We had just wanted to sit down. It went on till 10 pm. Afterwards the girls told him that they had gathered the money together to order pizza....and he let them.

The whole time he was on his little rampage, I stayed and made my kitchen an earthly heaven. By the time they had all finished up outside, so had I. Pizza was good, and then we went to bed.

I woke up at 4 am....I have no idea why....but decided to take advantage of the opportunity to pray Tahajjud. When I finished up, I decided to do something different. Usually I make dua....the standard kinds....but yesterday I felt like talking to Allah. I just sat there with my hands outstretched and told Allah what I was going thru. I asked for change, I asked for my promise of ease. Ya Rab!

I stayed up late and watched them pray Fajr on IQRA in Mecca. Masha Allah! Then I went to wake up my hubby.....it was difficult at best....but I got him up when I said...Allahuma autho bika min al kassal. (Oh Allah, I seek refuge from laziness) LOL!!

He went to pray Fajr at the mosque and I prayed here. I tried to go back to sleep, but it wasn't coming. So I started toying with his cellphone.

Surprise, surprise.

I checked the log and there was nothing of any notice there, and then I remembered a friend telling me to check the other log. So I did.....well....he's been calling MM every day....sometimes 4 times a day. And then he's been erasing the calls. Imagine that. I'm surprised about that. Why erase it? Hiding the fact that he calls her shows me an element of deceit that still exists.

And then I got out his Canada cell phone.....I found that he called the Ex Canadian wife the day before he left for Egypt. ? Why would he call her? Why would it matter for him to say, for example....that he's travelling? She's out of the picture. He knows I was playing with his cell phone, and he had no problem with it. I'm going to ask him why he called the ex.

And now this morning, before he left for Jummah prayer, he said that he's coming back to Egypt for good ASAP. I told him but you aren't cutting all strings, you are planning to go back to Canada. He seemed sort of pissed and answered me....I know what I'm doing. And I said, I don't trust you with that.

He was telling me before that he won't close his business down, but sell out half to a partner....therefore he'll have to go back from time to time to collect monies and help out. I am against that. TOTALLY.

So Ya Allah! Only with ur help can I find relief....but the way it's going.....I'm thinking that I just want to get out. There doesn't seem to be an end in sight....only a delay to some sort of inevitability. I think HA would know what I mean....after her waiting for her husband to figure things out, and them him going and doing what he wanted to anyways....maybe that's the same road I am about to embark on....and I fear that if he doesn't cut Canada all together, that it'll be me that'll be doing the cutting.

I don't see me waiting around 4 yrs to have an end to this story.