the phone call...
Yesterday the Ex called me. It was so strange, he's calling me for a change? For a first time?He asked me what the kids were doing this weekend because he wanted them for the long weekend. (forever) I told him that I had plans and we have company coming this weekend. He pushed it a bit.....can I have them for 2 of the days then?
So then I just said to him..."Look. I'm sure by now Noora has told you that I overheard your conversation with your daughter. I don't see it happening that you'll be taking the kids again."
So he played dumb. What did you overhear? All I said to Maryam was not to be upset and don't cry and that I'd do what I can to make her happy.
Really? Really? And what about the part of "look for your passports.....or lets wait until Cleo leaves.....or when does Mama leave you alone with your brother?"
Do you think he'd admit to saying those things....?? Nope...he accused me of putting words into his mouth. Or saying that he didn't say it, but he thinks Noora said those things. So I then said to him.....I really didn't expect you to own up to your words....but it makes no difference....I KNOW what I heard and you KNOW what you said....so here it goes....
"I am no longer satisfied with you taking the kids out anymore. If you'd like to visit with the children it will have to be supervised....so I suggest when you come over, you sit in my backyard with them, or I'll meet you at the park with them. But you will not be taking them alone anymore. I'm not going to lose my children....!"
His response?
"thank you very much. Goodbye"
click.
posted by Safa at 6:58 AM
13 Comments:
Safa, only COURT or SOCIAL SERVICES supervised. I wouldn't put ANYTHING past him and you could be in danger.
1:52 PM
ditto.
4:08 PM
i wouldnt trust him near them even if you were sitting with your leg tied to his (God forbid)...do not trust him at all. tell him to go the hell on to egypt.
4:35 PM
ditto BIG time! You need a court ordered supervisor. Get your daughter to tell a lawyer or judge what was said to her!
6:21 PM
Hey he's not paying child support so he shouldn't have the right to see them at ALL! He's poison for each of those kids!
6:27 PM
ayee chiwawa! he just gets more and more amazing, doesnt he?
Safa, do not put you or the children in harms way. Get cracking on those supervised visitations.
Also, I have to say I agree with PM on the 15 yr old stuff. She really needs a wake up call and has to stop acting like this. Putting her head in the sand is not the solution for her life. My heart aches for her not to be able to resolve these feelings and I can only imagine what it does to you.... but she can not/should not bully the other kids..
love to you Safa!! my thoughts and prayers are with you and the kiddos..
7:47 PM
ditto cindi's first comment---nothing without a court appointed guardian--plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....yikhbat raasu fil hait!
2:19 AM
When I talked to my 15 yr old, I also told her to wake up and start taking some responsibility! I was very tough and mean with her to the point I had her in tears and crying, but I didn't let up. I just kept thinking to myself.....she needs to hear this....
Remember her panic attack? It was brought on after the ex dropped her off from a weekend at his house...alone. He constantly pummels her with BS and it takes its hold on her. The only thing I can do about her is just hope and pray that she gets herself in line on her own accord. I've done what I can for her and she's chosen her path.
You all are right about no visits with only court approval.....that's the only solution. Although the "tying my leg to his" made me think a bit....loool!
Haven't heard a word from him since the phone call....
8:16 AM
Salam Safa,
Yes, please be very careful.
I'm really afraid he's gonna get the kids their egyptian passports and take them :(
3:39 PM
I am so glad you got in the loop on this. How horrifying. As for your 15 yo... she will only see what see wants to see. My uncle poisoned my cousins against their mother like this after a divorce, getting them to think she was crazy, mean, etc and not liking/loving her anymore. But their own father never following through on his own promises finally broke through to them and started questioning him and realizing he was causing the problems.
I am so sorry you are stuck in this situation.
4:46 PM
sharon could you really even imagine being TIED to him??? god looooool. we would have to commit you to the loony house!
i honestly pray noora changes her mind and doesnt go.
he hasnt called back because he knows you know and he knows he cant say a thing.
but dont think his mind is not ticking away for his next move.
7:49 PM
Salam Safa,
I'm sure you already know about this document, but just in case, here's the government's brochure on parental abduction and what to do to prevent it, etc.:
http://www.voyage.gc.ca/publications/child-abductions_enlevements-enfants-eng.asp
Also, make sure that you do the custody arrangement in a LEGAL way so request an emergency custody order and make sure that it's absolutely clear about where the children should be living, etc, etc. Because parents can claim that they're on "holiday" if you have joint custody or they can claim that they're "disputing arrangements". So make sure that the custody order is VERY clear that they're not to be with the father without supervision, that they can't leave the country, etc, etc, etc.
I agree with what others have said. I don't think this is the end of the issue and I think he will be thinking about plan B.
12:21 PM
The fact you haven't heard anything is even scarier. He's plotting and planning. Count on it! I guess at this point i would tell the 15 yr old she isn't old enough to make this decision. That you are the one with the legal means to make that decision. I don't know, that could blow up on you but I worry if he takes her with him he will only poison her more.
I'm praying all this comes out in favor of you and your children!
6:49 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home