If the price is right...I will sell....
SubhanAllah.....won't we ever get it on track? EVER?? Can everybody in the house say frustrating??? OMG.....
Hubby calls and the oldest answers the phone...he talks to her for a bit, then talks to the 3 yr old, then the 11 yr old...and lastly the 9 yr old. But before the phone was passed to her, she whispers to me.."Did you tell Baba about my trouble with school?" "Not all of it." I said.
When I was asking him yesterday to take a more active role in the kids lives...he was adamant that the 9 yr old not know that I told him anything. I pushed the issue and he finished it with me by saying...YOU JUST LISTEN! So what does he do? He talks to the 9 yr old and asks her if she finished fixing up her notebook yet. She looks over at me....all I hear her say is, "No, I didn't get it finished yet".....then she looks at me....then she answers her father again..."Yes, Mama got a letter from the teacher"....she's looking at me......"Yes, Baba....I'm trying hard now"....looks at me.
I'm fuming...I'm pissed....I'm hurt....I'm MAD....AHHHHHHH!
So he finishes with her and I take the phone....I walk into my room while he's asking me how I'm doing? How I'm feeling? How's the baby?.....I close my bedroom door and I say to him...."You just put me in a very difficult position". To which he says....WHAT DID YOU SAY YESTERDAY? WHAT DID YOU SAY? So I says...(calmly).....I said I want you to take a more active role in the kids life.....then he answers me...YOU DON"T LISTEN! YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING WITH YOUR OWN HANDS!! (and he's YELLING!!)
My own hands? I say.....and then I'm like...look, honey....r u planning on going to ur wife's house tonight? And he says, I don't know yet. So I says...well listen...we need to talk, okay? And before I can say phone card, time, sheikh or even BOO! He says I'll call you later, Assalaamu alaikum. and hangs up.
I think that's a record....so I come out of the room...and all the girls look at me....Wow that was quick. So I says...well, he had to hang up. (but I didn't say it in a way to alarm them....I meant it like I said he had to go)....then I went into the Big livingroom......all the while shaking....had myself a good cry......and that's it. Got a change of clothes...had a hot shower.....and now I wait. I wonder when he'll call me back? But you know what? I think I have to do the 30 day silent period.....I can't talk to him....I risk harming myself....the baby. It takes too much out of me.....yes....insha Allah....before he hangs up....I hope to get the chance to tell him I'm taking 30 days off.
This is just ridiculous.....Oh BTW....Days of Our Lives contacted me.....they want to buy all my archives on my blog and work it into their storyline.....seems like Stephano Demera is going to play my husband.....I was sort of hoping for Victor Kiriakis......but hey....what to do....
posted by Safa at 10:42 AM
16 Comments:
Days of our lives huh? Are you going to sell? I think you should wait for All my children..they won't be too far behind....
11:43 AM
Whoever made the comment in another post about you doing it all on your own was right! And you're doing a great job. Hold on to that support network you have locally, Safa. Everyone needs someone they can vent to face-to-face. I hope that will make it easier. Hubby seems like more of a drain than anything else these days. Chin up-I was thinkg "Bold and the Beautiful" but if "Days" is offering more $$, go for it.
1:49 PM
oh girl....
the funniest part about it to me is that no matter how many days we "take off" they probably won't notice anything unless we tell them. LOL! Sometimes it's hard to accept what a small corner of their lives we inhabit when they take up way too much space in ours. Let's make a pact to fill up our own space and tuck our hubs out of sight in the closet. We can bring 'em out and dust 'em off on holidays and special occasions, but no point in having them clutter up our homes ;-)))
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
1:57 PM
Sounds more like the Young and the restless
4:36 PM
Asalaam Alaikum Sister,
I don't know what else to say other than, I pray that Allah will bless you and your children and give you peace. I guess I will leave it at that.
Aeryn
6:50 PM
and of course the irony is that it is you keeping everything together with your own two hands....time out is a good idea, but maybe a good also to really tell him exactly how you are feeling before hand(if he gives you the chance)so that he has things to think about over the time you don't speak...take care of yourself and don't get stuck, just focus on the small things around you and make lots of du'a.only you know your situaiton so sorry if i'm intrusive at all....i think we all wish we could do something to help you.
7:12 PM
it's 8 am here...he didn't call me..... mind games on his side....
10:22 PM
salaams my friend
i hope that hot shower u had did u good.
safa i think take it easy for now. take baby steps. ine moment at a time, one day at a time. dont plan so far ahead. 30 days is a long time and alot can change in 30 days. you are goigng through a confusing period right now.l your emotions will be all over the place. one minute u will be ahating hubby nthe next u will be loving him n wanting to be with him. its so messed up. i often say so many things on my blog, only to find that i do the exact opposite when im talking to hubby
safa let me share with u a verse of the quran that i read today it says "inevitable comes to pass the command of Allah, seek not to hasten it then" surah 16 verse 1
after i read this verse it got me thing. Allah is the master planner and the best of planner. everything will happen according to its appointed time. we cant rush things
continue to pary and truat in Allah and this will fall into place. whatever was meant to be will be
if its the will of Allah that u and hubby be reunited and the he returns to Egypt it will happen in its appointed time.
hope that helps
Love icequeen
11:01 PM
That's a good reminder icequeen for all of us. Allah says he listens to the prayers of the women, especially those who are oppressed. So have trusting faith in Allah. Take care....
7:29 AM
your days of our life comment had me rolling..ha ha..so clever and funny!
8:25 AM
See Icequeen....I hear what the quran is saying about not hastening the future....but that reminds me of the hadith about the man who was dying and bleeding slowly....and Allah was taking his sins from his pain....but the man...impatient for death, cut his hand open to speed things up. Well, yes he died faster...but his sins weren't all gone. Have you ever heard of that?
Well....I understand about not hastening things....speeding to get to work ontime...climbing down a ladder faster than my feet can go....but about my rights? My kids rights? You see...there is a time for patience and a time for action.....
I don't have to be patient about not getting my rights....these aren't my rules...they are Allah's....and it's not my problem....it's my husbands. Something has to give.....My hubby prolly owes me something like 5 mos now. 5 MOS!
9:14 AM
Yes, and that's why you are doing the right thing by trying to set things in motion to get your rights, but ultimately it will happen the way Allah wants it to happen at the time it's supposed to happen! I always think of the hadith about 'trusting in Allah and tying your camel'. We are supposed to take personal action because this is how Allah may bring about his decree. But in the end we have to trust that He will be the one to change our circumstances and allow what we are pushing for to happen.
In my own situation I need to learn how to submit properly, not half-heartedly and i think until i get it properly, in my heart and not just my head, then Allah will let the same things happen over and over again...Allahu Alam.
The times that I have just offered my problems up to Allah and seen the futility of my chasing things all over the place, then that is when I have been given poitive things in return. the other day after months of trying to "talk" my husband into understanding my perspective, i just decided that enough was enough and that i was just going to leave it to Allah. I felt really strangely calm and at ease about it (normally i am totally neurotic when he doesn't listen). then when we talked about 24 hours later he admitted that he has a share of responsibilty in our arguments instead of saying its all my problem as he has done for ever. I really couldn't believe it..major breakthrough.After all these months of trying to get my point across and failing miserably i really had almost given up. i think that maybe if i had submitted to Allah properly in the first place, then maybe he wouldn't have put me through all that.
I'm not suggesting there's any comparison between our situations, just responding to what Icequeen brought up about what she just read on Qu'ran because it really is true.
1:45 PM
Ahhh Safa-everytime I read your blog I just want to reach out and give you a big hug! I do think that you need to think about your baby and your children. They know something is up even when you try to hide it. I just wish you had a better support system in Egypt!
3:24 PM
I've never been worried about comparisions, jamila.....the phrase pops to my mind..."you don't know me!!" LOL! It was a common when I used to watch Jerry Springer.....but truth be told....our situations don't have to be the same....for you to see yourself here.....I think it's the hurt, the suffering, and whatever else you've experienced that makes you or anyone say....OMG, I've been there. I need that.
Somehow, I just can't give it up.....subhanAllah.....I keep saying to myself..."But it's NOT FAIR!!!" Why do I have to give?
I wish I had a better support system in Egypt as well.
8:59 PM
Salaams
Thanks for the comment on me blog and for seeing my point of view...
There is one word in my mother tongue and that is Sabar which means to have patience..
Everything is fated by Allah and Insyallah this too will pass...
Btw Days of our lives is my mum's fav soap...
Tell me how it goes for that...
1:14 AM
Salamu alaykum,
Are you serious about Days of Our Lives? When I watched the soaps back in the day I was always an ABC soap fan so I think you should sell it off to 'All my children with the guy who played Adam Chandler as the husband - he was always a master manipulator.
10:01 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home