the 14 yr old and her trip to Egypt....

Daddys' girl was determined to go to Egypt this summer. I let her go, but I had some doubts and even some worries....her father was ridiculous till the very end. Refusing to sign for Abdu's passport renewal....telling me on the phone..."where do you need to take him anyways?" I ended up going to Immigration and Passport Canada with my custody papers and found a HUGE surprise.....the ex signed off all his rights to the kids. I didn't need his stinking signature anyways. So Abdu's passport got renewed.....:-)

The EX had tickets for himself and his daughter to travel together....he incited her against me in so many ways before he left. Telling her to call 911 if I wouldn't let her go, telling her to steal her passport and hide it. Oh so many stupid things all full of drama. (including trying to get her to talk to her sisters and rally them all against me....which she also didn't do) I thank God for the relationship I have with my daughter, because she told me everything and I was able to calm her fears....I looked her in the eyes and told her... I'm letting you go to Egypt, don't worry!

So she left to Egypt and he treated her like a queen. Giving her every couple of days about $200 LE in her pocket....she took taxis everywhere and ate only the best of the best. No fuul and falafel for her, he told her.... He gave her money to buy clothes and shoes and provided her with every thing she could need. But of course, he's rich in money.....and dirt poor in character in his ability to give his love. She told me he spent much time talking about me, working himself up into a foul mood, and then brooding for the rest of the time. She got tired of trying to talk, to defend, because it just got him more upset.

Then one day, my oldest says to me, I want to go to Egypt now too. I was pretty surprised, knowing that her relationship with her father was non-existant. But she was adamant about wanting to set the family straight. She said to me that her younger sister will tell everyone what they want to hear and make us all look bad. She HAD to go, it was her duty. So it was arranged, between her and her father....and she was to stay just 3 short weeks. Coming back before her sister.

Now I had two girls in egypt. My oldest sent me heart wrenching emails, saying that she couldn't stand her father. Saying he was blaming her for all sorts of ridiculous things....and when her dad started saying stupid things, she wouldn't let him....she'd confront him and remind him of the things he used to do. It would only anger him more and then it would turn into him shouting, and her crying. Her younger sister didn't help, because she'd already learned this the hard way.

I told her to stop defending, and start trying to enjoy this as a little vacation. She spent time with her cousins, had pictures professionally taken....and thankfully relaxed. Funny thing tho....he didn't give her money like her sister. And he wouldn't let her go anywhere on her own, unless her sister went with her.

A week after my oldest arrived....the ex finally divorced MM for the third time. She's still in Canada, and was travelling back and forth to Egypt.....but it seems he called her in Canada and divorced her by phone. Such is the methods of cowards...... And then, a week later, became engaged to the daughter of a Sheikh there in the same city.

So my oldest comes home, and I get a phone call from the 14 yr old, saying that she's thinking of staying in Egypt. I was expecting this phone call....and not really surprised. My answer? I told her that no one goes to Egypt to do high school....and come home and grow up with her family, her brother and sisters. She told me that her father needs her. And sadly, I told her...I think he needs more than you have to give, honey. Even if you stay with him, it will never be enough. I told her to come home and live her life....he's an adult, he can choose how to live his....and by trying to break up what family we have left, isn't the solution for him. (I also told her that he could always live in Canada to be part of their lives)

So she came home....and finally, I slept easy again, having all my kids under one roof. I'm thankful they made it back....and am even thankful that they went. It was therapeutic, don't you think? Considering how we left, no one got a chance to say goodbye. Maybe from this point on, they can move on.

Oh the ex sent word with the 14 yr old....he didn't send any gifts for any of the other children. He told her that whoever wanted something from him, had to come to Egypt to get it. Perhaps when he croaks, we'll make our way there.

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And about me.....the wedding date is tentative....for January 15th. I'm excited and can't wait.......