Rambling thru the rambles....

Ever watch the show Designing Women? I used to love that show. It wasn't cuz (blonde woman) was single, unmarried with a child, or because the now lumpy Suzanne was always acting like she was better than everyone else. It wasn't cuz I liked looking at the too skinny frame of (forget). Nope. I liked watching it because of Julia. I liked it when she got blown up with righteous anger and really gave it to the person who got under her skin. She defended others with a passion that I yearned to know. With an eloquence of speech that I prayed to have. With a vindiction, that I had never felt. I used to just sit there, hoping that she'd blow on this episode. And when she did. OH BOY! I would jump outta my seat and yell, "O YA!" And laugh and giggle so that the entire bldg I lived in would hear me. YOU GO, Julia.

Well, I never did aspire to Julia-like abilities. I'm a slow burn. The wick on my candle goes on for miles. I'm a passive/patient loser. But I've got principles boy. Oh ya. I got such darn strong principles, I blow them out my rear without batting an eyelash. I did manage to get that from watching Designing Women. Sometimes, I really hurt because of those principles. And I really wonder if it's worth it. Is it worth being so damn upstanding? About thinking that right is right, even if I suffer for it? For example about my anti-wife calling all the time when Hubby is out with us, home with us, sleeping with me? And ME? Can I pick up the phone when he's there? If I was laying on the street with a slit throat, with only the cell phone and his number, would I call? Nope. Cause I have DAMN PRINCIPLES!

So I was over reading HA's blog archives today. Man, did I cry. I don't know what it is that gets to me......her sense of frustration so similar to my own.....her being so overwhelmed by circumstances.......being lowered to the level of having to have things translated for her to know where she stands. That just sucks. Don't think I cry cuz I feel sorry for her. I don't. Is that mean? I don't think so. I'm not blogging cuz I want people to feel sorry for me. Like Ummabdur-rahman, I blog cuz I'm ugly. Oh yeah, and need to vent. I've found this blog to be helpful, and I enjoy writing. Having feedback is addictive. So much better than having a hand written journal that you know you'd never give to anyone to read. Maybe if I went thru all my archives, I'd delete a lot of stuff. I'm not even going to look. So where was I? Oh yeah, HA.......I love the strength this sis has.....just as everyone was going thru the theatrics of the possibility of my divorce......HA is now having her turn. I see what is like on the other side. Sitting here at my computer, scared, frustrated, anticipating.....and so loving for this sister. She's better than what she's going thru. Much better. And u know what? Her hubby knows it. So does mine. I bet they are thrown away by our Eman. One of the most satisfying things that I said to my hubby in Canada was, "If you were in my position right now, you wouldn't have the ability or the Eman to handle this as well as me!" (shaking finger and everything) To which he answered, "I don't know what I would do." So u hang in there, HA.......when the wigglies get u down, u turn to Allah, u clean ur house, u exercise that frustration right outta u.......if it's not for you in this dunya.....then it's for u in the akhira.

Here's a pic of my favourite little store that I go to. Egyptian convenience store supreme. The people there are great.....it's two brothers who own a bakery, sweet store and convenience, all joined together. The convenience store brother is an old man who likes my hubby very much. They all do. They always ask me about him, when he's coming...say salaam to him...they hug him when he comes, buy him a pop.....people love him. At this store, they get special things for me that I sometimes have a hard time finding....cans of diet coke....tuna packed in water.....u name it. And he always keeps some aside for me, cuz he knows I like it. I always buy cases of milk from him.....and the worker puts it in the car for me....even when I fight to carry it myself....they never let me. They love my kids....the old man regularly gives my little 3 yr old gum or other little things, he knows all the girls by name, all the workers do, really. You know....I guess what I'm trying to say, is that even tho there are people here who don't talk to us, dont' ask about us.....there are others who make up the difference. Alhamdulillah. Insha Allah, today I will make dua for them. And for HA's son.

I dropped by the villa today. I brought the maid a bag of clothes for her 1 yr old daughter. Cast-offs from my little one. She is so pleased when I give them to her. She told me that when she goes back home to the country that all her family keep trying to get her to give them some of the baby's clothes. I take care of them, and I have good taste. U wanna know something funny? I spent a lot of time in the thrift stores when I was in Cda....I love them......I bought some new stuff too....but only essential pieces that I couldn't find at any thrift store. When I was packing, I checked the labels of the clothes I bought for the 9 yr old and 3 yr old. All of their clothes.....and I mean ALL of their clothes were either from The Gap, Old Navy or Roots. No kidding. No odd piece out when it came to the thrift store buying. And you know what else? I don't look. So you can imagine this cute little 1 yr old country girl walking around in The Gap......her family must think her so exotic.
; hl=en; So where was I??? Oh yeah.....I paid the family....I felt so bad. She told me that her family asked her to send them money and she had to tell them she didn't have any. I felt so bad. They had a surprise for me......they froze the mangos that came off my tree. No, really. They are huge. They didn't save me figs cuz u can't freeze em....but I was so surprised about the mangos. I had told them to eat them. My first year of fruit. Wow.

So would you like to know the reward that I'm getting for being a good wife? (translation of good wife? Put up with lies, shit and bullshit, advise well as a good muslimah, listen and be obedient....never letting him see you cry....) Seems like he's buying me a new car. No, really. Either I will go to dealerships with my BIL in the beginning of OCT, or I'll just wait for hubby to come and we'll get it together. (Hubby is saying that he'll be here in a month....the last 10 days of Ramadan) Oh, didn't I tell you? Yeah, that's what he's saying.....I'm happy about that. I'm going to buy the car in my name. Not going to get it in his.

So here I am, thinking about HA, thinking about this little store that I love, thinking about the villa, the people that work for me there, thinking about the new car......and then...thinking about Julia of Designing women. And what first comes to my mind, honest to God.....is that when we had less, we were happier. I miss those days.....when things were simple....like one of my friend bloggers said...I like one plus one.....me too.