comment war....
My daughter is having a comment war on her blog. I'm really not too pleased about it.... Some comments are made with wisdom and understanding and some aren't. But most are great advice to a girl who is hoping to preserve her faith..... (even if she did say some things in her post that I don't agree with....it's her blog....)
But what I don't like....is the person hiding under the name of Umm. Is that supposed to imply a woman? As Umm (mother)....or someone who doesn't know what to say and is just saying...ummmmm...??
Whichever one is fine.......but you know what I'd prefer? If they'd just say who they are and not hide behind such a name. Obviously it's someone who knows us....on a very personal level......and I can only count about 5 people who it could actually be. I have to think about who has personal knowledge of us.....who speaks english fairly well........and who would be able to use a computer.
So if they are reading my blog......(don't think they've ever commented)....I'd really prefer they come out of the blog closet and just say who they are.
So go ahead......let us all know.
I'm waiting....
posted by Safa at 3:23 PM
24 Comments:
i'll post my comment here too... can't u compare IP addresses from the 'annonymous' poster to the suspected person?
3:59 PM
the other blog is Cleo's.....so thats in her power if she so chooses to do it.....
Did u notice how Umm used the Ex's first name? Have I ever written that anywhere? There were also another couple of things mentioned where it seems that person had first hand knowledge....(I think it was about me saying the ex could have another wife)....but again, it's out of context and although it happened.....it was not me giving permission to him to go ahead and marry whenever he felt like it. And besides all that.....my marriage problems were not all about him having another wife....
Anyways....I'm hoping that Umm will own up to who they are....
4:46 PM
I am glad all your kids are back home. I think Cleo's father has been playing games with her. IN the sence that he will not allow any kids to come to Egy. unless thye all come. He is planning something, and i believe planting something in her mind. And i am not talking totally about being a Muslim.I think that gave him his open door to get her to help.
My dua's are with you all
4:59 PM
I was shocked whehm ummm wrote your ex's first name when you haven't said it once here or your daughter. I thought inmediatly it was someone close to you. It is very sad that so many disgusting things are being said in her blog, she shouldn't have to read most of the things people wrote there, they completly forgot she is 17... :-(
5:20 PM
Safa - I have been reading Cleo's blog, never saying anything on there (at least I don't think I have). I was thinking about if you ever mentioned the ex on here and the only thing I could think of is maybe this Umm person could have seen the newspaper article that you did awhile ago. It does have his name on there.
My heart goes out to her. I think she is really going through a tough time and I wouldn't be surprised if her father is saying things about you and I think she is picking up a lot of things from spending time with him. Has she changed since he has been back?
If you ever need to talk, I am here for you. Love and Hugs!!
5:32 PM
safa, i picked up on the name right away. and elena, unless "Umm" is a stalker, i doubt she'd remember the ex's name from that article :)
i think you are showing remarkable patience and love in letting cleo vent and express herself without over reacting and putting her in a more difficult position. it's so hard being a teenager. and i think the culture shock and the sudden freedom from the strict rules ur ex implemented in egypt are still affecting her now. she is sort of like a pendulum... when she first experienced all these changes she swung hard in the opposite direction of everything she knew and tested her new limits. now her swing is settling a bit and she's trying to find that equilibrium that will guide her into adulthood. good luck to you both as you struggle to help her find her place.
6:08 PM
Assalamu `alaykum,
I feel a little guilty because part of me knew that we shouldn't trouble your young daughter with our "war" but I have such a hard time keeping quiet in the face of what I perceive as injustice :(
I am really sorry I and truly hope I have not overwhelmed your daughter.
I'm sure you know this, but should you wish to check the person's identity, if the "suspects" ever sent you an email, is to compare the IP from the emails with the IP of the comments and... voila!
BTW, I've just finished reading a book written by a Muslim woman on how our communities are failing us, and how we are at war with each other, how we lack adab, etc, etc. and... she's so right. It's so easy for things to get out of hand and start killing each other over our differences... :(
7:36 PM
Today after reading the comments on Cleo's blog, I went and reread your blog.I commented before that we have to be careful to judge or take side because we didn't know the whole story.I've come to realize by your comment here that I was more than right, we only know what you chose to disclose.
You never mentioned giving permission for your husband to marry a second until now,.When I read starting in 2006 , I was surprised that more than once you commented how good of a husband he was, good provider etc...all this until he married someone who wasn't of your liking.
This is a good reminder to everyone to be careful before judging by only one dimension of things.
I feel sad for Cleo, she is muslim and is struggling, she needs help and support and a good example of a muslim family.
8:31 PM
I appreciate a lot of the good advice and support that was offered to your daughter. She is obviously struggling and seems conflicted between how her life is going and how she thinks it should be. People need to remember that she is a child and, if necessary, leave the other comments on your blog not hers.
I think we should offer her our support without blaming either parent.
10:35 PM
Salam Alaykum Safa, I feel bad now for commenting, but like I wrote on her blog, reading her words, I saw a lot of myself (albeit 15 years ago) in Cleo. You guys' whole situation, although not exactly to a tee, is such parallel to what my family went through coming up. So while I've been reading her blog since she started, I couldn't fight the urge to comment this time. I wrestled with it for a full day before going in and writing something. So anyway, I know you're trying as hard as you can, and I'm sure Allah will work this out for all of you inshaa Allaah.
By the way, I was wondering how I recognized your ex's name when I read it in that comment by "Umm", and I remembered Cleo did mention his name in post titled "Climbing over the mountain." But still, that person knows a whole lot of details subhaan Allaah. Don't worry, Allaah will bring it all out and expose this person, I guarantee it. And he/she will be so humiliated, they won't even know what hit them. Just like in the qur'an in Surat Yusuf, when his (Prophet Yusuf's) master's wife was finally exposed for the wicked seductress that she was, in front of everyone!!! Allaah is Just! He sees all that we do, and as my grandmother used to say "God don't like ugly!"
7:07 AM
Sometimes even if a name was mentioned, it just doesn't come up so easily when writing out a comment to someones post.
There was a time, once long ago....when the ex brought up marrying another wife....he did this often in a joking matter.....and one time.....I responded by saying...go ahead.
But there's more. We were in front of friends....and I also said other things.....which basically was like me giving him an ultimatem about it.....it doesn't mean that I was agreeing in private and telling him do what he wants. It was more of a situation of me getting tired of the "second wife" banter and threatening him bodily harm.
It's very different.
I still have my ideas about who Umm is.....and I"m hoping the character will reveal their true identity.....
8:03 AM
I detect Yosra at work.... lol
10:41 AM
which is EXACTLY what Cleo said too.....
10:43 AM
Yosra?????? OMG is she still trolling??? People who live in glass houses.....
10:09 PM
whats her blog address?
8:03 PM
ayee chiwawa! It was so hard to remember my log in to this site. Finally remembered it!
Ok now on to what I wanted to say. I really admire Cleo and you. You have the kind of mother/daughter relationship that really nurtures the growth of your daughter. you have alot to be proud of for having given your daughter such a safe and comfortable enviroment to express whatever she is feeling without fear of any ill will from you.
Its a gift.
6:24 AM
I managed to read what was written before she wisely closed her blog and it is the most vile thing I think I have read on a blog before.
Yosra, are we talking Honorary Arab?
Why would she write such nasty things?
Wishing everyone a good weekend!
Alexandra
9:02 AM
Hi Alexandra!
Good to see you still around. Yes, that is the person we are referring to and there was a lot more to her than met the eye-- or what was displayed on the blog. One of the giveaways to me was this notion that women have to "keep themselves" up their husband or he is entitled to seek a plaything elsewhere. `There is a long pathology stemming from a life of seeking self-worth in the attention of men.
Let's keep in touch --
peacefulmuslimah@gmail.com
1:13 PM
Hey dear PM :-)
Gotta check up on dear Safa now and again, check in on you too but your blog has been at a stillstand, so it`s good when I see you pop up here, safe and all :-)
What an absurd situation this person has managed to put a teenager in, to have to block her own blog. The strangest thing for me, Cleo reaching out for islam, what an opportunity to help her with this wish and then you vomit personal vendetta insted. Twisted!
I am not so very well versed in this blogworld anymore, I just come here to see Safa once in a while and didn`t know Yosra had turned into a troll, although she has admitted to Norwegian roots, but in the time I roamed these streets, the only person I could not meet a middle ground with was her. I also saw what you saw, I think I commented on it once, that during one year of reading her blog she had managed to go through oh so many more men then single kafira me :-P
(yes, I do still stubbornly insist to be kafira :-P)
I once aspired to write the saga of HH but I lost count and got confused with all her men, so that book never came around :-P
I would love to keep in touch PM, a mail is coming your way and hope a wonderful weekend is upon ya`all!
Alexandra
8:28 AM
Hi Safa,
It seems things have quieted down. I'm so thankful for all of you. I forgot to send Cleo a request. Could you plz email her with my interest? Take care :-)
Gabrielle
amiragabrielle@aol.com
2:35 PM
Salam,
I thought the comment was SO sad and unfortunately part of the mentality of so many Muslim women who have come to expect so little of their men!
Don't get me started but I find it outrageous how on one hand everyone proclaims "women have a high status in Islam" and on the other (some) men treat some (some) women like doormats and it's somehow the woman's fault.
And this is why (some) Muslim men still continue to behave like spoiled brats.
And then, sadly, many of our daughters will end up with men that treat them like doormats because that's what they saw growing up, and our sons will behave like they're the kings of the world. Insha'Allah Sjon will be a good father model and your kids will be able to see a different pattern!
5:35 AM
It could be her but what about MM??? It wasn't me cuz I can't remember his name to save my life....But it does sound like something Yosra would do....
10:40 AM
for those who want an invite to cleo's blog...her email is morbbid_curiosity@live.ca
10:07 AM
morbid_curiosity@live.ca .. sorry..typo
10:08 AM
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