You deserve the best....
The ex was supposed to show up at 4 pm yesterday. And like usual......he didn't. I was thinking of asking him to get the two youngest children new summer sandals and was feeling a bit nervous about it. Him being late, (or even the possibility of him not showing up) was weighing heavily on me.
Did I really need him to buy them sandals? I knew he'd only go and buy them Walmart sandals and I could easily do that as well. Should I say it or not?
Finally at 4:30 pm, I came to a decision....I took the two youngest and headed to payless shoes. They have a deal on right now....buy one pair and get the 2nd at half price. Their shoes are much nicer than walmarts. Got the kids feet measured....(OMG, my 7 yr old wears size 1 and has pretty narrow feet)....we walked out of there, both children carrying their bags with their new shoes in boxes. Oh so happy!
What made me change my mind? Well, I was thinking....so far he has done diddly squat for the kids so why suddenly should 2 pair of walmart sandals make a difference? I wasn't waiting for him to buy them something useful and neither would I go out and beg him to take care of his kids. I don't need it.
We go to court on May 10th for the support. Whatever gets decided then is good enough for me. My kids deserve the best.....and at least.....the best that I can give them.
The ex finally rolled in at 7 pm......only the two youngest were supposed to be going, but when the 15 yr old went out to talk to him, he guilted her into going as well. It didn't matter that she's missed the last three days of school and just that very morning I was at the walk in clinic with her. MM had cooked a special dinner for her, she had to go. I doubt she'll be able to eat it without throwing it up....her throat is inflamed 3 sizes larger than normal. But my 15 yr old couldn't disappoint her Baba....oh no. She'll go with him to his 1 bedroom apt and sweat and cough her heart out on the livingroom floor.
If you could only see the tears in her eyes as she was leaving.....she didn't want to go, but she HAD to. Even at this very moment this A.M......I'm haunted by her eyes. And the realization that she is very much like me. Not being able to say no when she feels an obligation. I'm going to put every effort into teaching her how to avoid such situations and how to get herself out of them..... I wish someone would have taught me.
So off the kids went yesterday.........the weekend seems long without them.
posted by Safa at 8:47 AM
2 Comments:
My prayer is that he will run away from his child support and get out of their lives for now. Let him try to build a relationship with them when they are adults -- ON THEIR TERMS. Because for now all he is doing is bringing conflict into their lives and trying to drive a wedge between you and them for his own selfish reasons. They may not like it, but if I were you I would put a stop to this unsupervised, unstructured visitation.
Let him support them with CASH (not an occasional pair of worthless shoes and meals from Burger King) that goes to you to provide for them. And set some boundaries with regards to visitation. I think a 15 minute to 30 minute max is a reasonable grace period. After that, he loses his visitation for that time.
You got ballz babe, but you need to grow them a little bigger for the sake of your kids :P
Love you <3
11:48 AM
You do have what it takes! Those kids are already very aware of what you try to do for them and how their father fails them.
You made the right decision about the shoes. Because you're right, he wouldn't get them what they needed.
Keep being the strong woman you are being and lead by example for your daughters, so that they can be strong people who can't be guilted into being who they aren't.
11:47 AM
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