It's a hard blow....
....and I wonder why it hurts?
The inlaws called from Egypt....at the same time as the phone was ringing....I get a text message from my niece here in Canada....it reads....
"AHHHHH, I wanna go 2 Egypt and start shyt...fuk him...fuk her....the whole family is a bunch of pussys....the cunt is in egypt and she's got the villa. I hope shes goten rly sik and has diarrhea!"
I read this and was ....whooooaaaaaaa!
I answer the phone....and listen to my SIL tell me how much they want me back in Egypt....and how the ex will change his ways...and how much he loves us....blah blah. I'm dumbfounded that they are calling and telling me this, knowing full well that she's there......what sort of game is this?
I calmly ask here where the hubbex is living...."in the villa".....with whom I ask...and she stops....and starts..."errrr...ummm.....do you know?"
Oh yes, I know. In fact, I knew a long time ago. Remember when I told you all that he made the first floor of the villa into a one bedroom apartment?? Yes, even then, I knew it was for her.
I thank Allah, that even if I was forced into the ex's idea of a polygamous marriage....I WAS NOT around to be forced to live with her.
But it bites. It bites hard. I think what affects me the most is that it was MY VILLA. I picked it out, I went to meet the people...and I waited for the ex to come and see and hopefully buy it. There are so many things tied up into that place. But I take comfort in the fact, that one day, insha Allah.....I'll be there. Maybe after he dies....whatever....but for now, it makes no difference.
And then there's the fact that he doesn't support his children, doesn't see them, doesn't even call them....yet he sends a ticket for the supposedly divorced MM and brings her to Egypt.
How on earth?
But you know what speaks the loudest?
It's proof positive that I was correct in what he was doing......and that in the end, he chose her above his children. That speaks the loudest.
~~~~
Time to move on from such drama. I'm happy I'm not a part of that.......I can't imagine what life would be if I was living there? I'd probably be in the villa on the second floor, cringing every other night...humiliated and embarassed as hell. You know? When I married the ex, he had $1000 to his name after mahr and wedding. That's all we had. Everything he is, we worked for together. Time for Safa to start putting some things in motion.....
-call the egyptian embassy
-work out canadian support
-see what can be enforced in Egypt
.....and more than that? MOVE ON with my life. Start getting to the gym regular....start loving who I am, what I have become.......
Like my mother would say..."Sharon...it's time you starting dancing to the beat of your own drum"
Yes, don't you agree??
posted by Safa at 5:54 PM
24 Comments:
WOWWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
I don't even know what to say except that what goes around comes around...and since you are putting out only good...you have no reason to worry.
Hubbex, on the other hand...
7:31 PM
Wow that is s hock. This is bad but I want to say that I hope he leaves her in Egypt comes back to Canada and marries another woman. Just so that she knows how it feels and I hope the maid(your maid) in the villa spits in her food, a big snotty loogy.....
And now I will put the bitch away and say that I love you. I love you like powdered chocolate...and I always will....
2:18 AM
oh wow!
No matter how much you put into that villa, in the end, it was not written for you to have it...just yet. Just as Allah has looked out for you in so many ways until now, He will continue to do so, insha Allah. It is you, who only relies on Allah, who is successful and the winner in all of this. Not him or her. You have your dignity, your iman, your children, and the support of your mother. Masha Allah. let your ex and his wife rot in that villa. you'll have a better home in Jannah, insha Allah.
and yes I totally agree. Start putting those wheels in action and make sure he is held accountable to his responsibilities.
9:40 AM
Oh wow. But I guess we're not surprised now that all he said was crap. I'm sure it hurts you though. I am proud of you for being strong!
Anisah
10:14 AM
So this is what I'm thinking: she won. Too bad she has no clue that she didn't win any prizes. She's in egypt now and on his turf. No more canada. No more dirty apartments. No more trying to steal your husband because she got him. I'm thinking that reality will set in after "playing house" together for a while and I think she won't really like what she got.
Sooner or later, she will see. I man who acted the way he did throughout your marriage doesn't just suddenly turn around.
You don't worry about that house safa. You've got walls of your own now. Luckily for you there is love and happiness inside.
6:16 AM
As I said to you when we chatted - that villa is but a fancy prison and you are so much better off being far far away from it and the warden. Take pride in the fact that you are a survivor and you walked away with the best from that relationship - your children -something he has lost and will never recover. Love ya and Happy Birthday.
9:59 AM
Safa,
What comes around goes around. He will tire and get restless of being in Egypt 24/7. I see him getting another wife outside of Egypt. They are both warped in their thinking. I say, they deserve what they get. I hope a lot of nothing.
Amira
7:54 PM
Safa, now, more than ever, you have reason to give thanks to God for giving you the courage to save yourself and your children from that situation. Don't let this sting. Breath a sigh of relief...you are saved.
10:54 PM
i wonder what your ex-husband tells people when they ask how are his children doing...
12:24 AM
man i read this and my heart dropped like a huge boulder. how awful. and im sure too that she thinks she has won in the end. but how long will he stay with her at the villa? i remember before you decided to leave him how you used to cry for your rights from him while he would be in canada...she will soon see how you felt.
thank Allah that you are in canada and didnt have to suffer one day of living in the same home with her. how utterly humiliating that would have been safa.
best of luck to the two dishonest ppl. they deserve each other.
6:35 AM
You know what? I expected this. It's amazing how guys like him can just forget all the struggles you went through together to build your lives, then just blow you off like dust on a shelf. MM must really be the shit (sorry).
Are you telling me she dumped her kids as well? How is it, that a parent can just dump their kids like that?
I can hear your drum beating Safa - and it's getting louder and louder.
Take the sucker for all you can (if you can).
10:50 PM
L_oman either that or he's shit. Safa is too good to deal with that and MM will.
10:54 PM
i vote that HE is shit.
5:13 AM
Ew awful.
What ever did happen to MM's kids and her ex? Losing your ex has only made you stronger, but based on that article, the whole situation just destroyed that guy.
I doubt the ex and MM's road of destruction is finished. Based on their desperate attempts to get you back, the in-laws may see it coming that they are right in the path of that tsunami.
8:28 AM
safa is a stronger person but we have to remember that she adored her husband and waited all of this time for him to come to her in egypt. it still is painful to see someone you loved dearly treat you this way. and what an insult, to move someone that caused her so much pain and misery into her villa.
safa i know that was as good as a boxer punching you in the gut while you werent looking.
men are callous. its a rare one that is truly sensitive to a woman. i may be wrong but i have a feeling that MM's ex was a bit kinder than your ex. both of you are left to sort things out and to make sure your children are healthy and happy.
you two are the real champions of this whole mess.
2:41 AM
Safa, you started dancing to the beat of your own drum the day you bought those plane tickets. You havent stopped dancing since then and your drum hasnt slowed at all. Your dance steps sometimes may become less frenetic but they wont stop simply because the strenght of your courage keeps the drum beating.
The guy was no good for you. He never was. Thats all there is to him. And the villa...the villa is just that... a villa. But you have your family. How much more important than a villa! Screw the villa. Celebrate that you have your kids and dignity.
Get cracking on the support and divorce. THAT IS IMPORTANT. MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.
Sadiyah
10:13 AM
I am so thankful that the (then) 13yr old DID NOT visit Egypt. I am also so glad that you got yourself and the kids out before he brought her there.
I am so glad things are better in Canada.
I vote both of them are shit.
6:48 PM
Its all a big pile of shit...we need a poll...not a (strip)pole Safa a poll for voting who is shit and who is THE shit. I vote he is shit and Safa is THE SHIT....cuz she is cool ....LOVE YOU TONTO.
9:42 PM
omg bastard!!!!!!!!!
I'm in egypt! Can I like some shit on fire here?
Seriously I will fuck him up if you want me to.
My husband and I will help you on this side if you need it, he's a lawyer remember, just like baba.
Omg I seriously want to go light a bag of dogshit in front of his door.
4:11 AM
like = light
light some shit on fire.
4:11 AM
LOL Molly seems a little agressive you should keep her aound just in case.....
11:37 PM
WOW WOW WOW he reallly is an incredible piece of sh*t! I'd hate to be him or MM facing Allah's wrath!
5:54 AM
Time flies so fast and my ability to act is so slow. I have replied to this post in my brain doing laundry, sittin on da loo, walking my dog and whilst going to sleep. Awaiting typing straight from my brain to blogspot, here I go...
The Villa, you picked it out. Like you said, it was YOURS. In your mind it was your future, practical and mental, your life revolved around that Villa for years, sacrificing many a thing to get there, putting hopes that the Villa would improve your family life as well.
This history of the Villa is deeply ingrained in your brain.
You were walking towards that Villa daily in your plans, desires, demands, wishes for your family.
Then life took a huge U-turn. It`s damnded annoying when life does that.
Our brains are not wired to turn as fast as life does. The tricky thing needs time to adjust, to let go, to change. That hurts.
The feeling of ownership is one of the most diffucult feelings to let go of.
I have hugged a few homes goodbye in my time. I always say goodbye when I leave. Some were harder then others because Life Happened.
Ownershiphurt even happened with men. One day my friend told me that she had seen my ex that I broke up with a couple of years back with his gf. I got flippant mad. Discussing it with my girl we figured out it was not out of desire to get him back, it was my feeling of lost ownership of him that hurt me as it was the first time I heard he had a new gf.
The Villa represented for you in Egypt a home for you, your children, for your family, the return of your husband. A dignified place to live after so much sacrifice.
What is the Villa now?
A home?
I think not, it contains two very sad human beings.
I feel sorry for the Villa.
It had such a potential to be a home, now it`s just another building. Poor Villa that lost your crowd and got stuck with HubEx and MM.
You know now that the Villa is not your future. Forget the Villa, don`t even think of it as in the future when he is gone, he most likely will sell it dear.
The Villa was another life.
A Villa does not make a home. Family, happiness, safety, company and laughter makes a home. Oh, and candle-lights in my opinion ;-)
On with your mental hikingboots and go look for a Home in this new life.
You are a canadian in Canada, not far from norwegian, only snotty people with a need to show off their wealth, owning cars to extend adult male woo-woo`s live in Villas in this part of the world...;-)
Clean the Villa from your brain, huge as such a building is, it will free up a lot of discspace to make whole new plans dear.
Hugs from a laptop in Norway!
6:27 AM
Jana....I thought that this statement of yours was HUGELY insightful..."safa i know that was as good as a boxer punching you in the gut while you werent looking."
WOW!
Kafira...
That's exactly what the villa was....in my mind, we'd get that villa renovated, move in and move ON with our lives. It was a new beginning, it was THE FUTURE.
I have to let go of it. And I am......in fact, I think I'm doing really well.....I take it in stride.....and I have lots of great comments that help me see thru any of the confusion....look at molly's comment.....How can you not feel better when you read something like that?
3:50 PM
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