I did my part...
I called him 4 times yesterday....no answer. The phone rang and rang until it went into voice mail. Don't forget that the number I'm calling is MM's cell phone. (He uses it while in Canada) Who knows what happened.....maybe he's playing a game....maybe she is.
I'm working Friday night, so I can't drive the kids anyways....
So basically what you have is a lot of hot air...no plans. Nothing new.
posted by Safa at 9:58 AM
7 Comments:
Same as usual, right? I'm sure he'll paint you as the bad guy, as usual. This guy needs to get some new material!
Hugs!
Anisah
11:46 AM
Salam,
Do you have his email (or better yet) his mailing address while in Canada?
If so, I'd suggest you send him a letter by registered mail just reminding him of his child support debt, his tax return thing, and also to tell him that to organize a visiting schedule with the children he has to communicate WITH YOU, not with the children.
Finally, I would call the FRO about child payments. They're the ones that can tell you what to do to enforce child support payments.
Here's the contact info in case you don't have it:
Enforcement Call Centre: 416-326-1817 or toll-free at 1-800-267-4330
Also (I'm pretty sure you know this, but just in case), you might want to go to one of the family law information centers to get advice on what to do with visitation schedule, etc.
Here's the website:
http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/
All the best,
Caminante
5:22 AM
great advice Caminante....I'm already in contact with FRO....unfortunately I don't have a mailing address for where he is....perhaps if the kids actually do go with him...(should he ever call back, which he hasn't)...then I can get one.
9:35 AM
All you need to know is no matter how hard your ex works to make you look like the bad guy - Allah knows all and that is truly all that counts - does not matter what his family/friends think - only one counts and that is Allah - and he knows our intentions and what is in our hearts - so good luck trying to con the big guy.
7:48 AM
i'm sorry, but ur ex deserves a phD in manipulation. he does these things on purpose to ur kids... doesn't tell them ahead of time that he's coming (last time i checked 'march break' did not occur in feb), and then he sets up a scenario whereby he can still be catered to... he doesn't have a car so YOU are expected to bring the kids to him like he's a f'ng king or something. if i were u, i would offer to drop the kids off at a mall and he can meet them there, and then u can pick them up from there. i highly doubt that he's come all the way to Canada and has no way of getting around. i don't doubt it's hard to find transport for all the kids and himself, but i'm sure he can take a bus or a cab somewhere to meet them. force him to make some effort to see his kids.
5:46 PM
There's also some VERY easy thing called... CAR RENTAL!
It should not be THAT hard to rent a car... jeez!
I would very scared though of leaving the kids with just him for a while... I'd be scared that he and his manipulative tactics might scar the kids :( That's why I thought it was a great idea for him to stop by Safa's house and be with the kids.
7:23 PM
Safa,
I commend you for all your efforts and I am so sorry your kids are being put in the middle. Of course, if your ex wasn't such a controlling nutball, you'd still be together, so its not much of a surprise. I wish that you had taken the phone away from the 14-yr-old and told him yourself what the plan was, rather than asking her to relay it to him, because you are then accepting his terms that going through the kids is okay. I'm not faulting you, you are treating him like a normal person, but that is clearly a mistake. I still think you should maybe get an intermediary to deal with him, like your lawyer, to leave a message that all visitation plans must go through you, and any voicemails he leaves for the kids will be ignored by you. If the kids pass on his messages, your response should be, "tell him to call me (or your lawyer) directly so we can work it out." You don't have a choice about his trying to manipulate you through them, but at least you don't need to play his game. It would be nice if you could block him from their phones, but they would probably resent that intrusion. The good news is he will probably skip town soon so be out of your hair for a while again.
1:53 PM
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