Strange is the new norm....
Sometimes life is just.....sigh......strange.
Yesterday was a day when it became so very obvious. It's been just over 3 weeks and the ex hasn't shown up to take the kids. Neither has he called.
Strange.
After the first week of not showing up, I spoke to the 15 yr old about it. She told me that her father is very sick. The EX has told her that he's been in and out of hospital. Somehow, the back of my brain tickles when I listen to her telling me this... He told her that should he not turn up any weekend, that it's not because he doesn't want to be with her and her sisters and brother. But that he's probably in the hospital and can't come. It isn't his choice, at that point.
So strange.
Now it's over 3 weeks and the ex hasn't shown up and neither has he called. Is he in the hospital? Sick or dying? What could it be. I'm almost itching to call his phone number and see what he has to say.......but I refrain. Finally, I offhandedly ask my 15 yr old and she gets this look on her face....ooops! Oops?
Very strange.
Then she spills the beans. Her father is in Egypt. She tried calling him a week ago and got his wife. She explained that something happened and he had to leave. So my daughter gets a calling card and calls Egypt. Yes, he's there. Some emergency and he had to leave suddenly and couldn't call. He said he'll be back in Canada before the next court date.
Yeah right.
It isn't the first time that he's taken off and abandoned his children. Funny thing is.......this time no one noticed him gone...... I guess Mr. Penniless has some spare change if he can afford a ticket to Egypt.....which I'll make sure to mention to his lawyer.....
posted by Safa at 9:41 PM
10 Comments:
Not surprised.
5:19 AM
The 15 y.o. still feels compelled
to cover for him...has she not expressed distrust for him and his stories?
9:03 AM
I am not surprised he left. Not one bit. I think the whole "sick" thing was just a bunch of lies. Just buying his time for him to get is stuff together and leave. What surprises me is that the 15 year old still covers for him. It floors me that she sees you struggling and still covers for her father.
That the "something" that happened and had to go back to Egypt...It was he knew he was caught red handed and had to pay the piper.
I hate to say it, but it's a very slim chance he is coming back.
If I were you, I would not only tell his lawyer, but urs as well. and see what you could do if the chance that he does come back after he misses the court date (cause he will). Maybe along the lines of a warrant for back child and spousal support.
Hugs to you!!! I am sorry you are going through this. If you ever need to talk, I am always a phone call away and it's free for me to call you.
11:29 AM
Salam Safa!
I do hope you make your 15 year-old daughter understand that she cannot lie like this to you.
This is serious stuff and at 15, she should really know better. I do fear for her and the example her father has given her that it's OK to lie (and I mean BIG lies) to cover up your faults.
I cannot believe he just took off without saying good-bye to his children.
I do hope that, at least the youngest, will find in Sjon a father role model and that the damage your ex did will then be minimized.
12:25 PM
the fact that the 15 yr old told me...(after I questioned her)....doesn't bother me. If at first she was covering for him....when I asked her directly, she spilled. She didn't lie to me....and avoiding telling something isn't a bad thing.....
I do wonder if he'll actually make it back.......I really hope he doesn't......because that would just make the whole thing a lot easier...
4:13 PM
Goo point Caminante, but unfortunately many Muslims believe it is allowed in our religion to lie and cover things up for a Muslim. In fact, this is erroneously drilled in our heads all the time.
He's such an asshole and I have to admit that I see so many Egyptian men around here like him. Not a week passes that some Egyptian man doesn't put the moves on me to try to start up an affair while his wife is back in Egypt or suggest I become a secret second wife. LOL -- as if those creeps have ANYTHING I would want!
10:47 AM
Are you serious PM? That is crazy! When I was in egypt, I felt whole egypt was horny! No kidding! I would go walking nightly for awhile and I swear for a 2 mile walk at least 10 cars would pull up wanting me to get in and go somewhere to have sex. So then I decided to wear niqab and oh gosh that made it even WORSE! I didn't wear that anymore! I just finally bought a treadmill but still.. dang a woman should be able to go out in the street without being harassed by so called muslim men! They kept me prisoner in my home! BASTARDS!
The so called scholars always tell us we need to make hijrah to preserve our religion. YEAH RIGHT! Wallah now that I am back in the usa I have never been harassed like that walking down my street at night.
Yeah we have weirdos in every community but it isn't like its every other car pulling up asking you into their car.
I recently went Quran only (Quranist) and I have that freedom to do that and express it. Over there.. hmmmm not so much. I feel a sense of freedom here that I didn't have over there. And I feel closer to Allah as well. Even though many would beg to differ since I am now a quranist.
Anyhow... sorry I got off topic.
Safa now to you? This is probably a stupid question but will Egypt enforce a canadian child support court order?
6:18 PM
I know what you mean, Jannah. The thing is the people here would kill you if you told them you followed Quran only -- lol I always put Quran far above anything else and use it as my guidance. If the hadith don't hold up to the Quran, then I can't follow them. But of course, this is very "dangerous territory" to many. :)
4:41 AM
If you would have asked me a long time ago if I'd follow Quran only and not hadeeth, I probably would have thought something wasn't right in your brain. But then I started talking to a woman like that, and understood where she was coming from. I remember having a conversation later about it in Egypt when I accidentally took a drink with my left hand....and someone pointed it out to me. When I responded by saying it's only sunnah and that Allah won't ask me about it....they were shocked. But its true.....
Anyways....no, Egypt won't enforce a court order.....
About horny egyptian men.....yup.....tons of them.....I imagine that there are thousands of girls that are molested and raped there but they can't tell anyone for shaming their families. It's always kept under wraps..... Very sad.
6:41 AM
I had the same experience in Saudi... it was disturbing!
And even thought I was wearing a black abaya, gloves and niqab it was apparently still my fault... you see I have green eyes and even with the niqab you could see that I'm white as a ghost so I was "oh so alluring". It was suggested that I wear a full veil (you know the black thing that even covers your eyes) but there's no way in hell I would have worn such a dangerous piece of clothing... next thing you know I was gonna get run over by a car for not having good vision!
And then we have the guts to say how "oh... Islam places women in such a high position". Well, Islam does, but many Muslims certainly don't! And it's not the odd case here and there, it is a systemic harrassment and oppression of women and for some reason people refuse to address this!
GRRRRR....
8:44 AM
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