DUN, DUN, DUN, DUN, STUNNED!
Well, I made it back from Cairo. I'm just stunned, that's why I didn't post yesterday.
We made it to my BIL's in plenty of time for iftar. We were so early, in fact. That only 2 of the kids were home. Not long to wait and my SIL showed up. She was making BBQ.....bad idea if ur fasting folks. The smell literally kills you, and u'll hear your stomach growling. My girls had a great time with their cousins....this particular BIL has 5 daughters...4 of them and exactly the same age as mine, but he's got a 5 yr old that I skipped. LOL!! Actually, my SIL and I have always been pregnant together. Isn't that funny?
Well, u all know it's a family bldg, right? 2 other brothers live there. One in the apt directly above my BIL, and the other directly below. Other brother in a bldg across the street. I don't know what happened. But my hubby's sister was supposed to eat iftar there too, but she cancelled. And while I was there, none of the family came to see us. I thought that they would have. Especially since no one called us when we got back from Canada, or even for Ramadan.......(except for the BIL whose house I was at) Even BIL who didn't call us when we were in Canada didn't bother to come say salaam to us. He's staying in Egypt for 6 mos with his wife......in the family bldg of course.
I ended up sleeping over with the girls......and left the next morning at 10 am. My SIL tried to get me to go to the other BIL's houses and say salaam to them but I just couldn't. Even my hubby called and explained to me the hasanat in Ramadan are multiplied and how I should take advantage of it. But in the end, I couldn't do it, even for Allah. I know I'd go and say salaam to them just to be better than them. So I just thought to myself....piss in ur own eye.
I wonder why they've completely shunned us like this. Just because my hubby married another wife doesn't mean that suddenly we have the cooties. I think if they are upset, they should be showing us support. You know what? It bites. And you know what else?? I'm mad at my husband about this.
**********
Okay, and here's another bitching session. I get home and call my SIL downstairs. I talk to her for a bit and then she says to me...."You'll never guess who's doing my housecleaning for me today?" And I'm like...I have no idea. And then she drops the bomb. "Your maid" WHAT?? WHAT?? WTH is my maid doing at her house? My maid is a full-time employee not part-time....how the hell did she work that out? Seems like she called someone who lives beside the villa and had them deliver a message to my maid to come and talk to ME. So the maid came, knocked on my door, didn't find me and then went knocking on her door. (she knows she's my SIL) And then SIL told her that she wanted her to clean her house, blah blah blah.
So if I wasn't already pissed, now I'm REALLY pissed. I hate this. What's theirs is theirs and whats mine is theirs. That sucks. I know I"m going to have a fight with my SIL today, maybe tomorrow about it. Isn't it bad enough that when I come back from Canada downstairs BIL informs me he's selling my car? And that he's thinking to buy a Lada instead? WTH? They are letting ppl store stuff at the villa without even asking me?? And you know what?? Again, I blame my husband! He allows that. So I'm going to try to get over being pissed today. I'll try. The good thing is that my american friend is coming for iftar...that should be nice. I promise not to bitch when she comes.
posted by Safa at 11:07 PM
9 Comments:
Can I come for Iftar? We will join forces, take off our hijabs and whoop some A**!!!!!
3:45 AM
Asalamalaykom,
"Dance like nobody's watching and live like you just don't care."
That's my advice for when your friend is over and the drapes are shut.
But, for when you go out: mind your p's and q's. There's inner life and outer life and you want to keep good by all who see you, even if it is hurting you. In the long run, you know that it's better to suck it up as much as you can. Do what you need to do with your hub, but suck it up with the inlaws. Been there/done that and still paying for my perceived, "misdeeds."
6:30 AM
Salamu alaykum,
HA is right about the inlaws and all of that. You got to make them happy and even if they diss you, the hubby will be mad if you diss them, so be the better person and ingratiate yourself to them and be patient with their stealing your maid!! I'd like to steal her too by the way if you can send them over to the USA!
My mother in law says she won't come see me anymore because I yelled at my husband while she was visiting for 6 weeks! No I didn't yell at her, it was him but that is considered rude even though she wasn't in the room. She must have heard it through the bedroom door and I'm still paying for that misdeed. She will barely speak to me now so its not worth upsetting the inlaws be they mother in law, brother in law or sister in law. Mother in law being the biggest one never ever to upset!
8:59 AM
ugh-sometimes it can be so hard with the in-laws. Do it for the baraka-even though, sometimes it is very self-satisfying to be petty!!!! ;0
11:49 AM
Thanks so much HA for that quote. I'm so pleased that u remembered that I like it.
I'm tired of it up with the inlaws.....it's just too much....my BIL is selling my car, they've got people storing stuff in my villa, my SIL has "borrowed" my maid.....I could go on and on. I finally managed to get my SIL to return a serving tray that she's had since last Ramadan. It's taken me a year. The rest of the family is ignoring me and basically......everything sucks. I gotta get a hobby. I'm tired of everything I love and have being taken away from me....even my husband.
12:11 PM
Ok... maybe I'm lost... I just don't understand why they feel they can just mush you up side the head constantly like this. You not say anything to them about thier actions or do you wait to talk to your husband? In which case you just come off as a tatter tale and can't stand up for yourself. People will try you only as far as you allow yourself to be tried. Start storing your stuff at their house, taking their "helpers" for work in your home. I'm sure they would have no problem putting you in your place. However, because you're not Arab they thing they can walk all over you. At this point sister my husband would say grab you nuts and hold your own ground. I replied to him before: " but i don't have nuts!" He replied: then grab your boobies and stand your ground!
lol
The point is this will never end until you confront the issue head on. It doesn't need to be a bunch a yelling and screaming but you have to let them know that you have their card and intend to make their hand known if they don't cut it out. Don't fall for the fake confusion and victimhood they will try to throw on you. When they try it call it out Immediatly. No need to say FEAR ALLAH SWT, clearly that's already out the door. People are very uncomfortable when you bring to light the fakeness inside of them and are less likly to mess with you again because they don't want people to shout out their ugly insides. They themselves can't even bare to look at it.
Do not let them oppress you physically or mentally.
Love ya
Sherifah
5:44 PM
Hey wait you said I was a thief...who is the real thief now huh? Dun, Dun, Dun????????? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
8:43 PM
Salam alaikoum
I posted a comment yesterday but it did not take...are your parents-in-law still around? The reason I ask is because when my husbands siblings start getting jacked up, I take my cues from my MIL. And I second what musulmana says, Umm AR is good at letting stuff chill.
I also believe in a new age way that you have to allow yourself to be mad to move on. I could wax more on that but hey..
9:36 PM
OMG....that's what it is....when I've said something before it's fake confusion and major victimhood!!! I think I've just fallen in this rut where I can't be bothered anymore....I got it in my head...when I move to the villa, she can't bother me anymore....so I'll be patient and leave this apt on good terms. But I gotta stop that sort of weiner thinking.
What is it with me and the stupid weiner thinking?
You know my american friend here? Well, she is advising me to choose my battles and says they are used to doing whatever they want concerning Hubby's stuff.....and that fighting about it now will only cause chaos and difficulties.
Okay, I hear her. But I CAN'T! This is a battle I choose. I am going to tell my SIL that I'm pissed off and that before she sends for MY maid to clean HER house, she at least had to ask MY permission. Not to mention that she fooled the maid into thinking that I was the one who sent for her. And then I'll just tell her that I prefer her not to use my maid again.
Everytime I don't call her on her behaviour, she just gets worse. I'm UP TO HERE with it.
Maybe Kafira has a point when she says "find ur inner bitch".......u know what I mean?
11:38 PM
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