As we are.....

One of my dear readers asked me to update about the children......and I thought that was a wonderful idea.....so here goes.....

the soon to be 16 yr old.....

This is my responsible daughter. The tough one, the leader, the organizer, the little perfectionist, and most importantly....the do-er of good.

She started at yet another high school this year. Insha Allah, this time it won't change again. She's taking classes that she finds so interesting and comes home daily talking about her classes with animation and sparkle. Her favourite class at the moment is World Religion. She's an active participant and is learning how to have a religious discussion rather than a debate. She does her school projects with care and attention and sometimes is frustrated when she's paired with someone because she likes her things done her way. She quickly integrated into the new school and found her own group of friends. Among them is another egyptian, a pakistani, a lebanese and a desi indian. She sometimes shows some concern about not having her own style. She talks of nose rings, mini skirts and new ways to wear her hijab. She stops at the library almost daily and everyone there knows her by name......what she's been doing lately is borrowing EVERY movie that she's ever wanted to see. For now I'm letting her, because I know that there are only so many movies....and at her rate, she should be out of titles in the next 3 months....(unless they have movies available earlier than 1940's??) LOLOLOL!!!

She's also taking a psychology class......and it's interesting listening to her ask questions from three perspectives.....social, anthropologist and . She demonstrates an understanding about what sort of questions to ask, and how she can find the answers to them. It makes me so pleased to watch her growing......masha Allah.

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the soon to be 14 yr old.....

My artist. Soul searcher, troubled soul, always wronged and strongest in eman. How is it with this daughter that she always gets the rough road? I've watched her suffer thru this seperation, and have the most difficult time to find her groove here in Canada. She loves hard and she's a fighter. I can't wait to see the person that she'll be in 10 yrs. The school year started well for her, and then a bomb hit. She was changed to another class along with 6 of her classmates. Most of whom, she can't stand. One of them an egyptian boy, strangely enough, the brother of my oldest daughters newest friend.

This precious daughter of mine is always measuring herself up to society's standards and finding herself fall way below where she wants to be. She's not pretty enough, she's not thin enough, her nose isn't perfect, her hijab hides her glorious hair.....etc etc. Every day brings a new challenge to this girl....... The hardest is that she longs for her father's acceptance and misses his love. The fact that he has abandoned her brother and sisters is hard.....but the fact that he abandoned her is harder. She's come to slowly realize that he is not a night in shining armor and it has caused her to grow up before she was ready to. No other child in my house affects me like her. I wish I could be young again so that I could be her best friend. I wish that I could help her look in the mirror and accept what she sees. Sigh. She is my diamond in the rough.

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The 11 yr old.

Oh how she shines in Canada! Easily accepted into all the groups at school. She's quickly risen to the top of her class......she's the number 2 and her new best friend is number 1. Very competitive, she works hard to win every challenge....and laughs when her best friend beats her.....and she guffaws when she's the one who's on top! She's totally in love with her new DS, which was lovingly bought as a combined bday/Eid gift from a dear sister online. She recently attended her first birthday party and had the time of her life. She found out the mother of her friend was taking belly dancing classes and was quick to offer some tips! And on top of it all.....she went to her first sleepover! Oh yes.....!! How good it feels to throw off the chains that once were wound so tightly around us. And if that isnt enough....we invited her friend to sleep over with us as well!!!

She has a bit of her mother in her, because lately she has taken to riding her bike to my own peaceful secret spot, where I like to sit and reflect.......she sits on the same patch of grass, and looks towards the still water to find herself.......

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the 5 yr old,

Princess

Nemo Bounce-a-lot!! Oh yes, princess she is. Always got a bounce in her step and something funny on her tongue. She does well in school and is very active. The sad thing? She misses her father terribly. I've had to be very clear with her and tell her that her father has gone away. It broke my heart to see her tears......she soon started sobbing and yelling..."I want my baba..." Oh, the pain that she must feel!

Lately we have been having discipline problems with her. She just doesn't follow direction well. I have to carefully tell her once and twice, and then keep my eyes on her to make sure that she follows through. God help her teachers....LOL! Lately we have been going to the park after school and spending an hour for her and her brother to play.....it has helped to calm her down and use up her boundless energy.

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The little prince...

1 1/2 yrs old.

Oh what a blessing..... I live for his smiles, for his cuddles. Often I consider to give up nursing him, and it brings tears to my eyes. Will he be my last child? He has grown and shows so much joy in his expression. Loved by all, he loves tasting everyones food. At the park he sits quietly and plays in the sand.....letting it run through his fingers while he grimaces.... His joy at the park is great......you should see his happy face on the swing or going down the slide.....oh my precious son! He will grow up and be a wiz at video games. He'll sit quietly with my brother on his bed and watch while he plays xbox. An old controller in his hand...he mimics my brother and thinks he's playing. These last few days I've been spending much time with him as he suffers through roseola. Oh how those red blotches show up on his pale skin.......at night I've had him in my arms and gently carressed away his frowns.....my darling little prince....

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My 16 yr old brother....

The man of the house. Pushed into manhood at a young age, by my mother who was ill and had no one else. He's responsible and always quick to help out. He does his chores without reminders and possesses the most complete toolbox in the house. He's in Army Cadets and has been promoted to Master Corporal. He shows persistance and discipline in all his tasks. From all of the family, I think that perhaps he's had the biggest adjustment to us returning. Ousted from his "only child" status...he finds himself in the midst of a bunch of girls and fights to get bathroom time. He looks up to me and comes to confide in me. I have a brother, friends!

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The matriarch

Oh how prettily she sits on her pedestal now. I work so hard to please her. Sometimes it falls short, because she can be quite stubborn. And then there's the little problem that she's suffering from depression. She's taking meds, but something just isn't right. An astute friend told me that I have to stop doing everything in this house, and give Mom something to do. Yes, I think she has a point and lately have been pushing her more to be active.

Does it work? Yes, but slowly.

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The faithful daughter

....who me? I'm trying to find myself..... and just don't know where I fit in anymore. I've taken to switching between wearing abaya, to wearing jeans and long shirts. For the first time, I've worn eyeliner outside my house. I'm wearing sandals and showing off my sexy toe ring. (although I alternate between taking it off) I've started letting my nails grow and take care of them and file them beautifully. I've joined a gym and took my first latin dancing class....(my ass still hurts....LOOOL!) I'm trying to find me....and keep looking and looking..... And yes, I do feel that I'm closer than I was before. I no longer fear my every move and neither do I fear change......

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And then there's you...my readers. The ones that i love..... Having travelled this road with me thusfar.... I hear your cries of joy now, more than I have heard your cries of outrage..... we are coming along, friends. Making it at a snail's pace, but with an elephants heart!

So that's the update of the family.......make dua for us as we pass this first Eid in Canada...!!! Love you all!!!