OMG.....

check out this fatwa on Islamonline....WTH???

http://www.islamonline.net/livefatwa/english/Browse.asp?hGuestID=0iA4mh

I'm gonna paste it as well:

Dr. Salah Sultan
Profession President of the American Center for Islamic Research, Columbus, Ohio, and Member of the European Council for Fatwa and Research


Hind - United States
Question I was married before and have three children from that marriage. Unfortunately, it ended in divorce. I married my new husband in the USA in a civil ceremony. I became a Muslim after marrying almost immediately. We have been married by nikah. My husband is from Egypt and he is very close to his family and I respect all his wishes not to hurt them. He has never told them that he is married to me for 7 years now. I was told they would never accept me because I have children from a previous marriage. When we first got married, I told him it would be very difficult to get pregnant but not impossible. He told me at that time he did not care.

Now to my problem! As I have said before his family knows nothing of me. However, I just found out that he got married in his country this past summer and his new wife is now pregnant with their child. He never discussed this with me. I am very upset. I cannot discuss this with anyone. I understand that a husband can take more than one wife. Should he have not asked for my permission? We have no intentions of divorcing but I feel that I was lied to. I would have understood and accepted it more if he had confided in me. In addition, should not his new wife be entitled to know that he has a wife here in the United States? He has no plans of ever telling his family about us. Please help me! How do I get over the feelings of betrayal? How can I trust him again?
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Answer In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

I feel sorry for your problems and I ask Allah to help you reconcile the differences between you and your husband. I would like to answer your question in the following points:

1. It is the right of the Muslim husband to get married to another woman. Seeking the permission of the first wife is not mandatory, but it is highly recommended because of the harmony and unity of the family Islam is keen to preserve. So, if your husband married a second wife without informing you, then he did what was not proper to be done, and not what was forbidden to be done.

2. It is your right that your relationship with your husband be frank and transparent. He should have not kept the marriage secret from his family and his second wife. If his second wife got to know about this, that would be more problematic.

3. I advise you to reconcile your difference with your husband and have him tell you honestly what he intends to do. Feeling sad or that you were lied to or betrayed will only add to your sufferings.

4. If your husband still wishes to keep you, then I advise you to get pregnant as soon as possible as children give a different taste of marriage and strengthen the relationship between spouses.

May Allah help you through your troubles.

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Now for me to have something to say....what the heck is the meaning of this sentence?? "then he did what was not proper to be done, and not what was forbidden to be done. " Ummmm, okay? Isn't that a convenient loophole. That sentence just sucks......what am I supposed to interpret?

"If his second wife got to know about this, that would be more problematic. "

More problematic than what?? Than the first wife knowing about it?? I don't like this sentene either!!!

"I advise you to reconcile your difference with your husband and have him tell you honestly what he intends to do. Feeling sad or that you were lied to or betrayed will only add to your sufferings. "

What he intends to do? Hasn't he already done it? And adding to the sufferings by feeling betrayed and sad?? Is there another way to feel? Oh, I get it....she's just supposed to get over it? Lickety split? I mean....he hasn't even told his family that he's been married for 7 years!!! 7 years!! OMG!!

"If your husband still wishes to keep you, then I advise you to get pregnant as soon as possible as children give a different taste of marriage and strengthen the relationship between spouses. "

WTH? If the hubby still wishes to keep her??? WTH has she done??? GET PREGNANT? ASAP?? Go screw away ur problems you mean???


SubhanALLAH, I don't like to say anything about scholars who are more knowledgeable than all of us put together.....but his advice just sucks. And you know what sucks even more?? I'm thinking of this poor sister, crying her eyes out, typing this question into the scholar, wanting some salvation, some piece of mind....and this is the answer she gets. I feel like crying thinking of this poor soul.

Hind, if you are still out there......if you somehow come across any of our polygyny blogging sisters.....know that ur pain hasn't gone unnoticed....know that I pray that you are surviving, that you are victorious....and that Allah has granted you paradise.

You aren't alone, Ukhti......