flirting with my deen.....
I've been sorta flirting with the idea of wearing niqab......i unno.......in some ways...I'd like to wear it....but in others.....it's just a pain in the ass. Does it slow me down in my life....not allowing me to enjoy all the things I usually do? Or does it protect me even more...?? Honestly....I'm just flirting with the idea of it.....wanted to share....
posted by Safa at 12:54 AM
23 Comments:
I wanted to wear it too my hubby said not here in America cuz I get enough stares.
7:13 AM
I wore niqab for 1 1/2 yrs about 10 yrs ago.....had to take it off cuz I couldnt' breath and was having sinus infections left and right....but I wasn't wearing the saudi style.....I'm thinking about it......don't think NOW is the time to take the jump tho. But it will be a reality some day...insha ALLAH.....
7:27 AM
May Allah make it easy for you to do. It think it might be a good thing to do. For me, my niqab allows for introspect and helps keeps me focused. It can be hinderance... but if you can keep the focus on Allah and receiving His reward one day Inshallah, those other issues due to it will seem minor, Inshallah. Good luck.
9:13 AM
thanks for the encouragement......
1:22 PM
hey sis. i totally encourage you to wear niqab. i pray insha'Allah Allah facilitates it for you and makes it easy on you. i started wearing niqab 9 months ago alhamdulillah and i would never turn back. sure it can be a hindrance if we're talking about access to certain dunya opportunities, but when you are a Believer in Allah subhanahu wa ta^ala and are living your life for His sake, doing things that will gain His Pleasure far supercede any struggle or missed "opportunity" that may be incurred. it's all about priorities and asking ourselves Who and what we are living for.
1:54 PM
That was really well said.....I think I am lacking the commitment....and my life is just going thru such hell.....I'm worried I'll be doing it for the wrong reasons.....but its very tempting...
11:08 PM
Salaam Alaikum,
Can I ask you sisters what you think is so great about niqaab and why you are wearing it? Here in the Gulf, niqaab is mostly a status thing -- like it shows you are supposedly of high class (one of the "big" families). I have asked every niqaabi I know why they are wearing it and the answer has never been about religion.
What proof is there that Allah prefers when you cover your face? I am really curious as this seems to be a trend among American/Western Muslimahs to equate niqaab with piety and I am trying to understand where they are coming from.
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
2:05 AM
maybe it's a "saudi syndrome" sort of thing....u know.....being the Utimate Muslimah......what I believe is that it was Fard for the wives of the prophet to wear niqab....it isn't for us.....it's my opinion......what do I think is so great about it? I suppose it would be a sacrifice to take myself from dunya.......mind you....I also said it would probably be a pain in the ass as well.....
2:36 AM
Yes, I am aware of the wives of the Prophet (saw) but just like I don't think wearing a short dishdash or growing a full beard makes a man like the Prophet (saw) in any significant way, I also don't think wearing niqaab would make a woman like one of his wives.
I do think you have hit upon something (the Saudi syndrome) and it is the existence of such ideas that I think are counter to what Islam is all about. If Islam is for all times, places and people, why should we Westerners feel we need to aspire to be like a Saudi? I think we have hit upon something that really does exist -- and that is a feeling of not quite measuring up when comparing ourselves to Arab Muslims. I know that this is something my husband and I have disagreed over when he has expressed a desire for me to be more like his other wife (a Kuwaiti Muslimah) in a way that is really about culture and not religion. Although he is a well educated man (studied engineering at an American university) he still does not possess the unbiased critical skills to question what is religiously demanded and what is culturally dictated. And when it comes to Islam, he simply refuses to question anything; he was spoon fed by the Salafis and prefers to keep regurgitating what they fed him ;-)))
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
2:56 AM
my wearing niqab was motivated by a number of factors. for one, as we know that hijab, and when i say "hijab" here i mean covering in general not the specific "scarf wrapped around head, neck, and maybe chest" that it has come to be equated with,hijab is a form of ibadah for the woman and so like any form of ibadah it is something that we should strive to perfect. we should want to cover as best as possible, in a way that best fulfills the requirements of hijab. so, for instance, when i first embraced islam, i wore long, loose shirts and pants with scarves that would wrap around my head and drape over my chest. alhamdulillah at the time that was sufficient for me and what i was comfortable with, however, after being given my first abaya and wearing it for a few days in a row and then attempting to reach for that loose shirt and pants again, i began to realize that the abaya covered me in a way that my former attire didn't and couldn't to the point where my former attire made me feel naked. i became a lot more aware of how the curves/shape of my body were still apparant in pants and long shirts no matter how loose and definitely more apparant than in an abaya. so i "upgraded" to the abaya and began to wear the khimar as i saw how that covered me more than the "wrap-around and pin" hijabs. then i was given an overhead abaya and i REALLY became aware of my curves/shape being exposed because the overhead abaya covered me even better than the regular abaya. so at this point i alternate between the two styles of abaya. but i said all of that to say that, we have the minimum that we can do to fuflfill what is fard on us in our acts of ibadah, but we should strive to "go all out" so to speak. the covering of our bodies is no exception and part of perfecting a woman's hijab is wearing niqab.
second, we know that the wives of Rasulullah sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam wa radee Allahu anhuma wore niqab and being that they were the best of women and an example for all of us to follow, we should want to emulate them in how they dressed as well. so my wearing niqab makes me feel a certain connection to our Mothers in a way that i don't quite feel without the niqab, and this is especially the case if you are of the opinion that niqab was made exclusively fard upon them.
third, quite honestly, at least in the West, and in particular in new york city, so many men are becoming desensitized to the hijab's modesty factor that it no longer serves its purpose of preventing them from cat-calling and "trying to holla" at you. i can't tell you how many times i have witnessed personally and by-way of other sisters a man try to get a hijabis number, take her out on a date, tell her how beautiful/cute/sexy she looks. quite honestly, the West is such a hyper, overly sexualized society that hijab without niqab loses some of its strength in purpose. i truly feel like in order for the hijab to be most effective in this society (over-sexed America) you have to wear niqab (not trying to pass a fatwa, just my opinion).
fourth, and this probably should have been first, wearing niqab, when a woman does it for the sake of pleasing her her Lord, which ties in with trying to follow the example of the wives of Rasulullah and also perfecting our ibadah, it's just so rewarding both in this life and in the next insha'Allah.
okay, i've written an essay. i'm done.
3:16 AM
Salaam Alaikum Sister,
Interesting to read what you say about men in NYC and niqaab providing extra protection. Having spent my first 40 years in the US and my last 8 in the Arabian Gulf, I can assure you that men are no more hyper-sexualized in NYC than in the Middle East. Also, niqaab does not protect anyone from that unwanted attention since I have been with niqaabi friends as they are hit on by Arab males for numbers and dates. These are so-called "traditional" Arab men who wear the dishdash and beard. It just goes to show you that sometimes it doesn't matter what you wear! LOL!
BTW, I wear abaya and shayla when I go out of my home, so don't misunderstand that I am against modesty or pleasing my God. It's just that I cannot relate to the idea that dressing like the Prophet or his wives (saw) makes us like them in any way that is important. Perhaps it is being here in the ME, that I have really begun to question the WAY we use them as our models.
Salaam,
PM
3:36 AM
sorry, one more thing, a lot of people see the wearing of the abaya and niqab as a particularly Arab thing and see its adoption by muslimahs in the West as an Arabizing of Islam. i find this very interesting considering the fact that our Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam was an Arab and Islam first blossomed in Arabia so of course many of the customs of the deen, particulary when it comes to dress, are by circumstance going to have Arab roots. this in no way means that Arabs are superior. it's just the way it is. also, i think sometimes due to ignorance we attribute certain aspects of the deen to Arab culture that really are not exclusively Arab but were practiced by other cultures even prior to Islam. the covering of the face is not something uniquely Arab, nor is it something that Islam introduced. there is a misconception that Islam is devoid of "cultural influence," especially because so many Muslims falsely attribute un-Islamic cultural practices to the deen, however, Islam is not devoid of culture. the Arabic language is a part of Arab culture/custom yet nobody complains about the Qur'aan being revealed in Arabic or having to recite Arabic in our salaah. it seems the "Arab" card is pulled out only on those things in the deen that we find difficulty accepting, especially when they are things that go against the norms/customs/culture of the societies we have grown up in.
3:52 AM
wa ^alayki assalaam sister. please don't take my comments as an attack. i don't doubt that you value modesty alhamdulillah and i hear you on the fact that the West is not the only place in the world that has been hit by the "over-sexed" bug. unfortunately so many of the regions where Muslims are the majority have been contaminated by this nasty disease via colonization/westernization/globalization that the line of distinction between the lands of the kufaar and the lands of the Muslims are extremely blurred. a^udhubillahi minashaytanir rajeem. may Allah protect the Muslims and guide us to sirautal mustaqeem.
i guess ultimately the wearing of niqab, at least for me, is a matter between the muslimah that chooses to wear it and her Lord. i know for me, i feel more protected wearing it and alhamdulillah Allah has made it a means of keeping the cat-callers at bay. anything that helps facilitate a Muslimahs growth in eeman and taqwa of Allah is a plus, as long as it is halal. sometimes the benefits that people get out of performing certain actions cannot be explained but can only be experienced and perhaps this is why the "appeal" of niqab is not really convincing to you. and please forgive me sister if i'm coming off wrong. i guess that's one of the short-comings of written expression.
4:15 AM
I didn't mean to make you feel defensive, which I construed from your complaint about playing the "Arab card". And no one is criticisizing that the Prophet (saw) was an Arab and that Al-Quran was revealed in Arabic. This is simply a historical fact, but does not imply that Arabs make better Muslims or that Arab culture is more Islamic. And as a child of the American 60s, I am hardly worried about "going against the norms/customs/culture" I grew up in. I simply don't swallow everything in the Arab culture around me as somehow being more Islamic. I also don't believe that Allah made this religion to be a hardship upon us so the idea of doing things that I would consider a great hardship, THAT ARE NOT DICTATED IN QURAN, because I see Arabs doing them as a part of their culture, doesn't appeal to me. But then, I am not trying to be super-Muslimah; I'm just an humble Muslimah trying to struggle through this life and insha'Allah to be granted Mercy and entrance into Paradise
BTW, did you know that women of high status in ancient Persia often veiled their faces and hair but exposed their breasts? And that was one of the influences that led to women in Arabia covering their faces? Funny, isn't it? Imagine trying that?!? LOL!
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
4:16 AM
ahh safa, always the conversation starter. who would have thought that flirting with your deen would lead to this...lol!!!
4:32 AM
it's fun....I just love your banter....so concerned over hurting each others feelings or pushing your personal opinion on each other....whereas I'm reading it and saying...SubhanALLAH....about the variety in our deen.
Just for you both to know....in Egypt....most prostitutes wear niqab. No kidding....downtown Cairo...they eye you up and down until they approach you....talk about insulting our religion, eh?
Personally....I wear abayas....but have many styles of them.....I particularly like the new kind that comes with matching pants and has a slit up the side till the knee......I also have a jean abaya.....I wear large wrap around scarves that cover me same as a khimar. I always wear bandana's in the front.....
And just a note.....the overhead abayas are a horror in a windstorm.......they blow up against your body and show...EVERYTHING....I've seen it a lot here...overhead abayas are quite popular here. They are called..."isdaal" in arabic.
5:40 AM
Are people wearing the "butterfly" abayas there, Safa? You know the ones that have the fitted sleeve from the elbow down but give you bat wings? I love this because it is loser around the body but not so billowy or awkward like the chador.
That's funny about the prostitutes but doesn't surprise me. There was a shop in Kuwait City where the transvestite prostitututes by their abayas and shaylas. It was the first store I went to when I was visiting hubby one weekend after we got married. Never went back... something insulting about a man looking better in his abaya than me! LOL!
Salaam Alaikum,
PM
5:58 AM
I don't know what a shayla is....but the butterfly abayas are called "Mulhafa"....which basically means cover blanket I think. Many of the women wear those...they come from Saudi tho....not made here.....the over the head abayas cost $80 LE......you name the color.....I wonder how much you pay for them in the states??? Oh yeah...the problem with the mulhafa is when you raise your arms the abaya is really short....
7:28 AM
"unfortunately so many of the regions where Muslims are the majority have been contaminated by this nasty disease via colonization/westernization/globalization that the line of distinction between the lands of the kufaar and the lands of the Muslims are extremely blurred. "
I'm sorry I can't agree.. Saudi women always dressed modest to a degree and it always conformed with what the Quran has ordered women to do. However, within the last 60 years has Saudi women been forced to dress and conform to these so-called modest measures in protection of their "honor". The west and other facters have nothing to do with eastern men actting like they will die if they see a ankle. They were already off the rocker long ago and you can see several hadith as testiment to their behavior. Instead of condeming this behaviour and making it uncomfortable for men to act this way. They same way they make it uncomfortable for women to do almost anything, people cuddled and promoted this behaviour. The boys turned to men and were never MADE to take responsiblity for their actions. It don't matter anyway because all the honor of the house is on the women. So if she is raped its her fault, if she is spoken to in a ill manner its her fault, beatin its her fault, sold away to some old manin marraige.. its her fault too.. she is a burden to take care off at home andt hey are force to give her away for money or other needs. Whats worst is the women promote it and allow it to happeb to other women. The mindset is the problem and will always be the problem until boy-men are forced to be responsible for their actions instead of us women.
4:14 PM
with a comment like that you open an entire new can of worms.....
12:17 AM
fantastic discussion. I always wondered what the rationale was truly for niqaab. Thanks for the explanations. I dont necessarily agree with some of them.. like.. okay must upgradre from hijab to jilban b/c hijab still gets numbers, must upgrade further to niqab because still getting hit on. I mean at some point men must take accountability for their own actions. As someone stated niqabis still get hit on. Now what. Never leave the home? Perhaps you would think this is the correct next step. I don't know. I hope that doesnt seem rude. I serioulsy wonder.
I appreciate the discussion th ough. One of my friends recently took niqab and I'm afraid toa sk her because I dont want her to get defensive. So it was nice to hear about it like this.
8:05 AM
ur right......how much higher can you upgrade, eh? I never thought of it like that. And don't forget the ever important...I'm going to wear all black step.......I don't mind any questions...and comments....I love variety in peoples perspectives....it makes things more interesting....
10:32 AM
Assalamu alaikum
I have to admit it has been interesting reading this blog and all the varied comments, alhamdulillah ... so much so, that it has prompted me to start my own blog! :)
I'm currently transitioning into wearing niqab ... right now I don't wear it full-time, but inshaAllah I will soon. My own reason for chosing this options is not for cultural reasons ... and yes, my main reason is as an act of worship to Allah swt and inshaAllah, gain reward for it!
I do notice that I feel different when I wear niqab to when I don't, alhamdulillah ... I feel much more calm and peaceful inside when I wear it, I feel that I am doing something to please my God swt, I actually enjoy wearing it (even though I admit, it is sometimes hot and stuffy especially if I am walking somewhere).
But ultimately .... I live in a supposedly free country ... so I can choose whether to wear this or not, free from cultural influences. This I think is a woman's right ... it's not even about the debate whether it is fard or mustahab (we will leave that to the scholars!) ... that is not the issue. If a woman choices to wear nicab it should be her own free choice away from pressure from family, society, culture, just like whether to wear hijab, abaya, or any act of worship ... whether there is reward or punishment for our actions is up to our God swt, not up to the judgement of mankind!
May Allah swt reward all Muslims throughout the world for their good deeds and acts of worship, whatever they might be, together with making the path easy for them to do this, inshaAllah. Ameen
7:32 AM
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