Great green gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts.....
.....mutilated monkeys meat,
dirty little birdies feet,
all these things I really, really want to eat...
OOPS!
I forgot my spoon!
~~~~
Welcome to a new brand of CRAZY!! (don't worry guys, it's not contagious, I checked)
I've decided to take a drive over to Azhar and talk to the sheikhs there. Oh I know....they'll tell me to be patient. But I plan to stretch that one a little and ask them...okay, I'm patient....THEN WHAT? So that's a good step, I think.
Other news. Well, my downstairs SIL called me yesterday. Supposedly the Hubster called his brother....for reasons I don't know.......but the BIL talked to him a bit. So he gets his wife to call me and tell me that hubby is seriously depressed. BIL wants me to call hubby and say a couple of words to him. I almost bit my tongue when the SIL told me that. She went on to tell me that hubby is coming to Egypt maybe the end of this month. And many other little things.....sigh.
But in the end, I did get mad. I turned around and told her.....you know what ur husband's problem is? He still believes in his brother. And thankfully, I DON'T! I told her that I don't believe that hubby will be here at the end of the month....and that I'll remind her of it. She asked me if I still want a divorce.
I said to her that I'm going to Azhar...and that I don't see any other solution for me. I told her, I can no longer be married to a man who has another wife.......I carry the marriage on my OWN back, because I get treated unfairly.....and I am not living apart anymore. SO.......if he comes back to Egypt to STAY forever, NO MORE CANADA.....and he's a MONOGAMOUS husband.....I may have a change of mind. I may.
Truth is.....I don't think hubby would go for it. I don't think hubby will every morph back into the good husband he used to be. He's changed. So have I. I have too much hurt and pain to deal with him. Even if I only had to deal with him half the time. HAHA...P joke pplz!
He's still not talking to me. And I'm pissed. I wrote another letter to the sheikh....and alhamdulillah, I got a new email address for him, so I hope he gets this one! I'm going to Azhar....just for peace of mind....and to piss off my BIL.......
And me?? I've been keeping extremely busy. Going out with the kids. Shopping. Swimming. Visiting. Guests. And I plan to continue this. Because whenever I stop I hear this song in my head.....
Greet green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts....
I'm not kidding. It's playing in my head over and over.....a little distracting. Is it dark to be hearing this? I keep wondering....the song is of all these disgusting things and the kid forgets his spoon.....did he mean to forget it? With the food on the menu, it's possible.
It seems like I've been eating from this menu for two years....it's been shoved down my throat. My gentle, patient throat........as long as I keep busy...I don't have to think about it.....
And who would really want to? (jeez I'm mad!)
posted by Safa at 5:08 AM
15 Comments:
Assalamu Alaiakum Sister,
dont forget to ask him how many years you need to be wait
My duas are with you
my account won't let me log in.
salma_tkm
9:51 AM
Asalaam alaikum sis,
Stay strong and do your best with the sheikhs. If I remember right your hub owes you 9+ months of time? If that's not patience, I don't know what is. You deserve some sort of relief and I will keep you in my dua. Allah with you.
5:45 PM
I wish you'd done this years ago but qadr Allahu mashaa fa'al. I think y'uve taken sane steps. and go on with your life. and we'll see how things turn out :-)
Insh'allah for hte best for you and your kids safa!!
6:54 PM
Asalamalaykom Silly Safa,
Well, better that song than some sappy Amr Diab ditty.
Count yer blessings!
7:26 PM
Safa,
I have been reading your blog for quite sometime. Through all of this pure hell. You have been a wonderful mother. You haven't had a pity party for yourself. You continue to raise the bar how someone can handle personal crisis. I look up to you; I don't always agree with your decisions. I am not walking in your shoes. Why on earth can't you just file for divorce? I don't understand the laws that govern Egypt. I am just wondering how long do you have to wait? Remember God is with you and the angels are watching over you and your children. You all are protected. :)
Amira
9:13 PM
I can file for divorce...sure. In Egypt, I could get the sheikh to do a quick Khula. But to do it legally....it takes a while. Women have been allowed to seek Khula since 2000. The courts are backlogged, you have to go to mandatory mediating, (husband isnt even in Egypt!!) and then it'll be granted. I give up support money, and BY LAW, my oldest with HAVE to go live with her father.
I don't want go that route....unless........
Believe me, I'm doing the right thing...the right way.....
1:09 AM
Salam safa,
have you explained to your sil fully the hurt and pain that you have been feeling? I mean have you kept her in the loop all throughout this ordeal? If she fully understands your situation, then she can explain to her husband the true extent of the situation.
Starlight
2:44 AM
Bu why is an Egyptian divorce so important?
If you really do want a divorce, in Canada you have grounds to sue for abandonment, with no penalty to you. You would have to get the birth certificate issue resolved for your son though. That can be done through legal means in Egypt. Takes some legwork but can be done. I checked. It has been done.
I would fix the birth certificate issue before I asked anyone for divorce. Your husband has no motivation to fix the birth certificate. Infact he would be disinclined to fix it because it suits his position better.
Sadiyah
3:40 AM
may Allah be with you....it seems a bit difficult to do a khula.... but if its the only way out do it...i see that you have been suffering enough ... and with all the time he owes you...i think you should ask your oldest ... so you would be able to do the khula and i think she is 15 right?? well that gives her 3 years to be with her father.. then she can come back...i know that i have a different view of all this but from what i have been reading...i think you should do the khula before any more pain to you or your children
5:42 AM
Assalamu Alaykum Sister, I have been reading your blog for about 6 months. I check in with you everyday, I make dua for you and your kiddos everyday!!!!! Let me just tell you something, I have had my own taste of insanity like you have as well (with the SAME similar subject), I feel you getting stronger MashaAllah!!!!! You know, instead thinking "why me, god oh why" speaking for myself, I started thinking maybe divorce is what Allah wants for both of us. Like this part of our lives is over, and he BIGGER AND BETTER is waiting for us. We just have to get over this hurdle and it hurts like hell ****unfortunately****!!!! Easier said than done "Give it to ALLAH". I know you have been, but free your heart and perhaps even be excited for what may be waiting for you at "the end of the rainbow". OK, just to leave you with a bit of craziness myself, this song plays over and over in my head from Hee Haw in the 70's. I don't know if you've ever seen it. "Where oh where are you tonite, why did you leave me here all alone, I searched the world over and thought I found true love, you met another and pllll (spitting noise) you were gone!!!
Take care sister--I feel you!!!
Salaam
6:57 AM
Assalamu'alaikum my lovely Safa,
I've been away for quite sometime, but I see some progress (if you can even call it that). At least it's moving in the right direction, Insya'Allah. That's all that matters, right now. But I can attest to all this red tape stuff coz I'm having to go through it myself too. You know, the way I see it is that we can't rush things. Sure we want to get rid of the pain ASAP, but you gotta be smart about it too, even if it takes months or years. Right now I'm doing my own study on different things I might want to do if ever I have to support myself.
Anyway, just hang in there girl, Allah is on your side...just make sure you use the noggin that he provided you with (ie. THINK), sis! Take care.....!:)
Oh, this is me
SEEKER OF THE TRUTH!:)
8:13 AM
I'm going to look into fixing the Egyptian BC again.....I was told something new today.
1:40 PM
When we sang the song after the part where we said "and me without my spoon" we added..."but there's a straw..." I thought about this because I have heard several different versions of this song but I never thought of it as a metaphor before. Many of us are forced to eat sh-- during various points in our lives. You my friend have decided not to eat poop anymore-even though it has been force fed to you. I have this image of you closing your mouth and shaking your head like a little child would do. :) You keep shaking your head and gathering your strength. As the song goes..."A change is gonna come...."
2:22 PM
Safa...Remember your risq is from Allah...not your stbeh, inshallah.
Love and Salam,
~Brooke
11:30 PM
Safa,
Sorry to hear about your case. But unfortunately, there is no rule of law in Egypt and judges are bought. My ex-wife from Alexandria came with me to the US and then with help of her family escaped back to Egypt to file for khula. She got in 3 months showing up in court only once. No mediation and returned no shabka or mahr although we submitted proof. She stole over 130,000 LE. This is a becoming a common trick in Egypt to rob hard working men.
8:57 PM
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