Lies.....
I spent time on the phone yelling at my sister in law. Oh, how I hate that. I am not a person who likes yelling like this. Years ago, I would have told you that I am incapable of it.
But take me and put me in a country where you don't get heard unless you start yelling....and slowly, you learn. Sigh. Still, I hate it.
As I hated the phone call.
That's the last call I'll make to that SIL. I heard so much stupidity that I was fed up. Silly, silly, stupid things......all of them meant to entice me and the kids back to Egypt.
*the villa is ready and waiting for you now
*oh Hubbex doesn't love MM, she's only in Egypt to make him feel better.
*Hubbex isn't sending us money because if he does, then we'll stay in Canada. He's trying to encourage us to come back to Egypt. (OH BOY!!! GRRRRRR!!!!)
*the whole family will make sure that we are taken care of if we come back.
*Supposedly if Hubbex comes back to Canada, he'll go to jail for 5 years because he married two wives.
*I stole the marriage certificate of Hubbex and MM, and sold it to the media
*I want to break up a family
*Hubbex is still deeply in love with me, and only keeps MM around to help heal his heart
*Hubbex hasn't gotten married yet because every girl he sees isn't as good as I was
......are you gagging yet? Either that, or thats the best BS you've heard in a long time.
Time for Safa to move on........and I'm looking at new things....new horizons.......and I pray that Allah blesses me in it.
posted by Safa at 6:10 PM
14 Comments:
My dear Safa - it is time to truly close the door on your Egyptian adventure - close it tight and lock it and throw away the key - it is done - it is over - and you have to let go to be able to move on and move on you must - for yourself and for your kids. I am sure that you will be blessed - as you already have been - in all that you choose to do. Now it is time for Safa/Sharon to hear the beat of that drum and take it as her own. Choose your path and look forward - not backward as that will only drag you down. You know that here that is not considered lying - it seems to be the norm to be told what you want to hear - even though it is not true - can not quite figure that out myself I see it as a lie - but it is not considered one - whether that comes from Islam or the culture - who knows - hthe line between religion and culture is very very blurry - almost non-existent. Take a deep breath - let go of the past - for it is behind you - and you have so much to look forward to - what an adventure and you are certainly up for it. Grab onto the 'rod' in front of you and pull yourself from the quagmire of the past - the present is yours - time to open it and find out what Allah has in store for you. Miss you - take care of yourself.
1:12 AM
Safaaaa I'm sorry you still have to deal with this bulls***t. Ignore them. If they call, don't answer the phone! I can't believe they do this to you still:-( But cheer up, you have the best of it all: a new life in Canada, wonderful family and lot of supportive friends!!!!
2:25 AM
I dont know what to say,your the best judge of charactor when it comes to your inlaws, if it smell like shit it usually is. Dont answer their phone calls let the kids tell them your out, you dont need the added stress
4:35 AM
Egyianqueen is right Safa. Time to move on. You've witnessed exactly what became of the ex and MM. They are stuck in a life of lies and deceit. Truly they will have to pay the piper one day. You got out and for that you have to be so grateful you never look back. Except in joy that you escaped--like you escaped from a burning building and saved yourself and those you love--those you are responsible for.
Also egyianqueeh said something very telling "You know that here that is not considered lying - it seems to be the norm to be told what you want to hear - even though it is not true -" YES!!! Here we are not told the truth--only what they think we need to hear--which makes for a lot of mental cases in my opinion. I like it here but there's no doubt too many Egyptians are f'ed up becuz they never get the straight talk--the TRUTH. They only get this surreal sugar coated version of very important things. How can you ever make a sound decision when you're continuously spoon fed bullsh*t? Alhamdulilah you're out of this insanity that in so many ways TRULY defines EGYPT! YUCK!
5:11 AM
Safa yes it is time to break all ties. Do they call you? If so change your number, do they know where you live? I know you are smart enough to avoid them. I also know its easier said than done, you were married to him a long time and those feelings dont die easily. If he truly wants you and the kids in his life, he would contact you, or even his kids. Its pretty obvious what his decision is. Its his family now trying to right the situation, not him. Let him go, anyway you know how, but let him go.
5:57 AM
It`s some of the worst BS I have ever heard.
The Villa is not ready. The ground floor is infested.
Hubbex uses women to "make him feel better". To him women are not humans, they are objects.
Hubbexx would your children rather starve in Canada then to open his wallet and let you make the decision to come back freely.(Again proving he does not see you as human beings but objects in his life)
The whole family aquired superpowers lately so that they can control your Hubbex?
I hope the line about him going to jail in Canada is not BS.
You Catburglar you! I can just imagine you keeping your hijab low to the ground peeking in windows of their home trying to figure out where the paper is so you can break in and take it.
Break up what family?
Awww, love hurts, humping another always helped.
So, the deeply in love familyman is looking for another object, but none has all the appliances of the old one. Ah! Aaaaah!
You will have to deal with these people for some time in your life since they are also the family of your children. Try to avoid the phone though, insist on using mail. That way shouting is just turning on caps lock and you do not have to remember their BS but can store it for future giggles!
Hugs!
6:49 AM
everyone has said it all. when youre doing great, really bad men have a way of pulling you back in and bringing you down.
best advice? dont even take the calls from the in laws. this is how the pain is being kept raw and alive.
close the door safa.
7:34 AM
agree with jana z
8:23 AM
Its the lies people tell themselves that are oddest of all. How can SIL say something like hubbex isn't sending you money because he is trying to get you to come to Eqypt and not see herself what a horrifying and manipulative thing that is, EVEN IF TRUE???
Sadly, it is not likely that hubbex would face jail in Canada, because MM's ex tried that route and was soundly rebuffed.
Oh you are so lucky to be out of there, my heart goes out to you for the pain they keep causing you.
This should bring you just a bit of cheer:
http://open.salon.com/content.php?cid=40113
8:56 AM
I'm sorry they are being such idiots. I'm glad you got out of there when you did. I agree, change your number. You don't need to deal with this crap again.
Anisah
5:46 PM
I agree with everyone: change your number!! It's not doing anyone any good to keep entertaining such phone calls. unless he's planning on supporting his children, there really isn't any need for contact. If they need to reach you, they can just tell your niece there and she can pass the message on to you.
7:16 PM
I'm still laughing at Kafira's...."humping another always helped..."
LOOOL!
Oh, that made me laugh more than anything has in a long time......not a bad idea really....LOOOL!!!
11:44 AM
As salam aleikum Safa sweetie. It's been so long since I came to your blog. I felt awhile like I was intruding. But I started getting curious about you and the kids. I'm sad to see that you are suffering so much.
That whole thing about he doesn't want to give you money because he wants you back in Egypt reminded me of arguing with my 6 year old.
Sometimes he starts whining and complaining and I just say, if you would treat me better, you would have had what you supposedly want. I would GIVE IT TO YOU, but now I can't reward your bad behavior.
If he was the kind of man who would give you the money anyway, because it was the right thing to do, you would never have had to leave in the first place.
It kind of reminds me of my dad too, who I have just recently pissed off. He and my mom went through a messy divorce, and it made everyone's lives hell. All he remembers, though, is that HE lost out on a great family, that HE had to sacrifice just to stay in our lives. I agree he had a rough time, but sometimes the grown up should just be the grown up, and say, yeah, it's hard on me, but I'm an adult dammit, I can take it. What about these kids?
I'm glad you focus so much on your children. You are the adult dammit. :D
Sorry, that sounded like I think you are whining and complaining, but what I meant to do was commend you for being that strong woman who doesn't drown so deeply in her own sorrows that she can't see her children suffer. I was that child suffering, with grown ups all around me who wanted to control my every feeling, but never cared what I was really feeling. I'm glad you are not making your children be those children.
So... this has been really long. I have switched email accounts, and it took my foggy brain a few minutes to remember my password. Would you be so kind as to invite americanmuslimgirl@gmail.com, that is, if you still want me around here? Lol.
Keep your chin up dear.
Ma3a salama.
(PS my name is Safiyyah but the thing says Safyy and I dont feel like changing it. I used to also go by "sharshur" so you might remember me as such.)
11:18 PM
Safa, we have this saying in the south...."Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya."
Slam that door and move on.
You'll be fine.
Egypt was an adventure. Good and Bad. Now a new chapter has opened.
Wake up today and start ur new life. Don't be idle anymore.
Love ya
6:53 PM
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